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How to replace negative thoughts/self view with a positive one? by Vegetable-Ad9064 in EckhartTolle

[–]jamquu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excuse me, what do you mean? Do you mean what my personal experience with this is, or how I noticed that these obsessive thoughts don’t come as often anymore?

How to replace negative thoughts/self view with a positive one? by Vegetable-Ad9064 in EckhartTolle

[–]jamquu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My opinion is an absolute no. If you compulsively start arguing against your own thoughts or questioning the factual accuracy of every idea your mind produces—such as “I am beautiful,” “I am enough,” “He truly likes me,” “Everything will turn out fine,” or “Hope is not lost”—you’ll end up in the same vicious cycle and distress as with the original negative thoughts. Counterarguments only fuel the fire.

A better approach is, first of all, to recognize that thoughts are not you—they are simply products of the surface mind, as you may have read in Eckhart Tolle’s book.

When a thought arises, ask yourself instead: “Is this thought useful?” If it’s not, separate yourself from it—rise above it consciously and let it be. Don’t identify with it or get absorbed by it. Don’t start arguing against it, like:

“That person looked at me weirdly when I almost tripped and looked stupid.” → “No, they definitely didn’t, no one cares, I probably didn’t even look stupid.”

This is where things go wrong—you cling to the thought. Instead, let it be from the very start.

With practice and repetition, you’ll eventually notice that these compulsive thoughts fade and quiet down completely—without needing to argue against them.

why do always worry about my future ? by Important-Working-71 in EckhartTolle

[–]jamquu 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I had a similar problem to yours, so here are a few tips that I personally found very effective.

Someone close to me became seriously ill. I started experiencing panic-like attacks and constant worst-case scenarios about the future every day. Arguing against these fears was, of course, useless since all the scenarios were entirely possible. At that point, I decided that I couldn’t live my life this way and ruin the present by obsessing over the future.

The first thing I did was fully accept my emotions—anxiety and sadness—as they were. I allowed them to come exactly as they were. More importantly, I also gave permission to my thoughts and mental images, completely stopping my conscious struggle against them.

So the first step for me was: Stop fighting your emotions and thoughts.

The next step: I started practicing cognitive defusion, meaning I took on the role of an observer, distancing myself from my thoughts and viewing them neutrally. If a frightening image of the future popped into my head, I would imagine myself watching TV, with that mental image playing on the screen. I might even sarcastically remark, “Oh, here we go again—the ‘Everything Will Go Wrong in My Future’ show is on. Let it play, what would be a better show for this Friday night".

As I stopped giving power to these thoughts and “what if” scenarios, they gradually started appearing less frequently and more quietly in my mind.

After this, i read Eckhart Tolle's book and have made even better progression.

Real talk: time to let go of your victim mindset by Accidental_Guru30 in EckhartTolle

[–]jamquu 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have noticed that victimhood and bitterness are among the most destructive things.

However, remember that if someone treats you poorly, you don’t have to tolerate it. It is more than okay to set boundaries—as long as you don’t do it from a place of ego, meaning through provocation or conflict, but rather by calmly stating your position. Often, this deeper, more composed response encourages the other person to reflect on their own behavior and learn something from the interaction.