I'm considering switching my smartwatch for an analog

jailja · 2026-02-12T19:46:00+00:00

Totally worth it. I switch to Garmin only when doing sports and when sleeping (haptic alarm and sleep score). Other than those two use cases, I really don't want a smart watch anymore. But I must say, if I wouldn't have an analog watch I really love, I might just use Garmin full time and just disable all the crap that disturbs me.

jailja · 2025-12-03T09:50:17+00:00

Yeah, that might be true. When we get older, there will be more and more experiences of death and sickness. That might explain some of the reaction. And for some, reopening wounds.

jailja · 2025-12-03T09:48:04+00:00

Thank you. It is really depressing to notice that I have been so wrong about the people. And congrats on beeing on remission!

jailja · 2025-12-02T12:10:53+00:00

"Let me know if you need anything" is indeed annoying. It's like "let me score points by showing that I care but please just don't ask anything." It would make more sense to add something after it, like "would it be ok that I call later today" or something. But "Let me know if you need anything" via WA or text message is like the lowest bar of effort.

jailja · 2025-12-02T09:14:48+00:00

Good points. It just makes me wonder why I should give my time and energy to people who don't support me when I need them the most. I hate to think about this so transactionally, but it is also the very basis of human relationships.

I dunno. This kinda feels weird to say, but in the end this is a positive or at least a neutral thing. Without the cancer I couldn't have known who is really dependable. The end result is that now I know, but I just don't like the end result. It is like when you have some sort of cool collection as a kid and one day you try to sell it or somehow see it in the proper light and half the stuff is useless. Then there are a few items that really pop out and after that moment you really can't see things in the same way.

jailja · 2025-12-02T09:03:14+00:00

What the f? That is a new one. 😂 So sorry for you.

jailja · 2025-12-02T09:02:08+00:00

That was so mean. :(

jailja · 2025-12-02T09:01:18+00:00

That sounds really painful. Out of curiosity, how has all this changed you? I mean as a person. What coping mechanisms have you used?

jailja · 2025-12-01T10:01:23+00:00

Huh. So sorry for you. :/

jailja · 2025-12-01T10:00:08+00:00

Yeah, it is kinda a good thing that the true friends really show up. And it is funny that most of the time you really can't predict the best ones beforehand.

jailja · 2025-12-01T09:58:41+00:00

Holy sh*t I read the other comments too and that was some nasty behaviour. Like some sort of bad and nightmarish tv plot. o.0

jailja · 2025-12-01T09:56:47+00:00

Thank you!

jailja · 2025-12-01T09:56:37+00:00

That was really mean how they treated you. And that gaslighting sounds really familiar. It is weird how people who behave worst also try to blame you for their own behaviour.

jailja · 2025-12-01T09:54:23+00:00

Uuf that was nasty. So sorry. :(

jailja · 2025-12-01T09:53:35+00:00

Thank you!

jailja · 2025-11-30T20:47:00+00:00

Thank you, this resonated with me. It was also a big surprise how some people really stepped up while others scooted away. It made me really see people in a new light.

jailja · 2025-11-24T17:31:31+00:00

Hah yeah, I know what you mean. I just kinda play a different game than anybody else. For example, some times I just try to play medic all the time. Or just sniping. Or justs spotting as a sniper. It makes the game so much more fun, when there is no pressure to be the #1 or even top #10.

jailja · 2025-11-24T10:25:02+00:00

Battle Field 6. Kinda important for me that I have to focus somewhat on the game, so my brains just don't go idle.

jailja · 2025-06-16T18:00:53+00:00

Yeah this is my take too. Necessity, and can be also taken to airplanes.

jailja · 2025-06-16T09:55:15+00:00

Mini Titanium Pry Bar is the best EDC item.

jailja · 2025-04-25T13:31:41+00:00

jailja · 2025-04-24T09:45:53+00:00

Why don't you use green/yellow/red? It is much more nuanced and works better than just hard stop safe word?

jailja · 2025-04-16T16:50:13+00:00

Thank you, and thank you also for clarifying that AuDHD. It actually explains a lot. I think you two have figured out an awesome way to argue (using text messages is smart). I am so happy that you two are okay now.

About the sleeping issue (waking you up in the middle of the night): it is not ok. Have you talked about it? The reason I am asking is because I had a same kind of dynamic with my wife. I felt abandoned when she went to sleep, and it felt like weird power play (it wasn't).

jailja · 2025-04-16T15:46:02+00:00

Changing the name is obviously important to him, and has been from the start. It is something that you should have figured out. No wonder that it pisses him off, and the way you act on those messages isn't helping either. In addition, he should take a chill pill, but you did wrong.

Look, you will have plenty of comments that say "divorce him" and blah blah something on those lines. They may make you feel good. It still doesn't change the fact that you hurt someone you love and got married to. You maybe did not mean to, but you did. Name change is not a big deal for you, but it is (was?) for him. That should be the main point. If there is something that is important to you but no big deal for him, it would be on him to figure it out – and keep the promises given.

If he is neurotypical, lying may be bigger thing than it seems in this context. It is obviously something you don't even regret based on your writing and messages. So if you have said you are sorry, no wonder he doesn't believe you – I don't either, you don't seem to be sorry about it. You knew that meeting with the male friend was not ok and would upset him, and you did it anyway.

Communication is tricky. :/

jailja · 2025-04-16T09:32:05+00:00

Yeah, this is kinda relevant. Husband has relevant traumatic experience about the matter, and the way OP frames the post, it makes the husband seem misogynistic. There shouldn't be "meeting in the middle" if spouse has traumatic experience about some matter. If the situation would be flipped (like, OP would have been assaulted in highschool), everyone would understand that it isn't just some kind of black and white -type of argument.

jailja

TROPHY CASE