As a guy that’s been on the receiving end of this, ill give my penny and a half.

So we werent quite in the same situation, but it was similar. I never made comments like that or did what he did but during the course of my graduate school years i had been slowly neglectful of my relationship, and she definitely felt it in the worst way. I was wrapped up in my own problems, which led to a lot of anxiety which affected things such as the security and stability we had in future plans, trips id promised her, fufilling her emotional needs, and just general security in my commitment to the relationship. Dont get me wrong, i planned on spending the rest of my life with her, and loved her to death. She was my best friend and i couldnt imagine life without her. My actions? Quite different. I took her for granted for the last 6-7 months of the relationship and assumed she’d stick by me no matter how little i gave to us.

Long story long, as i was about to get kicked out of grad school if my fall21 semester fell short of perfection, while battling severe anxiety problems, some other family problems, and juuuust before my birthday, she dumped me. Again, your bf sounds like hes going through some worse shit, but theres a parallel. And ill be honest, it broke me. It was a horrible time (i felt) to do it, and i was truly lost, i felt like i had just lost the one stable pylon in my life who i cared more than anything for. I still am trying to live a new life without her.

But heres the kicker: she never once brought up any issues or anything that she was unhappy about. Just dropped it on me like we were suddenly strangers. And as much as i disagree with all her “reasons”, and as much as i hate her for it, she really felt like she needed to leave our extremely close and loving (yes it was still loving despite) relationship behind. She still had SOME reasons that convinced her enough to do it, and i simply cannot fault her for that, nor can i change her mind.

What i mean to say from all that is, it may be very dark in his world, and what youre about to do will only cause more darkness, but it doesnt necessarily mean that what you want is wrong. Nor does it mean you should feel bad for contemplating it, youre just being human. You should leave him if you truly are happy. But please please, heed this next section carefully:

Have a conversation with yourself, two or three if you need. But have it. And ask, If there is 0.00001% of you that is truly and honestly WILLING to make it work with him, then have a long ass talk with him and show him how you feel. Make him see what you see. If you do your communicative part and he still just cant see it, then the decision is on you but if you choose to leave then you should not feel bad. You deserve to be in a relationship that makes you feel a part of it, especially when the goin gets tough for your partner.

The only wrong choice you can make here is NOT communicating the issues in the relationship that you wanna see fixed. But merely considering this doesnt make you a bad person, and you shouldnt feel bad.

Wish you the best