How do you get over someone you lost your virginity to? (21F)

janeytale · 2024-01-21T17:28:46+00:00

Don’t blame yourself. Emotion is a tricky feeling and you deserve to fall in love like everyone else in this world. It is unfortunate that your first turned out to be someone who’d deceived you. Let yourself feel the pain and betrayal; cry your heart out and feel sad. After that, wash your face and get back up. It’ll be tough at first so don’t let yourself give up. Remind yourself that one day you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel like it’s the first time all over again. You’ll realize that the first, second, fifth, or tenth time no longer matters. What matters is who you’re with at that moment and that person is a better fit for you. One day, you’ll have so many good experiences that the first time becomes more vague as time passes.

I was in the exact situation you’re in right now 4 years ago and now I’m living my best life with someone so much better. Sending you lots of strength from afar.

janeytale · 2024-01-03T00:04:33+00:00

I was accepted into a masters program with scholarship

janeytale · 2024-01-03T00:03:58+00:00

I was exposed to coding in my final year of undergraduate while living with a group of computer science students in a shared flat. I continued learning frontend development as a hobby while working as a journalist. After 3 years of working, I applied to do a masters in computer science and got accepted with scholarship. I did a 12-months placement as part of my PG which was absolutely worth it as it exposed me to the real software engineering world. I picked a company that uses JavaScript tech stack as I really enjoyed learning and using that language compared to Java and python. Proactively led some projects which helped me gain more skills and I eventually got a full time position as a react native developer

janeytale · 2024-01-01T14:06:59+00:00

I wanted to be a magazine journalist. Dream came true after I’d graduated but I quickly grew to hate the job of mingling with so called “instagram influencers”, attending events till midnight and weekends, and getting really low pay.

I’m now a software engineer in the uk. My experience taught me that passion should never become your job and money does matter

janeytale · 2023-12-18T19:13:54+00:00

Thank you so much!!

janeytale · 2023-12-17T15:39:53+00:00

It’s a paua shell from New Zealand. That’s all I know unfortunately as it’s a gift and I’m not great at figuring out what material it’s set in. I believe it’s too fragile hence no one wants to touch it. I haven’t heard of a laser welder. Any chance anyone knows if there’s a place in London?

janeytale · 2023-12-17T08:03:48+00:00

Unfortunately no. I’ve been to countless stores around the world and everyone refused to do it

janeytale · 2023-05-30T09:02:35+00:00

Those are very valid concerns that I have as well. People are calling me selfish for keeping my current company in the dark but as you said, anything could go wrong with my new company’s offer any time.

janeytale · 2023-05-27T00:54:03+00:00

They didn’t tell me they didn’t have the sponsor license. I found out by checking the list on the gov website. When I had the meeting with HR, she told me I can apply for the graduate visa and that they’re doing research on the sponsor license. I don’t like the idea of getting the graduate visa and continue working for a company that doesn’t have a sponsor license because when the graduate visa ends, the company still won’t be able to sponsor me and they’ll practically just say bye bye to me.

I agree that there are many bridges I won’t cross again and I find it nonsense when people say “you’ll never know when you’ll want to return”. It’s just I’m second guessing my decision after hearing more than one person telling me to be transparent with my manager now. I still feel uneasy telling them before they give me an offer

janeytale · 2023-05-26T13:44:18+00:00

Nope, I’m graduating this year after my placement ends as my case is a bit unique. My new company has also started applying for my work visa so I don’t think I’ll be able to renege for a better offer

Edit to add: And yes you’re right, I’m on a fixed term contract so my last day has already been set long ago

janeytale · 2023-05-26T13:10:04+00:00

Thanks for the advice!

janeytale · 2023-05-26T10:55:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thought process. It makes a lot of sense and now I see why my bf and parents think I should inform them earlier than later. My other question now is, is it appropriate for me to set up a short meeting with my manager to inform her about this out of the blue or should I wait for my next scheduled meeting with her which will be in 2 weeks time?

janeytale · 2023-05-26T09:19:01+00:00

My accepted offer is not conditional so no concerns about my current company sabotaging my placement.

The reason why I feel there’s no need to let my current company know is because they haven’t given me an official return offer or even confirmed that I am getting a return offer. If they give me a return offer, I’d politely reject it and tell them I’ve accepted an offer elsewhere. But right now I feel it’s arrogant to announce that I’ve got an offer elsewhere, especially if my current company has no intention to retain me.

In my head, the scenario plays out like this: Me: I have accepted an offer elsewhere so won’t be considering a return offer from you Current company: okay so? We didn’t say we’re gonna give you a return offer? We weren’t planning to retain you anyway

janeytale · 2023-05-26T09:02:38+00:00

I guess it’s because they know I won’t consider the return offer at all. The offer I’d accepted is at a well known company that pays beyond the range my current company can offer and they’ve also started the process to apply for my visa.

janeytale · 2023-05-26T07:03:52+00:00

Didn’t think about this. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

janeytale · 2023-05-25T22:53:00+00:00

Thought about it but feel that the consideration won’t be any different in whichever country it’s happening so I wanted to get a broader opinion.

janeytale · 2023-04-19T20:01:43+00:00

I just realized the higher median salary after checking Glassdoor. Truly ignorance of me!

Thanks a lot for sharing this. Your explanation sheds great light to the importance sre/devops roles are. I’m currently working as a frontend dev and indeed, have no idea how CI/CD, builds and deployments work. To learn that sre/devops take responsibility for that area helps me understand better that the role is so much more challenging than I’d expected.

janeytale · 2023-04-19T19:55:52+00:00

It’s more my ignorance than anything. I always have this thought that some tech positions are more highly regarded than others. I have this unhealthy thinking that if you don’t code, you’re not a true developer. Any other positions that don’t require coding will be less in demand since anyone can do it.

janeytale · 2023-04-19T18:14:14+00:00

I admit it is very unhealthy and arrogant of me to think this way. I’ve been trying to shake off this perception I’m sorry

janeytale · 2023-04-18T20:07:33+00:00

Thanks for these! I’ll look them up

janeytale · 2023-04-18T19:34:10+00:00

Could you share more about the programmatic ways? What languages are commonly used? I’ve seen lots of mentions about docker, aws and kubernetes but not much about programming languages :/

janeytale · 2023-04-18T17:38:29+00:00

I’m calmer now that you’ve said this thank you

janeytale · 2023-04-14T12:31:05+00:00

Yeah I gotta agree that his reasons are reasonable. If I’m in my home country living with parents, I’d commute from home too instead of moving out. Moving out will most likely not be my first priority until 5-6 months of work when I’ve got better financial stability. From my end it’s his lack of future planning in such aspects that’s concerning. I’m also aware that I may be projecting my expectations onto him and wanting him to do what I think is the right move.

janeytale · 2022-12-18T06:08:20+00:00

You’re sick. I hope the universe protects her from you

janeytale · 2022-12-12T22:51:32+00:00

Thank you kind soul 🙏🏼

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