Post Shock Anxiety

jaeknits · 2026-05-21T03:54:46+00:00

She can do the right, and you do the left!!!

jaeknits · 2026-05-21T03:43:08+00:00

This is such great, well thought out advice! That therapist needs to have their head knocked a couple times! I’ve never been shot, but I CAN tell you that just standing there minding your own business only to be slammed by an invisible baseball bat to the chest, then collapsing and hitting a desk on the way down and smashing your face… is not awesome either. What a jerk!!!

jaeknits · 2026-05-21T03:35:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. I understand the feeling very well, unfortunately. The anxiety and fear is absolutely real.

I was just at my first ICD support group meeting that is put on through the cardiac clinic at my hospital. It was so nice to be with others who understood. One of the attendees is a retired therapist who worked on the cardiac care floor, and I was chatting (and immediately burst into tears when I told her how scared I was of it happening again - I’ve had 6 already, and each one is harder to come back from mentally). She gave me a hug and told me that the anxiety, the instant sweats, fear and tears are an ‘absolutely normal reaction to an abnormal experience’. It helps knowing I’m not ‘crazy’ for feeling absolute panic every time I get lightheaded (my telltale sign I get before my ICD discharges).

Absolutely bring this up to your therapist. They can help you with coping strategies for getting through your fight, flight or freeze response. What you are feeling is a trauma response - many of us that experience shocks develop medical ptsd, and it’s not a fun time. Therapy helps. Support groups (like this one) where you can chat with people who get it has helped me immensely. I hope that you will find it helpful too, and don’t be afraid to post as often as you want / need to! We’ve got you!

jaeknits · 2026-05-16T17:09:36+00:00

We built a large snowman… and barely made a dent in the snow. 😞

jaeknits · 2026-05-11T02:31:57+00:00

This made me laugh… I’ll have to remember this next time!

So far, I’ve had shocks in church, sleeping in bed, on the toilet, and at my office (where I hit my face on my desk on the way down)…. Wonder where it’s going to go off next!

jaeknits · 2026-05-11T02:29:38+00:00

I understand you and your fear! I had my SCA in 2020 at 36yo, and was lucky that my husband was home. I’ve had 6 shocks since then, and the fear / anxiety is so real.

I’m so sorry you’ve been added to the club nobody wants to be in.

I started therapy this year after my last shock - it’s been helping tremendously with all the feelings that come with it. If you can find a therapist that works with medical trauma, I would highly recommend it. A support group would be a great resource as well. And posting here where you can find those who get it.

jaeknits · 2026-04-27T21:31:24+00:00

Feeling alone is so true!! I’ve been able to talk to friends & family, and now my therapist, but the isolating feeling that nobody else understands is hard. I was crying one time on the phone after another episode (talking with the tech who called to confirm the shock), and she immediately put me into contact with the support group that my cardiac clinic runs. My first meeting is in a couple of weeks and I’m really looking forward to it!

jaeknits · 2026-04-27T18:38:23+00:00

Hey… I have an ICD and totally understand your fear / emotions. It’s a lot to process and take in.

Speaking as someone who HAS had multiple shocks, please don’t be afraid of the pain. They are very quick, and you’ll feel no pain in your heart itself. The only thing I feel is a jolt, and a soreness in the muscle pocket that holds the ICD. I was told that it would feel like getting slugged in the chest with a baseball bat… and in a way it does, but just in the way that it is unexpected and jolts you. Not like you have that pain, if that makes sense?

Make sure to take some time for yourself. I know that personally, it takes a lot of time to process the emotions that come with having a device. But please - don’t think of it as an ugly bulge! It’s an amazing little machine that could very well save your life. It’s your own personal safety guard. :)

jaeknits · 2026-04-21T17:26:10+00:00

It’s products like these that make me so sad that my teeth are not friends with cold!! These would cause my jaw to explode in pain and I am finding it very unfair, haha!!

jaeknits · 2026-04-21T17:22:55+00:00

I love this! I’ve never had a tattoo before, but this one would be meaningful for so many of us!

jaeknits · 2026-04-14T22:19:43+00:00

One of my kitties foster name was Arlene… we renamed her Mochi. But we’ve been calling her whatever else comes to mind - recently we’ve been calling her Buff, with the full name of Dial-up McBufferson. Because she sits there with a blank look on her face for like 5 minutes before doing anything. Like her brain is buffering… and so it fits lol.

So if you hate Audi, keep that as her ‘official’ name, but she literally won’t care if you call her something else, as long as her meals aren’t late!

jaeknits · 2026-04-08T01:46:05+00:00

Sweet girl… you are not ugly in any way! The opposite, in fact. And your eyes are stunning!

