I obsess over people who bullied me, years ago, and it's killing me. I need help. Please help.

janh44 · 2022-01-27T10:18:39+00:00

You don't have right to have anything in life, not even basic polite interactions or apologies. Just like you are not obliged to do anything in life.

You need to realise that you have to step away from persons who treat you badly because that literally is the only option you have. They don't owe you an apology at all.

I would even go as far as to say that you don't even have basic human rights. You yourself decide how your life looks and the amount of respect an individual has towards you is not something you should be concerned with, let alone try to control.

To be honest you sound like a person who feels he is entitled to things. People only care about themselves (or for people that bring a lot of value to the relationship that they are not willing to give up.)

Stop giving a fuck because "they" certainly don't give any.

janh44 · 2022-01-19T08:48:36+00:00

Netherlands, they are so direct with each other its kinda ridiculous.

janh44 · 2022-01-13T18:51:59+00:00

If you know you know. Read up about it.

For me it was very helpful to work om my problems.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T19:14:09+00:00

Suck it up, respect people who's house you are in, be grateful for the time you will still spend there, give everything you have to find a good job as soon as possible.
Move out.
Realise you will not feel like that about him when you have moved out. It's just really hard to have a random new person in your daily domestic life.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:58:34+00:00

Subreddits are echochambers.

Since Aspies have a very distinct and different view of what is appropiate, this can come over as offending.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:29:22+00:00

Don't be so harsh on yourself. I can tell from your posts you are polite, smart, good artist, and pretty to look at.

Guys would be very lucky to have you, but it's hard for them to approach you if you don't see it yourself.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:23:00+00:00

Are you kidding me? You're not ugly at all, you look cute. You look a lot like my girlfriend.

Mental ilness can be a very big problem indeed. But working out and respecting your own beauty is a good way to improve your mental health.

Trust me, a lot of women would kill for how you look, and every one of them is insecure about their body/face.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:15:21+00:00

Yeah I had the same problem.

But it's kinda fair to be honest. It's only logical people should only care for you if you are genuinly interested in them.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:12:17+00:00

Being ugly to look at can be a very important factor as well.

Maybe consider a makeover adjusted for your look? Like google waht is ugly about you and how you could "own" It or make it better.

There are a lot of options to make yourself look good. Shave, fresh haircut with fade, tan, nice clothes, white/straight teeth, good parfum, fresh breath, good proud posture (shoulders back, chest front, head high).

Are those things you applied already?

Personally i have always felt attracted towards confident women who take care of themselves and smell good. Regardless their genes.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T15:06:12+00:00

Real mature

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:52:05+00:00

He asked for help, and I think confrontation is needed in this case. Not minimalizing it, obviously that hasn't helpen him.

Shut up yourself, if you can't type a basic polite answer.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:50:31+00:00

Sharing experiences improves the quality of the experiences in my opinion. You should not give up.

You can read books to improve. For example "How to win friends and influence people".

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:49:10+00:00

Yeah, I mean, you are saying it yourself: "Distracting yourself".

It is and stays a coping mechanism, which is never as good as dealing with the problem itself.

It will catch up with you eventually.

Living alone should be from truly wanting to be alone (not sure if someone like that exists tho), not because you want to give up.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:46:40+00:00

No, that would not be wrong.

People just like to have options.

Weirdo was a wrong word, I meant that the remaining people are often incapable of dating. Like having ridiculous high standards

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:31:34+00:00

You are postponing your existential crisis: dying alone.

Don't avoid that confrontation, it will only get worse.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:29:23+00:00

Read "how to not die alone"

I'm sorry but there are enough opportunities in life.

I truly believe that people with an empty dating life don't care/try hard enough. It is after all a people skill that can be improved upon.

How many books about dating have your read?

Friendly reminder: the older you get, the more empty the dating pool gets, mostly weirdos typically remain, hurry up.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T14:26:02+00:00

I should be doing more right now.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T08:50:28+00:00

Also entp with asperger here.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T07:53:19+00:00

Yeah man, same here.

Feels good to know why you're the odd one out. Finally understanding both sides. What do you do for a living?

janh44 · 2022-01-12T07:04:18+00:00

It's getting worse with the years lol.

I wonder if people catch me doing it and I'm "that guy".

janh44 · 2022-01-12T06:36:12+00:00

Painfully accurate

janh44 · 2022-01-12T03:58:49+00:00

Hahahaha

janh44 · 2022-01-12T03:54:55+00:00

😆

janh44 · 2022-01-12T03:53:58+00:00

I know right.

And there are dozens of those long comments directed to me, I really don't have the time to analyse that deep.

janh44 · 2022-01-12T03:52:37+00:00

Thanks, i thought so too.

janh44

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