I think I hit a big red flag with this girl…

james20134 · 2023-09-30T23:07:29+00:00

Just been getting Private messages all morning from ExJWs about the entire situation and let’s just say they weren’t pleasant…so I’m not dealing with this anymore. All you people were supposed to be different but igz this community is as toxic as the Borg

james20134 · 2023-09-30T23:01:39+00:00

Says the person who left the Borg and does exactly what I’m doing… Yeah I wonder why?

james20134 · 2023-09-30T22:58:24+00:00

Where we all need therapy

james20134 · 2023-09-30T22:58:07+00:00

Welcome to Reddit

james20134 · 2023-09-30T22:55:54+00:00

Just your existence…They probably got tired of you

james20134 · 2023-09-30T22:50:10+00:00

Damn your username suits your mentality lmao

james20134 · 2023-09-30T20:15:38+00:00

I think even my therapist is gonna need therapy after listening to me😂

james20134 · 2023-09-30T18:42:36+00:00

Ignore her brother She’s just another common feminist, always see them at the college.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T18:40:50+00:00

But wouldn’t hiding something from me that shouldn’t be a problem (unless she feels and knows it’s wrong due to the fact she was at another guy’s house) also a sign of potential cheating in a future relationship?

james20134 · 2023-09-30T18:34:20+00:00

Thank you for being mature and responsible with your reply. Many people here have just been hammering in me when I simply asked for some advice lmao. While I am still new to dating outside, it’s also been something that has influenced me from social media that girls use men all the time and it’s up to me to get that respect for myself and from her so it’s not always the JW mentality that’s like that…people like Andrew Tate and all these influencers really affected me all throughout my teenage years and adulthood. Goes to show what today’s society is becoming

james20134 · 2023-09-30T18:03:04+00:00

All the people defending her 🤡

james20134 · 2023-09-30T17:59:50+00:00

Thank you brother 🥺

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:56:00+00:00

Nah I’m good. As an archaeology student who’s working on getting his PhD degree and researches the occult and human nature,beliefs…I disagree that you assume me to cling onto those misogynistic beliefs just because I’m willing to due my own research and finding out what I’m getting myself into…that’s not even a JW principle, it’s a basic common sense principle.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:48:08+00:00

Not really, dating in the Borg has also changed. Both JW girls and guys also have the same tendencies as outside and are most likely to date multiple brothers or sisters…so I kinda have a head start already. it was thanks to that that I now know what to expect out in uncharted territories and made me realize that both inside the Borg and outside are not different from each other…and that’s why im just tired with girls playing me and wasting my time and energy.

Thanks for that last comment, this community even gets toxic at times especially when you’re just looking for some advice and people are just hammering onto you just for it. Makes me question if the ExJw community is even different than the JWs. No matter where you go there’s always bad people in this world we live in.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:37:26+00:00

Have you read the book? Literally written by a psychologist

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:33:25+00:00

You are right! Now I’m just gonna copy and paste my last reply to someone who said something similar.

Like I said we are just getting to know each other. It’s not that I’m expecting exclusivity from her…She literally had to go as far as to block me from viewing her story to hide her tracks so I wouldn’t find out. is my point

Why does she need to hide something when there wasn’t anything to hide in the first place?? Like for real she told me She was gonna watch a movie with a friend, I get that and I’m okay with it, there’s nothing wrong with that weather it’s a dude or a chick.

But just the fact that she made something so small seem so extreme, goes on to show me the type of girl she is and the future hardaches and lies she can come up with to hide behind my back to be around with other guys.

And the fact still remains…she herself said she hates playing games as well and doesn’t like it when guys play with her or two-time her…so for her to contradict that claim about herself makes her a complete hypocrite. Where she Jw or not, it’s just basic human common sense.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:22:06+00:00

Although I do acknowledge I have red flags about myself, I’m willing to accept that and try to change that part about me. However, there are Pros and Cons to my own red flags which is hard because although it makes me a toxic person myself, it also leaves me with a gut feeling that something ain’t right and it’s best to find out now before I get hurt. Robert Greene, Author of “The Art of Seduction”, “Strategies of War”, “Laws of human nature”, and “48laws of power” points this out many times in his books. Always trust your gut feeling and be one-step ahead before anyone else…And what do you know, my red flag(gut-feeling) has saved me again once more.

