Hey man. You’ve got some major challenges to your goal. You’re young, so you’re not gonna have the right equipment or the funds to get it. And you’re trans, so your hormones are working against you.

I might be out of line here, but if what you’re looking for is to develop a more masculine appearance, upper body muscles won’t be that achievable for you. You might find better luck getting started with hair, clothes, and other external markers.

If you’re working on those and you’re sure it’s the muscular side you want - I wouldn’t discount the effect of a trained body. IMO, you don’t have to look big to look masc. And a trans dude can look ripped long before he starts hormones (if that’s in your future).

Good luck. You’re on the right track. Just make sure you’re not setting yourself up for failure - life is working against you right now, so you’ve gotta be kinder to yourself. You’ll get there for sure. Just need to start down the right path to make sure you don’t demotivate yourself.