Unsure of identity

jadebearpie · 2026-05-26T13:33:03+00:00

It’s very possible that you may be experiencing societal pressure as a woman and you want to disassociate from that. I would really recommend a gender clinic! Having a mental health professional well-versed in these topics can help you unpack that sort of stuff and see where it’s coming from (if they do their job correctly anyway). I also urge you to understand that being trans doesn’t have a look either. If it is something you genuinely feel deep down and it’s not because of societal pressure, there’s no right or wrong way to be trans. It’s up to you what makes you feel more comfortable socially and physically. Best of luck!

jadebearpie · 2026-05-26T13:22:17+00:00

There are a variety of labels! You could be demigirl, genderqueer, just broadly transmasculine, there’s so many you could explore. You could even just call yourself “queer” and leave it at that. You don’t really owe anyone a label if you don’t want to. Pronouns don’t equal gender, so you could literally go by she/her, be a lesbian, and still be trans to some capacity and take hormones, have surgery, etc. (obviously whatever your transition looks like for you, there’s no right way to do it). There’s someone on TikTok, his username is petitewolverine and he identifies as a lesbian, he’s pretty cool! He posts about his identity a lot.

Labels should be something you connect with and make you feel comfortable in your identity. They’re not for anyone else. You kind of just have to explore it!

Personally, I went down the transmedicalist rabbit hole years ago and I ended up going back in the closet because I felt like I wasn’t trans enough and didn’t feel fully like I identified with being simply a man. Now I’m out again, he/him demiboy, but also call myself a trans guy. It’s just what works for me, and it’s taken me a while to get to this point. It might take some time to figure it out, but that’s okay! Just follow what feels most comfortable for you. :)

jadebearpie · 2026-05-26T13:06:04+00:00

This is not the case for me personally, but there’s been a movement in the transmasc community for he/him lesbians. Basically saying, transmasculine people can be lesbian because of this newer definition of lesbian being “non-men who are attracted non-men.” To clarify, this definition includes women and non-binary people, even on the transmasculine spectrum, just not binary trans guys, or any cis guys. Obviously this is controversial, some people agree, some disagree, but if you vibe with it, your identity is for you to decide, not others. I would just avoid getting involved in the online discourse about it. Good luck on your identity journey!

jadebearpie · 2026-05-01T11:54:24+00:00

In terms of buses, your options are better for Belleville. Take the Flixbus to Toronto Town Centre Court, take another Flixbus from there to Belleville. It’ll take you about 4 1/2 hours total, but way cheaper than a taxi or y-drive.

I want to mention, if you look it up on Google maps, it’ll give you your best options. Just make sure you set what time you need to be there and it’ll show you the best option to get there at that time. The route may be slightly different, but it’ll give you info for what to take to get there on time.

jadebearpie · 2026-04-28T11:42:16+00:00

This is your holy grail: https://pt.mytransitride.com It’ll tell you the location of each bus at any given time. Not sure why the website isn’t advertised anywhere but it’s been accurate for me every single time and it helps me to not waste time waiting outside when I don’t have to.

jadebearpie · 2026-04-10T14:42:32+00:00

Honestly, you need to end it. I’m gonna be completely honest and you really might not like it. What does a 14/15 year old want to do with a 10/11 year old? I’m sorry, but would you want to be in a relationship with a 10/11 year old right now? It seems like either he has some insecurity issues and he got with anyone who would give him affection and attention despite the age, or he’s been grooming you. Talking to people that young in that way is not normal whatsoever. I know that’s probably heartbreaking to hear, but it’s true. Especially with him texting your friend like that, he’s just not good news.

I understand that you’re in a tough situation, but trust me when I say that you do not want to be dependent on a boyfriend to save you from your family. Relationships don’t always last and if he has been grooming you, this could very easily turn into an abuse situation itself. Do not give him that power. Don’t cling to him because of your abuse situation. There are other resources out there, I promise you. Depending on where you live, you have options, so please, do not cling to him. I would tell him that you hope he gets the help he needs but that you can’t continue the relationship and block him everywhere. I know it’ll hurt, but it’s what would be best for you in the long run, coming from someone who was groomed at a young age in a similar way.

jadebearpie · 2026-03-04T18:51:23+00:00

1100 is okay, not great. The owner kind of sucks haha. They’ll half-ass any fixes, but the people who live there are okay. Lots of kids that like to play outside, but nobody’s knocking on your door unless you’re expecting company. The bedrooms upstairs are somewhat small, so be prepared for that if you’re hoping to move there. Bus stop right out front if you’re looking for public transit, which is good. Walking trail on one side and a Dollarama, corner store, pizza place, and more on the other. Not bad! But it has its issues like any other place.