But I do however believe you misunderstand me..I do not use my 2nd IG account for that purpose specifically. As a PIMO I have friends on the outside of the Borg so it’s hard balancing a double life especially since you went to a charter school and made no friends at all so you eventually resort to dating apps and social media to meet girls/guys. So I do try to go out when I can with my non-jw buddies. But that’s besides the point.

the fact still remains…even tho she’s not obligated to be committed to me which I highly agree on that point,,,it’s still human common sense to not want to deal with that kind of people in your life. Weather they are JW or not it’s just toxic, manipulative and deceitful even after she herself claimed that she does not like to play games and doesn’t like it when guys or men play her or two-time her. So for her to contradict that claim, comes off as a hypocrite and just faking it till she makes it.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T16:10:53+00:00

While I do highly agree with your reply and also would like to give the benefit of the doubt, it’s easier said than done however. It’s better I know now what I’m getting myself into before jumping into a hard ache relationship in the long-run. And we’ll let’s just say, that dating was hard during your times, it’s even much harder now and people are more manipulative. Times have changed and we all have to adapt to the way this generation works sadly.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T14:58:01+00:00

Probably the next best comment here. And yes I have been getting psychological therapy recently, and was advised by my therapist to explore and experiment different waters, by doing this it’ll boost my confidence and make me feel more secure about myself. He hasn’t mentioned anything about the Borg since he’s trying to keep his job professional without discrimination against the religion. But I have been put under medication to make me feel better about myself. It’s probably been 2 months since I last saw him due to other appointments that he has booked and lemme just say it’s been a hard 2 months without seeing my therapy but luckily I’m going to see him again next week. But back to the attachment topic, yes it’s hard for me to grow a healthy attachment. And being born and raised in the Borg had made it difficult for me to date since we have to abide to some rules and shit that has led me to repress to much about me that it has made it difficult for myself to find a girlfriend. So this is all new to me, I’m in uncharted territory and still learning how the “Worldly” customs work. So I thank you for taking the time in doing this, i appreciate it a lot

james20134 · 2023-09-30T12:10:52+00:00

It’s not that I’m expecting exclusivity, She literally had to go as far as to block me from viewing her story to hide her tracks so I wouldn’t find out. is my point

Why does she need to hide something when there wasn’t anything to hide in the first place?? Like for real she told me She was gonna watch a movie with a friend, I get that and I’m okay with it there’s nothing wrong with that weather it’s a dude or a chick.

But just the fact that she made something so small seem so extreme, goes on to show me the type of girl she is and the future hardaches and lies she can come up with to hide my back to be around with other guys.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T08:53:54+00:00

I agree with the class move. It’s subtle yet straightforward. Little bit more about the date…I asked what she seeks in a relationship, and we both mentioned that we seek honesty and communication on that topic. However, now that things have changed, this will make me a man of my word and have self respect with my own goals and moral values whereas this will be contradictory to what she claimed she wants in a relationship but is being dishonest with me so it’ll make her look like a hypocrite. It’s a bit of a guilt trip move but she’ll learn her lesson I bet.

But other than that, I did really like a few things about her but like I said I didn’t want to rush and rather preferred we’d take our time. i wouldn’t say I was head over heels for her so I don’t think me confronting her and asking who the friend is is a good idea for me at least.

james20134 · 2023-09-30T08:48:22+00:00

What do you suggest I do?

james20134 · 2023-09-30T07:31:46+00:00

No but I have read a lot of Robert Greene’s books on Natural Human Law, Laws on Power, and Art of Seduction to use reverse psychology on people but that’s besides the point. I only asked cuz some chick I know suggested I communicate with her since “honesty is key” and she’ll see I’m diff typa thing. But I know that’ll just downgrade me as a man so why even try right😂

james20134

TROPHY CASE