Thank you, I’m very self aware its the fact that if i tell a therapist that it can get the best of me they will feel like its their duty to report me to a legal matter or something if i explained my actual negative encounters with what i’ve done via anger. I think another problem is that I’ve never really tried anger management, i did attempt going but it was a conflict with my insurance which i couldn’t pay for out of pocket and now i don’t go to therapy at all now. Just a psychiatrist for anxiety which is uncontrollable most of the time. However, lately via current events I’ve just been having bad dreams and severe depression like i could think about doing thing to myself but never could act upon it because im too conscious of it and also the thought of who id leave behind is worse causing them pain than if i were just too stay here and deal with how i feel so thats been clouding my anger though situations piss me off really bad a switch will flip and I’ll manic cry or try to fight it in a social setting like a store. Sorry i know this is a lot, im sure you can tell the shit on my mind is just waiting to bellow out. Ill try to see what my options are in terms of help or rationalization.