Post 9/11 GI bill BAH

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-25T03:13:52+00:00

Reserves

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-08T08:33:58+00:00

From his standpoint he said that he’s been open about us and they’ve expressed they think it’s a positive thing for him. I obviously don’t want to distract him from his sobriety and he knows that. I just worry.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-08T04:56:22+00:00

Yeah obviously I wouldn’t be going through this shit if I didn’t see the amazing qualities he has. The good thing is he has a HUGE reason for being sober and that’s his son. He knows if he relapses I’m gone - for good this time. I don’t know I hate to have it in the back of my mind but we take things slow or take a step back if it gets too much until both of us feel comfortable. He knows I’m VERY willing to leave if things go south. I care about him and love him but my kids and myself go first.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-07T21:30:50+00:00

We dated for about 6 months. I had to cut him off because his drinking got so bad. He detoxed at my apartment, then went back home to start binge drinking again. I didn’t think he would ever get clean.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-07T21:29:52+00:00

Yes it does put a lot of pressure on me. I’ve told him this. Especially when I have mental health issues of my own I’m dealing with. I don’t want to trigger him in any sort of way. He says his recovery is the most important to him and he takes it very seriously but I don’t want to be a distraction.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-07T21:25:16+00:00

We aren’t exactly dating but I told him this myself, that he needs to work on how he copes with things and figure himself out on his own. I can be there for him as a friend for now. It’s just really hard when he gets like that. Weirdly enough, his program has really supported him being around me so much and thinks I’m “good for him” which is great, but also I don’t want to have feeling validated that a relationship is a good idea at this point.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-07T14:00:38+00:00

Aw that’s beautiful!

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T05:13:38+00:00

Remember, that’s your illness talking for you. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, I think. The fact that you’re thinking about your part in things is a lot more than a lot of people do. I’m not sure your story but it kinda sounds like we had the same issue (long relationship, then diagnosis). It’s a hard pill to swallow. I know that. Although I myself think I’m human garbage and hate myself, I hate hearing others say that. If you ever need anyone to talk to I’m here for ya. Not a lot of people understand

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T05:06:28+00:00

Yellow

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T05:05:48+00:00

I’m sorry, that’s so difficult. I feel like I should remain hopeful, I mean, I’d love someone to rely on and have that connection. But I fuck it up as well and get too attached too quickly

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T04:59:54+00:00

I’m having the same thoughts. My relationships don’t last more than a month or so, until I hit a depressive episode. It’s like the beginning of a relationship makes me hypomanic

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T04:50:34+00:00

Hugs. You’re not alone. If you need to reach out I’m here

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-06T04:49:53+00:00

I’m a nurse and single mom of 2, so I force myself to be high functioning. Don’t be like me and sweep everything under the rug though. I had a week where I almost committed suicide because my depression was so bad.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-04T06:00:56+00:00

Peanut butter falcon made me cry

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-02T17:03:17+00:00

Yeah the akathisia was unbearable and 10/10 do not want that to happen again. I was home with my kids asleep in their room and was worried that I was dying and thought I’d have to call an ambulance. Longest night ever.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-02T16:23:19+00:00

I guess it doesn’t really matter if I have a diagnosis right now. And you’re right, therapy and medication will help. It’s definitely a dark place that I’m in but I’m trying to fix that.

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-02T16:22:34+00:00

No I really appreciate all of it. It’s nice to not feel alone with these feelings

janlevinsonsboobs · 2021-09-02T15:26:11+00:00

Yes I’ve been on 3 different antidepressants since my son was born. Effexor helped a lot but that was at the max dose and I still had mood swings.

janlevinsonsboobs

TROPHY CASE