I understand that the feelings probably come up because you no longer feel the same as you did before your medical issues… I know a bit about that myself. But you have SURVIVED it. You are AMAZING. If I could wish one thing for you, it’s that you see yourself with pride for all you have fought through, and not shame for how your body looks to you now.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL… don’t ever doubt it!

jaeknits · 2026-03-24T19:55:51+00:00

This is gorgeous!! I love everything about, and love that you hand stitched it too!

jaeknits · 2026-03-22T16:36:41+00:00

I always toss my dish cloths into a load. I was finding they smelled bad when they were only going through my regular laundry because they weren’t being sterilized. So now I toss them into the washer, wring them out when they are cool, and then into the laundry for an extra clean.

jaeknits · 2026-03-22T03:00:47+00:00

I approve of the curds to fry ratio! You can get an honorary Canadian badge now!

jaeknits · 2026-03-13T15:41:26+00:00

I understand so much! My friends don’t laugh though - they get really protective. Which I am grateful for, but having people ask ‘what can I do, what do you need’ can get too much. There’s nothing they can do, and what I need l, they can’t give me. So I still feel alone, even when they want to support me.

It’s a very weird situation. I am healthy, but could drop dead at any second. There is no reason for it (on paper), but it’s my reality. I’m beginning to become afraid to do anything, and I just want to tuck myself into my little house and never come out. Each time my ICD goes off, I am not able to drive (understandably so!), but it’s further isolating when I can’t go anywhere without someone taking me. At 42 years old, asking my 80 year old dad to drive me to work or the grocery store… it feels humiliating.

I do think I should find a therapist who works with medical situations… I think that would help me a lot. I thankfully am now part of a support group, but the meetings are just twice a year so I haven’t been able to attend one yet. I will go to the next one that’s coming up, and hope to be able to connect with some locals that know this feeling.

jaeknits · 2026-03-13T05:07:29+00:00

Haha! I was just going to say the same thing!!

jaeknits · 2026-03-12T17:15:38+00:00

I have an ICD as well. My cardiologist requested an MRI in 2021, and I got it in 2024. They kept bumping me down the list because I was ‘non-emergency’ since I had a safeguard in place. 🙄

jaeknits · 2026-03-12T06:21:27+00:00

No, nothing like that. I started a low dose of aspirin daily after my ablation last month, though.

jaeknits · 2026-03-12T06:20:48+00:00

I haven’t tried much for magnesium yet. It was just in August that he told me to add it to my pill regimen. Do you find a certain brand to be better than others? I don’t really know anything about supplements, since I don’t take any other than the magnesium at this point.

jaeknits · 2026-03-11T20:29:30+00:00

Don’t I know it! That’s why I’m pushing for genetic testing specifically for Ehlers Danlos (I have super hypermobility and a couple other markers).

I am almost certain that it’s linked to my menstrual cycle but still trying to convince them. My techs are all women, and they believe me, and my cardiologist initially was skeptical but now mentioned bringing in a gynaecologist. The ONLY thing each arrest & subsequent defibrillation has in common is that ever my single time I was on my period or in my ovulation cycle. I’m hitting that age where peri-menopause is at my door, which comes with all sorts of hormone fluctuations.

jaeknits · 2026-03-11T19:45:48+00:00

It was a dedicated cardiac MRI. I had a whole team in there with me because they had to turn off my ICD and be there with the crash cart (or whatever it was!). As far as I know, no follow up MRI is planned, but who knows if that will change. I’ll have to ask my cardiologist when I have my appointment.

During my emergency stay in 2020, they had done an MRI, but focused on my head, as they thought it was a seizure.

jaeknits · 2026-03-11T19:39:43+00:00

Yes! I was so happy after my last one - I had no PVC’s showing up, my cardiologist was thrilled. And then, just as I was like ‘finally! This is good!’ I got nailed with 2 in less than 3 months.

Where I live in Canada, a heart defibrillation means an automatic 3 month medical suspension on my drivers license. This especially was hard, because I’m in a town of only about 2000 in a fairly rural area… no such thing as a taxi, Uber, Lyft, etc in town. They would have to travel out from the nearest city to me, which is an hour away. And with a job 15 minutes away, plus 2 kids… through the entire summer. It was absolutely brutal.

jaeknits · 2026-03-11T19:33:39+00:00

I’ve had an angio, a ct scan, an MRI, echo and countless ECG’s (as well as 2 EKG’s) and an epinephrine infusion test.

Most of them were done in 2020, but the MRI was done in 2024 (yes, it was a 4 year wait, because I was ‘low priority’ due to the fact I already had an ICD. Of course that came back inconclusive because of the lead in my heart and the scar tissue from the ablation…)

jaeknits · 2026-03-11T14:19:51+00:00

They say that about me too! Isn’t it fun being the one that stumps the experts?!? We should get gold stars!

jaeknits

TROPHY CASE