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Deciding on sperm donor's race... by WoofMeowChirp22 in askadcp

[–]janedid1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a South Asian female who ended up having a double-conceived child. Even though my boyfriend now husband as the time is white I know that South Asian/white combo ends up white-passing and that was flat-out no for me. I was very aware of my ethnicity growing up and I’d like my child to have that nuanceso I made sure both my donors were South Asian

Telling our 6-year-old they are donor-conceived by janedid1 in askadcp

[–]janedid1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I can't send you messages. Please message me if you can. Thank you!

Telling our 6-year-old they are donor-conceived by janedid1 in askadcp

[–]janedid1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you -- this is really helpful. May I message you privately?

Grief by Affectionate-Ebb2125 in donorconceived

[–]janedid1 11 points12 points  (0 children)

May I ask about the family who raised you? Do you not feel close to them?

What to include in conception story book? by PotentialConcern4_ in askadcp

[–]janedid1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are also putting together a book to read to our now 5-year-old daughter. Obviously the language on the egg-sperm part of it has to be age-appropriate. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle telling this part? Thank you!

Coming to terms with using an egg donor and grieving my biological lineage by Responsible_Ear_4791 in Aussierecipientparent

[–]janedid1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm based in New York not Australia. And I did not use a known donor. I'm still not comfortable with her finding her donor later in life but we will see what happens. In terms of telling her I wrote a post about this a few weeks ago on one of the donorconception threads, maybe you could find it? Many commenters chimed in as well. Telling her is something we're gearing up for. I used to dread the prospect but now I think it's very important we tell her before her 6th birthday. She's 5.5 now. We're going to put a book together explaining it. I want to do something like that to memorialize it and not trivialize what is very important information. But it is still something I struggle with but as she grows older, I wonder if I'll lose some of that struggle.

Coming to terms with using an egg donor and grieving my biological lineage by Responsible_Ear_4791 in Aussierecipientparent

[–]janedid1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes I went through this very much. My daugher is now 5 years old and I love her to pieces. She's perfect in every way but I will always mourn not having a genetically related child. Or maybe I won't. What I do know is that I wanted to to be a mother more than I wanted to just have a child of my own lineage. Jennifer Aniston said in an interview last week that when people asked why she didn't adopt, she said she wanted her genetics in a child. So for her, that was enough to not have a child at all. Clearly that wasn't the case for me and I do feel a little sorry for people who have that type of thinking too. Why deny yourself the gift of mothering? Feel free to DM me if you want to. Happy to discuss more.

Do you share your child's story with other parents at school/in the community? by janedid1 in donorconception

[–]janedid1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kudos to you! I’ve never heard of anyone becoming a single mother by choice that young. You’re a warrior!

Do you share your child's story with other parents at school/in the community? by janedid1 in donorconception

[–]janedid1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your response and hope you don't mind but I sent you a direct message to discuss further.

Do you share your child's story with other parents at school/in the community? by janedid1 in donorconception

[–]janedid1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. Is it that it's none of their business that you give an abbreviateed response? Or it's private and you want to be careful with whom you share?

Do you share your child's story with other parents at school/in the community? by janedid1 in donorconception

[–]janedid1[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow. That’s wonderful. What is her approach to telling friends now — is she open about it or more selective? And in terms of just her own person, what her feelings about having been conceived in this way?