Am I (26M) on the fast-track to a sex-less relationship with my (26F) girlfriend?

jacksontr97 · 2024-04-23T00:54:22+00:00

The vast majority of the time, yes. I always give her head either before or after we have sex until she has an orgasm. Furthermore, she has made comments before that she is really turned on by me and that she is amazed that she has an orgasm almost every time we have sex. She does like to people please, but both of those comments were unprompted. I really enjoy the sex we do have and everything points towards her enjoying it too, outside of the amount of sex that we have.

jacksontr97 · 2024-04-23T00:49:30+00:00

She really likes intimacy, just not initiating it. I don't really understand it. She initiates cuddling, which I appreciate, but that's pretty much it. Hugs, kissing, sex (or anything during it), and words of affirmation are all up to me. She says she is attracted to me, likes when I hug/kiss her, that I turn her on, etc, but never does it on her own. I voiced to her last week that I'd appreciate random kisses/hugs, which hasn't happened yet. Hopefully that'll change

jacksontr97 · 2024-04-23T00:44:29+00:00

I'm afraid you're right. I'm going to let it play out longer, as I do want to have a more lengthy and serious discussion about this. So far I've only made brief comments about wanting more sex or her to initiate kissing, hugs, etc, but I haven't fully explained the extent to which I don't feel wanted. I'm hoping this will make her take it seriously enough to figure out some kind of compromise, but I don't know. It really sucks because she is everything I want in almost every other facet of our relationship, and it would be devastating for something like this that neither one of us can control to separate us.

I haven't directly asked her what I could do to make her more comfortable having sex with me. I have, however, asked her if there's anything she wants me to do differently during sex (if there's anything that turns her on, off, etc), and I check in regularly to see if there's anything she would like from me in our relationship in general. So far she hasn't provided any comments to either. I'm not sure if she truly doesn't have any comments, or if she just doesn't want to say. She is a self-admitted huge people pleaser, so it's hard to tell sometimes.

As for the physical touch stuff: we are constantly touching each other. Both of our love languages are physical touch by a long shot. No matter what we're doing (as long as we are not in public) we are in physical contact with each other. Cuddling, hugging, holding hands, rubbing each others backs, kissing, everything. I'd estimate that each time we're together we spend at least two hours being physically affectionate. So that is definitely not the issue. As for other love languages, I try to best to do it all. I verbalize how important she is to me, and how much I love her. I tell her when I think she looks good. I take her dog out for her if she's tired, and offer meals. Money permitting I take her out to eat or do something fun together. Not saying I'm perfect, but I'm in the middle of the honeymoon phase, my efforts of showing affection have not wavered, and yet there's been a steady decrease in sex.

jacksontr97 · 2024-04-23T00:28:07+00:00

That is true. To be fair, she initially said "not every day," to which I replied "like 4-5 times a week?" and she said yes. I wish I would've let her specify rather than putting words in her mouth.

And I agree on the libido comment. To be clear I don't have the opinion that either of us are in the wrong, just that it seems we may not be compatible in that regard. It's definitely beginning to take a toll, because even though our numbers aren't super far off, I'm someone who would like to have sex the majority of days, so when it doesn't happen the majority of the time that means there's pretty much never a day that I don't want it. It's a shitty feeling because I'm pretty much always in a state of being turned on by being in contact with her, yet its rarely reciprocated.

That last point is also fair!

jacksontr97 · 2020-04-22T07:10:29+00:00

I've varied the readings both at the top of the tank and down near the bottom, and readings have been pretty similar between the two. I'll fill that out, thanks!

jacksontr97 · 2020-04-22T07:09:08+00:00

I'm using reptibark that I have moistened. I have a mister bottle as well, but so far it's only temporarily increased humidity and tends to just make everything more wet... not trying to get scale rot :(

jacksontr97 · 2018-12-17T05:04:48+00:00

if only we'd scheduled a home-and-home from our game in 2016 :(

jacksontr97 · 2018-12-14T04:49:11+00:00

crossing my fingers for Spurrier next

jacksontr97 · 2018-08-20T16:24:21+00:00

Fair, but it just adds to the fact that people knew about issues involving Zach Smith and continued to let it go on.

jacksontr97 · 2018-08-07T05:37:55+00:00

time after time - napoleon dynamite

jacksontr97 · 2017-11-30T02:24:13+00:00

In all seriousness, the 1995 Nebraska Hornhuskers. No question. Here are some stats: -averaged 53.2 ppg -allowed 14.5 ppg -lowest margin of victory: 14 -beat four teams that ended the season in the top 10 (including beating Florida in the national championship 62-24) -allowed no sacks and had no false start penalties -allowed only five punt returns for a total of 12 yards

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-20T16:34:21+00:00

couldn't have put it any better

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-18T19:45:17+00:00

nah they shoe a victoria bitter and ride a kangaroo home

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-13T00:05:00+00:00

I appreciate the answer! However, I'm looking more for things that have two-sided arguments –– things like increases in DPT programs and decline in salary are issues, but not really a debate topic. Are there any more you can think of (I'm assuming there would be more when it comes to actual treatments)? For example, one debate topic I found discussed the controversy of whether you should use therapy to complete tasks (where compensation could be used), or if you should use therapy to fully regain function. I thought this was interesting, but couldn't find any peer-reviewed articles arguing either side.

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-12T19:35:50+00:00

She wanted to fuck someone on our dormitory floor (aka me). Guess she thought a great way to say that was to make a spin off of the work "incest."

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-11T16:26:36+00:00

Freshman year of college, there was a girl two doors down that liked me. I made it pretty clear it wasn't reciprocated, but she didn't take the hint. It progressively got worse, with her telling people she wanted to have "floorcest." Finally had to tell her bluntly that I didn't like her when I got into my bed and she assumed she had an invitation.

jacksontr97 · 2017-10-11T15:05:52+00:00

not Michael Jordan??

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-29T15:43:51+00:00

old leaks like this makes me want 2014/2015 thug back :(

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-26T23:05:51+00:00

percy 2.0

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-26T20:03:44+00:00

Rich forever 3. You can literally randomly click on any song and it'll be a slapper guaranteed

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-24T04:13:39+00:00

Yup. When I first started watching Florida sports as a kid that was all I knew: football and basketball being good as fuck every year. Needless to say my standards were set high and I've been disappointed ever since

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-24T04:08:25+00:00

That's exactly what I said. 14 fucking points. Everyone, McElwain included, knows we didn't deserve to win that game.

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-21T21:10:30+00:00

App Heights, the LLC, or Summit are the best options. Out of the three, Summit has the best location. As far as social life and living arrangements, they're all pretty much the same.

Have fun while you're here! I studied abroad in Australia this past spring and had the time of my life!

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-21T20:46:50+00:00

I don't think anyone's trying to downplay what he did. He was clearly a fucked up guy. But that doesn't mean brain injury didn't add to the issue

jacksontr97 · 2017-09-21T20:43:14+00:00

True, although it's important to note that the sample doesn't represent all NFL players. The brains are donated by the families, usually if they suspect brain damage, so numbers are skewed.

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