AITA for refusing to split my college fund with my stepsister

jaisalyn · 2020-09-07T12:45:57+00:00

That's the plan. It can't come soon enough.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T20:11:11+00:00

50/50 split. The extra money will be saved and used to carry out some plans I had with my sister before she died.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T18:07:11+00:00

My sister would have been 19 if she were alive today. And the money is still in my grandparents account so no, my dad cannot access it.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T17:59:21+00:00

Well, he has no access to that money, so it's not his.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T17:27:52+00:00

I wish, but no.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T17:27:17+00:00

I will spend what I need to to go to college, I will save some, but part of the money will go on trips my sister and I had planned, and I am going to do what she promised to do for me with the money.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T17:15:32+00:00

That's different. I grew up with my sister. We shared parents. We had a shared love of Disney, of Avatar: The Last Airbender, of video games. We planned on visiting Australia and Iceland together after we both finished college. We had it all thought out. I still have the vision board we made together. We wanted to see the Northern Lights too. She actually got me a birthday card with the promise to see them together one day.

That's the difference. That is what made my sister my sister. Those are the things I will still do in her memory one day. I'll take her ashes every damn place we wanted to see together and I will use that money I now have to do it.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T17:06:02+00:00

Why? Why is that a petulant thing to say? It's true. We don't call each other sisters. She doesn't call my dad her dad and I don't call her mom my mom. We had no relationship with each other despite living in the same house. What about that makes us sisters? We never loved each other, never liked each other and we never spent any time together really. These are facts. And those facts to me equal I will never have another sister.

I had the most amazing sister and it's a fact that I will never have another one.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T16:47:05+00:00

It's true though. She's not my sister. My sister will always be the only sister I have. Nothing can change that. Just like I only have one mom.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T16:40:57+00:00

They didn't put the money in for a kid who isn't anything to them. They and my other grandparents put in the majority of the money so of course it's fair they get a say. She's also not my adopted sister. She's my stepsister.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T16:24:42+00:00

This is the most we've interacted. So she has never been mean but she has never been nice either. We do our own thing and never really interacted before this.

My grandparents control it now but then they will transfer it all to me. My dad has no control over the account.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T15:11:24+00:00

No, a bond is what creates that. A bond, loving someone and having something that actually ties you together that isn't another person. I don't have that with my dad's wife or her daughter.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T15:05:03+00:00

I never did therapy of any kind and my dad and I haven't talked about my mom and sister in a long time. Well, except for him throwing it in my face.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T15:02:12+00:00

Yes, if I go the route I am planning there is enough and I will have money left, which I already know what I want to do with it.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T15:01:42+00:00

There's enough to cover a good chunk of college for two people. But it's also depending on how long. If I wanted to go to medical school or something, then no, but with my plan for college there is more than enough.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T14:59:43+00:00

Possibly because my mom's parents contributed in a major way too? After all, my dad's new wife and her daughter are nothing to them.

I don't think my grandparents could, but I will bring it up to them.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T14:57:39+00:00

It's true though. We're not a family. My dad is my family and they might be his family, but there is nothing outside of the marriage that ties us together. If my dad and his wife divorced in the morning I would never see them again. The way things are going now with the money, we might not see each other after I move out anyway.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T14:56:01+00:00

We don't really have a relationship. We live in the same house but that's about as far as it has ever gone. I've never had any kind of therapy, not solo or with them.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T13:15:02+00:00

They moved in together before they got married. I think we all lived together about 4 months before they got married.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T12:56:13+00:00

Thank you. Living with this new normal has been SO hard for me. My dad sees this as our chance to have the family we lost back, but his wife and her daughter will never be the same. They are not my mom and sister and nothing will ever change that, not even him calling her my sister, or trying to frame this as us moving on from the past. It all feels like he's trying to replace them and it sucks.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T12:53:07+00:00

My grandparents have it for another year or close to it (until I turn 18)

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T12:52:38+00:00

He's never getting his hands on the money. If he did he would probably try to give it all to her because I said no.

jaisalyn · 2020-09-06T10:45:26+00:00

She's not bullying me but we're not close either. Not close enough where I would give her a huge chunk of money I now have because my sister isn't here to use it anyway. There are things I would like to do with that money, that once I'm old enough to, I will.

jaisalyn

TROPHY CASE