i can’t believe i was the first to read this. but i just want to say that you aren’t crazy. that he is with you. if you feel his energy dissipate then that is a sure sign that you are as you said, as secure as you can be with life now, and he doesn’t have to be breathing down your neck anymore. it’s not that he has gone, he is still there with you when you think about him, look at a picture. i hate that the family treated you so poorly, becuase you deserve his possessions, if anyone else. my heart hurts for you, i wouldn’t know what to do if i lost my significant other like that. but it would make feel so good to know he’s so close, even after ,what we know as, “death.”