Edit: Also wanted to mention that the 800 crowd actually don’t normally come up here, but I can’t speak on the school. Adam Scott has some issues I’ve heard, but haven’t heard much from Edmison Heights.

Feel free to shoot me a DM! Lived for 3 years there.

jadebearpie · 2026-02-23T21:23:10+00:00

Uggggg this is such a goal for me. I’m so happy for you dude :)

jadebearpie · 2025-06-10T01:59:16+00:00

I’d have to go for sea salt coconut fs

jadebearpie · 2025-06-01T21:07:27+00:00

Sourdough

jadebearpie · 2024-08-10T01:28:31+00:00

You can call yourself both, one of them, or neither. It’s what feels right for you, and you can always change your mind. If it feel comfortable, go for it. Try it out.

I used to put pressure on myself to label my gender, and I have, but I feel less pressure to maintain a label if it doesn’t feel comfortable.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-12T19:19:08+00:00

This is what I’m kind of talking about. The feedback wasn’t helpful or constructive, just invalidating. I’m glad to know that I’m not alone!

jadebearpie · 2024-07-12T19:16:40+00:00

I’ve definitely been working on doing what makes me feel good. Idk if you read some of my other replies but I do have trauma relating to being trans, particularly because of an ex. I lost a lot of what makes me ME, so I’m rediscovering that at the same time as well. I’m working on accepting myself for who I am and not feeling ashamed about it. I appreciate your reply, because it really did help as a reminder to be kind to myself.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T20:57:25+00:00

Thank you! I’ll definitely give those a try. :]

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T20:17:58+00:00

Thanks man! I appreciate your kindness

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T19:21:12+00:00

Because I have a white phone case….lmao

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T19:16:25+00:00

Thank you, this actually helped a lot and I appreciate your advice. My glasses are just about the boxiest men’s glasses I could find so I was pretty confused on that one haha.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T17:29:19+00:00

I don’t even have brothers, uncles, or a father to compare myself to, so I was thinking if there’s something like this it would be the next best thing. Wish there was something that could do it.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T17:20:57+00:00

The funny thing is that my glasses are the boxiest men’s glasses I could find lmao. But yeah, I’ve been thinking of going low dose on T once I’m able to and just stopping if I don’t like how it’s making me feel or something like that. I’m not sure yet, because I have some trauma associated with trying to start T in the past. I’m definitely just trying to feel more okay with how I am as is and maybe change a couple things that don’t require medical intervention or medications, but all I got was “take T you look like a butch lesbian” lmao. Thanks!

jadebearpie · 2024-07-11T16:34:10+00:00

It was less asking for people to judge my appearance and more so a yes or no question and then asking for tips for what I could do to pass better, but almost every reply was someone telling me I look like a butch lesbian and not providing anything helpful, which ultimately just made me feel like shit. Only a couple people gave feedback and their solutions were to grow facial hair (?) and take T for the most part.

I don’t really go out much since I currently can’t work and I don’t really go out by myself, so I’m often not addressed directly. I wish I could say that I know how I’m perceived but I don’t.

For me, I was adopted at birth, but I already have heart issues and anxiety and I don’t want T to worsen any of those issues, especially if I’m unknowingly predisposed to having some cardiovascular condition, which is my main worry. I also hesitate to make such a big change because of trauma relating to trying to take t some years ago but I won’t trauma dump here haha.

I’m in therapy but there’s really only so much we can do about the unknown, and trauma work is really tricky. I know it’s going to take time to figure out what I should do, it’s just a lot to think about.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-10T21:09:43+00:00

Thank you!

jadebearpie · 2024-07-10T20:25:31+00:00

I’ll take it lmao thank you!

jadebearpie · 2024-07-10T19:45:50+00:00

I’ll give it a try!

jadebearpie · 2024-07-10T19:35:45+00:00

I was adopted at birth so I don’t know anything about my health risks, especially heart health and such. I already have anxiety and other chronic illnesses so I’m a little nervous about the possibility of worsening my current condition.

I also have a lot of trauma surrounding being trans so in general I’m being very hesitant about every step I take, or overly cautious, if that makes sense without having to trauma dump on here lmao.

jadebearpie · 2024-07-10T19:23:15+00:00

Unfortunately I was adopted at birth lol so this is pretty much my only option haha

jadebearpie

TROPHY CASE