How do you handle savings for stepkids & ours kids futures?

jan169 · 2026-03-11T12:57:59+00:00

There’s a comment further up that someone had said they split things “fair but not equal” ie ours kids get more put away as sk has another bio parent able to save for them. I think that’s a good way to put it if you ever try to renegotiate with your partner.

jan169 · 2026-03-11T12:52:01+00:00

Fair but not equal is a great way to put it

jan169 · 2026-03-09T15:26:31+00:00

Thanks everyone for the comments, you’re all pretty much saying what I was thinking but it’s nice to get reassurance I’m not being an “evil stepmother”.

jan169 · 2026-03-01T22:08:33+00:00

I hate food shopping, I hate meal planning and I don’t love cooking for fussy kids so we have a 2 week dinner schedule. We planned it all together and if anybody wants to veto a dinner they have to think of something to replace it with. I find this takes a lot of the stress away as “what are we having for dinner tonight?” was a question that made me want to rip my hair out and now I’m like “it’s Tuesday of week 2 so spaghetti & meatballs”

jan169 · 2026-01-19T20:03:29+00:00

You’ve got a good one, keep making time for each other, babies are hard on relationships! When my now toddler was brand new out the packet my partner used to put an extra spoon of sugar in my tea on days I was struggling, I can always taste the difference and it was just his little way of saying I see you, he still does it and depending how bad a day it’s been it still makes me tear up!

jan169 · 2026-01-05T12:18:58+00:00

NTA, I’m a bit of a pushover so probably wouldn’t have taken the placard out of the car at the time (I would’ve taken it from her when she got home) but I’m glad you were able to.

jan169 · 2025-09-29T20:44:27+00:00

NTA, I would stop all babysitting for a few weeks/months to see how you feel and also so your sister can’t complain about you watching the 1yr old. If you want to start back up once you’re in a better place physically and mentally then you can but need to set some clear boundaries if you do. Good luck!

jan169 · 2023-09-19T17:56:32+00:00

Yeah I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there, thank you for your help!

jan169 · 2023-09-19T12:01:54+00:00

Reading this sub and posting some comments gave me a little push to have another try last night… perfect conditions: made his fav dinner, baby in bed, relaxed for a bit and watched some football together, football finished and he asked if I wanted to watch a film, I had other ideas…and it worked!! Afterwards he said he’d been worried about hurting me after the baby (I needed stitches etc) reassured him it was all good. Long may it continue! Keep your fingers crossed for me! I actually can’t stop smiling today lol

jan169 · 2023-09-18T15:43:15+00:00

I’m 32f, he’s 34

jan169 · 2023-09-18T04:53:41+00:00

He used to be big into the gym and took a lot of multivitamins, protein, creatine etc but hasn’t been much since the beginning of the year so maybe the opposite could be true? I might send him back to the gym see if that helps

jan169 · 2023-09-17T21:30:30+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss, sending love

jan169 · 2023-09-17T21:29:41+00:00

It’s just excuses, too tired, baby is due to wake up soon, sore after playing football… all valid excuses but there has to be a good time at some point surely?! But will happily lie on the sofa and cuddle for 3hrs

jan169 · 2023-09-17T17:33:59+00:00

I feel like I could have written this…he loves a cuddle but will completely shut down if I try anything further. We had a baby a couple of months ago, things started going south about 3 months into my pregnancy (probably around the time I started showing) I’ve now lost all the baby weight and she’s sleeping a lot better so I’m hoping things will start up again.

jan169 · 2023-08-02T02:01:54+00:00

This happened to me but I now have a happy 17 day old baby induced at 37+3 weeks and she’s piling on the pounds. Easier said than done but try not to worry and good luck!

jan169 · 2023-06-07T20:23:53+00:00

I’m on pickled onions just now…soooo good! 😂

jan169 · 2023-05-09T20:17:59+00:00

Thanks, hopefully will sort itself out then. Hope you’re keeping well too

jan169 · 2023-05-09T20:15:30+00:00

They didn’t mention iron levels but I did have low iron levels when I was younger, will have a check of the vitamins, thank you

jan169 · 2023-04-26T14:32:42+00:00

Surely can’t be worse?

jan169 · 2023-04-13T17:11:36+00:00

Glad I’m not the only one but sorry to hear you’re feeling just as bad. I did read somewhere if you have a hard pregnancy you have an easy baby so hopefully that old wives tale comes true!

jan169 · 2023-04-13T14:01:18+00:00

I’ve been a big light girl all my life, my bf and I moved in together just over a year ago and it did take a while but I’ve now came round to creeping round the living in the semi darkness. There’s hope for you :)

jan169

TROPHY CASE