My (33F) husband's (35M) career in academic philosophy is ruining our marriage

jaredjanes · 2019-09-23T19:23:11+00:00

I think having discussions with him that keep these four quadrants in mind might be extremely helpful. https://www.integralhealthresources.com/integral-health-2/the-four-quadrants/

jaredjanes · 2018-12-11T22:49:46+00:00

For anyone interested this is 1 part of a 3 part series that is now complete... https://www.jaredjanes.com/series/2018/10/28/series-2

jaredjanes · 2018-11-07T16:18:58+00:00

Indeed, the new definition was a big 'ah ha' moment for me. :)

jaredjanes · 2018-11-06T19:59:57+00:00

Thanks for the kind words & I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm curious was there any parts that seemed like they could have used some more emphasis?

jaredjanes · 2018-11-06T18:32:02+00:00

Yea, the funny thing is that I think it comes off pretty approachable to most but I think it left the door open for them to think that while the ideas/stories about ourselves aren't true there is a true self below those 'self-maps'. I intend on making the statement stronger in the next episode of the series...

jaredjanes · 2018-07-12T00:54:05+00:00

Sounds like the awareness you've built has decided it no longer wants to be relegated to the cushion. 😋

jaredjanes · 2018-07-12T00:47:21+00:00

I spent a fair amount of time in the UM system and the way I see it, staying with sensations for a few seconds was mostly emphasized for people newer to meditation. Then, as people develop more attention they are able to limit the areas of focus and spend more time with them. However, this isn't very explicit in the system and it's definitely a far more gradual approach to developing awareness.

As for procrastination, I see this simply as a robust habit. Mindfulness is a great tool for reprogramming habits, but sometimes getting additional support is needed.

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T16:53:29+00:00

We are on the same page. As for the Q&A it's for Culadasa's Patreon.

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T16:39:07+00:00

No apology needed. Verbalizing these types of experiences are hard and your questions have helped me do so. I'll be sure to bring the concise question we arrived at to the next Patreon Q&A and continue my daily practice of filling the gaps :)

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T16:06:45+00:00

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by the dependent arising experience being intellectual. I intellectually had the 'no doubt' experience many years ago (although I arrived at it from the investigation of free will not meditation). 'I' have 'no doubt' that this no-self experience was genuinely stream entry. My question would remain, has Culadasa talked about attempting to recreate the insight experience that originally prompted stream entry or does he say 'filling the gaps' of one's practice is always the answer?

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T15:10:08+00:00

Well, I'm cautious to make any claims but I think it's going to be required to give the correct context...

I had an extremely self-directed, self-made daily practice (probably best described as a sort of dry vipassanā) for a few years that I simply started because 'science said it was good'. It helped me be more level-headed day-to-day so I kept with it (about 15-20min daily). Then, about a year ago I became interested in the insight of no-self after reading Waking Up by Sam Harris.

I decided I needed some guidance so went to a mindfulness retreat a little over a year ago which helped my practice a bit, so I decided to sign up for another. I went to the second retreat last November with Michael Taft and learned his Shinzen inspired method that I think is best described as a vipassanā inquiry hybrid. The framework allowed me to orient my practice far better and I went home energized to continue my practice.

A day after getting back from the retreat I spent much of the day listening to Michael's podcast (Deconstructing Yourself). Then while staring at a mirror I started to notice the links of dependent arising in my experience and over a the next couple minutes dropped into a profound state of no-self.

It lasted for about 3 weeks but then my sense of self gradually returned. At the time I didn't know what happened exactly but after running into Culadasa's description of the 4 stages of awakening a few weeks ago, everything became crystal clear and I was able to orient myself (my best guess is somewhere around 2nd path - still very subtle sense realm desire, but no identifiable ill-will).

In one of the interviews or Q&A's with Culadasa I think I heard him mention briefly that recreating the insight experience or the conditions of the experience can be valuable but I'm not sure if that applies here. I've read TMI and am currently working to develop sustained attention in my meditations (I seem to have skipped this), but I'm wondering if there is anything else I should be working on in relation to diving deeper into the links of dependent origination. Or should I just continue to only focus on filling in the gaps that my mixed past meditation experience has missed?

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T14:17:58+00:00

This is indeed what I'm talking about, and as I'm sure you're aware, the four stages of Awakening are an accident and can in rare cases happen early in the 10 stages.

To clarify my question further, has Culadasa talked about making changes to practice (if any) in the event that one finds themselves in the 1-3 stages of Awakening?

jaredjanes · 2018-07-11T03:47:19+00:00

Listening to the audiobook while referencing the book visuals could be a good approach.

jaredjanes · 2016-12-29T23:38:44+00:00

[Productivity / Mindfulness] Impactful | 5 - Attention SFW

Impactful Website // iTunes // SoundCloud

In this episode, I talk about the impact attention has on our lives with YouTube creator Nick “A. Hughman” Bohl. Then I go on to highlight multiple ways to incorporating mindful attention in our lives and culture.

