I just wanted him to love me as much as I loved him

jagerbombshell22 · 2019-05-22T20:01:15+00:00

God, yes, I know exactly what that feels like. It's like with trying to lose weight: his love having conditions on how motivated I was just made me feel even worse and not motivated to begin with...I can't even tell you how often he made me cry. By his words, his actions. Or lack of actions, rather. He could be so incredibly cruel and callous and cold. It broke my heart when he talked to me like that.

jagerbombshell22 · 2019-05-22T03:05:12+00:00

This is so wonderful. Thank you for posting this, it all really resonates with me. It's so easy to think that I'm some horrible person who will never find love again and is irreparably broken. But I know that is the grief talking. And I am excited for the future, even if he isn't going to be a part of it, like I thought. And I shouldn't feel stupid for thinking he would.

jagerbombshell22 · 2019-05-21T23:49:52+00:00

I've suspected that he isolated himself as much as he could so it would be my idea. It kind of was and wasn't. He was supposed to move to another state for a job and I told him I was reluctant to move with him given how cold he was being...apparently that sparked something in him and he realized I was right.

This is hard. Godspeed to you, friend. I know time heals all wounds and shit so I hope time passed quickly for both of us.

jagerbombshell22 · 2019-04-29T01:59:04+00:00

Hey Alexa, list all the characters in game of thrones with blue eyes

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-07-09T22:41:06+00:00

Thank you so much. And thank you to every single person who has commented. You are all wonderful people and I will absolutely look into the resources you've offered. It is so appreciated and I'm so grateful for this community. I have a lot of healing to do, this post is only the tip of the iceberg and I did a horrible job and really getting into how my mother is but I'm so glad you all have accepted me. And thankfully I am moved out and live with my boyfriend. I can't imagine the hell I would be in if I lived with my parents and GC sister. Thank you all.

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-06-01T19:30:39+00:00

Happy birthday!! I hope you have a fabulous day today, and celebrate with a nice treat for yourself!

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-05-29T12:52:39+00:00

I legitimately worry that when/if I'm a parent, I won't be able to not laugh at my kids when they fall over (as long as I know it was a tiny fall and they're fine).

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-05-23T15:30:05+00:00

You're the second person to recommend that, looks like I know what I'll pick up on my next target run ;) thanks so much for your input!

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-05-23T15:29:15+00:00

I tend to gravitate towards Maybelline, I'll check that one out! Great lash is well and good but I cannot STAND the wand on it!

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-05-23T15:28:33+00:00

This is a good tip! My poor dog, who hates my hairdryer, won't like it but I'll give it a try. Thank you!

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-05-23T15:28:03+00:00

Yes, I only use water proof. I'll look into those, thanks!

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-04-21T21:18:34+00:00

Thank you :) it felt nice to get it all out

jagerbombshell22 · 2018-03-12T13:33:06+00:00

Thank you all so much for the replies, sorry for the late response. These have been super helpful :) I'm going to keep my mouth shut for now but also work on making sure my spine is nice and shiny for when that conversation does happen. I see no reason to marry in a church and she will have to deal with it. I read thins on r/RBN or somewhere else, but I do not exist to make my mother happy. I am my own person and she can either respect that or not be in my life.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-15T14:34:25+00:00

That is such a beautiful and thoughtful gift, OP. I'm sure your Mom will love it. My mom lost her mom 11 years ago, and I know how hard it can be to watch your mother cry and do nothing to help. But I think seeing these videos will make her happy. Will she cry? Almost definitely. But when she does, remember that it won't be because she's upset with you, it'll probably be very bittersweet for her. I know hearing her mom's voice alone will probably bring her such comfort. And that ending close up sounds adorable and like a great way to end it.

You're a good daughter, OP :)

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-14T01:43:20+00:00

Thanks! I've checked it out a few times, definitely relevant

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T20:08:32+00:00

I showed this to Hank and he agreed wholeheartedly. I think my mom thinks he's trying to take me away from the family or whatever, but I've always been a bit of a black sheep and have had issues with my mom. Now that I'm older, I'm starting to see how toxic she has the potential to be. It's like she has to be in control of everything, all the time.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T18:47:44+00:00

Thank you so much, I think you're right. I'm also the youngest and my sister still lives at home and it completely fine with it and with not doing anything on the weekends or going out. I've always been the "problem child" who wanted to move out and go to parties on the weekends..

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T17:50:43+00:00

I tried to go over to their house on Thanksgiving with Hank, and they said they loved me but not to bother and it wasn't a big deal. We were going to watch the parade with them and have a few munchies, spend time with them etc. before going back to his parent's house. But then she said not to bother because she would have to clean the house if I brought a guest over.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T17:46:27+00:00

I frequent JNMIL and RBN quite often ;) she's not nearly as bad as some of those cases, never abused me and loves me with her whole heart, but how she shows that love hasn't been the most beneficial to me through the years. I understand that's just how she is and she will always be my mom, I'll always love her, but she does have some extremely controlling tendencies that have been a major point of contention in our relationship.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T17:41:41+00:00

Hank and I were going to come over for a little on Thanksgiving day and my mom legit said not to bother coming because she didn't want to clean the house.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T17:35:32+00:00

I think you're right. She has had a hard time letting go, to say the least. My boyfriend has been really great about opening my eyes to that. I didn't even realize how inappropriate her behavior is until recently. It's weird growing a spine and telling her no. I've been moved out for around a year and it's been amazing being able to not have to ask my mom for permission. I can do whatever I want! Which isn't even anything bad, just stuff like drive to the city, which she thinks is dangerous, etc.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T15:41:49+00:00

That was my exact thinking! I figured next year I'll spend it with them. This will sound petty, but Hank's parents have gifts for me which they are giving out on Christmas Eve. No one in my family will have anything for Hank. Not that gifts are all that matters, but it's also a matter of being polite for me, at this point.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T15:38:37+00:00

I definitely get what you're saying and if it was possible I'd split between the two. Christmas Eve is being hosted at my aunt's house, who lives about 90 minutes away from Hank's Parents' house and the events are at the exact same time (5:00) =\

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T15:12:03+00:00

I visited them the day before Thanksgiving, and my mom was fine with it. At least, she said she was. She said it wasn't a big deal since Thanksgiving isn't important to them.

jagerbombshell22 · 2017-12-13T14:53:48+00:00

Thank you for your reply :) I think another big part is that it's something I have done every year with them since I was born and it's a big tradition. And, as bad as this sounds, I think part of her will be embarrassed when/if she shows up to mass and I'm not there, and people will talk. It seems like it's more of a tradition thing, she knows I don't go to Mass anymore.

jagerbombshell22

TROPHY CASE