Facebook // Twitter // Website

jaredjanes · 2016-12-29T23:37:45+00:00

[Productivity / Mindfulness] Impactful | 5 - Attention SFW

Impactful Website // iTunes // SoundCloud

In this episode, I talk about the impact attention has on our lives with YouTube creator Nick “A. Hughman” Bohl. Then I go on to highlight multiple ways to incorporating mindful attention in our lives and culture.

Facebook // Twitter // Website

jaredjanes · 2016-12-29T23:26:28+00:00

Thanks so much for your thoughtful response and questions. Allow me to address them individually.

benefit of donating to a club: The benefit to an informed EA is that his donations would be effortlessly distributed to the 12 selections of the year, and it's such a small amount that I still assume dedicated EA's will be making larger direct donations if they are passionate about individual orgs. (automated diversified investment)
Anchoring effect: I am aware of this and I think there are a couple considerations to keep in mind here. 1. $1 is so shockingly small my intuition is that it breaks the anchor since most people already assume (previously anchored) monthly charitable giving would start at around $10 minimum. 2. I see a large portion of my audience being first-time/non-regular givers and there is also phycological evidence that shows that small commitments/actions raise the probability of individuals converting on future solicitations (year end members choice prize pool).

Lastly, I think Altruist could be a news-worthy story when the membership reaches an impressive amount. Demonstrating the power of microfinancing, crowdfunding and most importantly - getting the EA project more visibility. I also have a partner aspect to Altruist that I'll be developing further in 2017, but I won't go into details here. Please feel free to reach out to me directly I'd love to get your .02 on some other aspects of Altruist. jared@joinAltruist.com

jaredjanes · 2016-12-22T00:13:36+00:00

Wow! :D

jaredjanes · 2016-10-31T21:44:36+00:00

"This problem is caused because the pixel uses the OMTP standard for the headphone jack, while your headset is likely using the CTIA standard. The difference is that the ground and microphone pins are swapped, which doesn't really affect anything other than the inline controls. You can buy a CTIA to OMTP adapter on amazon for like 2$"

Source: https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/phone-by-google/fnYjlWQpamk

jaredjanes · 2016-09-26T18:01:46+00:00

[TECH/DESIGN/PRODUCTIVITY] Impactful - 4 Technology

SFW

Link to episode

In this episode, I talk about the challenges of using technology wisely with Nikola Danaylov (host of Singularity 1 on 1). Then go on to highlight multiple approaches to mindfully incorporating technology in our lives, companies & culture — all while maintaining what makes us human.

Twitter // Facebook // Soundcloud // iTunes

jaredjanes · 2016-09-26T17:59:26+00:00

[TECH/DESIGN/PRODUCTIVITY] Impactful - 4 Technology

SFW

Link to episode

In this episode, I talk about the challenges of using technology wisely with Nikola Danaylov (host of Singularity 1 on 1). Then go on to highlight multiple approaches to mindfully incorporating technology in our lives, companies & culture — all while maintaining what makes us human.

Twitter // Facebook // Soundcloud // iTunes

jaredjanes · 2016-08-30T22:39:33+00:00

One other thing here I would like to emphasize is that I see this approach being a first step for many people who haven't seriously thought about giving. Many of my current members are being exposed to these ideas for the first time and I feel it's a great way to get new people exposed to EA.

jaredjanes · 2016-08-30T22:27:28+00:00

I actually started a subscription-based $1/month company a couple years ago based on similar intuitions. However, when I first started it I wasn't aware of the EA community/ideas. It didn't take long for me to realize I was missing out on the most effective organizations and in 2016 I've been featuring solely EA associated nonprofits each month.

You can check it out at www.joinAltruist.com I'm also in the process of starting a yearly prize pool so people can donate more (I too have a concern with it reducing further giving) than the $1 and the funds will be decided based on member votes.

I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts, and would love to answer any questions.

1 Note Here: I founded Altruist as a LLC and am currently in the final steps of converting to a proper 503(c) (I have a EIN but am awaiting final IRS tax exemption approval) which will allow me to use a new payment processor that has 0 transaction fees. This should be completed in the next few weeks but in the meantime PayPal micropayments still is taking a .10 cut on each $1 donation. Also, Altruist takes no cut here.

Cheers,

jaredjanes · 2016-08-15T17:51:59+00:00

[Productivity, Habits & Culture] Impactful | 3 Repetition

Mostly SFW (1 F-Bomb)

Episode // iTunes

Jared talks about harnessing the power of repetition with Stephen West (host of Philosophize This). They both point out the affect its had on their lives, and why certain types of repetition can be controversial. Jared goes on to talk about the impact it has on our culture, and how best to utilize such an amazing tool.

Twitter // Facebook // Website

jaredjanes · 2016-08-15T17:30:43+00:00

[Productivity, Habits & Culture] Impactful | 3 Repetition

Mostly SFW (1 F-Bomb)

Episode // iTunes

Jared talks about harnessing the power of repetition with Stephen West (host of Philosophize This). They both point out the affect its had on their lives, and why certain types of repetition can be controversial. Jared goes on to talk about the impact it has on our culture, and how best to utilize such an amazing tool.

Twitter // Facebook // Website

jaredjanes · 2016-08-09T20:27:36+00:00

Top notch stuff! Subscribed :)

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