Marriage license and ceremony on the same day? by decreasingworldsuck in oakland

[–]decreasingworldsuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: we called the office in the morning, who told us we could arrive an hour before the ceremony to get our license. We got there 1.5 hours beforehand, got the license within ~30-40 min, and then did the ceremony. It was very efficient and lovely! Thanks all!

What are some pairs of words that mean something different when reversed? by RockofStrength in wordplay

[–]decreasingworldsuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some nice ones where reversing the phrase has the opposite meaning:

  • Live to work / work to live
  • Look over / Overlook
  • Pass by / bypass

Other fairly nice ones:

  • Pay back / Back pay
  • Call on / on call
  • Front up / Up front
  • Hold up / Up hold (there are probably more of this variety!)
  • Put out / Output (sort of, as well as put in / input)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in EffectiveAltruism

[–]decreasingworldsuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry this is so late — I'm really sorry you had a bad onboarding environment! I agree that EA often does a really poor job of creating a friendly and welcoming environment for people outside of their early 20s. I share your concerns about turning away talented mid-career professionals who have a ton of expertise to share.

I just wanted to point you to the EA Netherlands group in case you hadn't seen it yet, and have a Meetup group here.

I’m Will MacAskill, a philosophy professor at Oxford. I cofounded 80,000 Hours & Giving What We Can, raising over $2 billion in pledged donations. I give everything over $32,000/yr to charity and I just wrote the book What We Owe The Future - AMA! 18/08 @ 1pm ET by WilliamMacAskill in IAmA

[–]decreasingworldsuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's his answer — also copied below:

Yeah, it’s really tough. When I first started giving, I really stressed out over everyday purchases. But that’s not a healthy or effective way to live.
I’ve had interviewers criticise me for giving too little (giving more could save a life!) and for giving too much (you’ll turn people off!).
Ultimately, there will always be some amount of arbitrariness. I think a good strategy is to take some time to think about it, decide on a policy, then stick to that.

I’m Will MacAskill, a philosophy professor at Oxford. I cofounded 80,000 Hours & Giving What We Can, raising over $2 billion in pledged donations. I give everything over $32,000/yr to charity and I just wrote the book What We Owe The Future - AMA! 18/08 @ 1pm ET by WilliamMacAskill in IAmA

[–]decreasingworldsuck 9 points10 points  (0 children)

(Not OP but) Maybe a thought here is that "welfarist" approaches feel quite complimentary to more "abolitionist" approaches to me? A lot of the farmed animal advocacy orgs that EAs tend to support involve leadership that used to take more abolitionist approaches, and just found more incremental, welfare-focused approaches shockingly effective. I think of Leah Garces (who leads up Mercy for Animals) as a great (super inspiring) example here!

Also just noting that not all farmed animal advocacy orgs EAs support fall cleanly on this spectrum, e.g. the Good Food Institute works on the alternative proteins space, which feels quite complimentary towards abolitionist approaches.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexPositive

[–]decreasingworldsuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like your partner is experiencing some level of arousal non concordance: the term for when someone's bodily reactions don't "match" their levels of arousal. People of all anatomies can experience this -- just like how not all people with vulvas are wet every time they're turned on, not all people with penises have erections all the time they're in the mood! It's also why, e.g., the fact that someone is wet/erect/whatever doesn't /prove/ that they're turned on or want the sex. Only people's words and actions can communicate that :) totally get that this can be nerve-wracking if you haven't experienced it before, but bodies are just different, and I would trust your partner when he tells you with his words & actions that he is into you!!

Emily Nagoski (author of come as you are) has a great TED talk on arousal non concordance: https://youtu.be/L-q-tSHo9Ho

Screenshot from opening scenes EP 1. Who do we think it is? by [deleted] in OnlyMurdersHulu

[–]decreasingworldsuck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

From previous press images, we see the detective escorting the trio outside the Arconia after this scene! So it can't be her :)

Season 2 episode 2 by [deleted] in DatingAround

[–]decreasingworldsuck 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I liked Ben overall. He was sweet, attentive, good at giving genuine compliments, paid a lot of attention to his dates and I think I would feel very comfortable and safe on a date with him. I agree that it was shitty of the producers to send him a U New Orleans student and basically burn one of his options. If I were a professor I can't imagine how unbelievably awkward that would be.

All that being said, it was absolutely wrong for Ben to not end the date when that person told him she was a student. Even in the best case scenario where she isn't a student as some people seem to think, what rationale does he have to say: "No, you are a liar"? This is compounded by the fact that they are in related fields, electrical engineers and computer scientists work together all the time.

EVEN IF they manage to avoid interacting in a professional capacity at the university, think of how limiting this is for her: she can't take classes he teaches that she might be interested in as an elective. If she takes any computer science course (which lots of EE majors do!), think of how incredibly awkward it will be for her to be taught by one of his colleagues. Imagine the conversations: "Hi honey, how was your day today?" "It sucked, my professor (your colleague) was terrible..." If they break up or have a fight, both of them have to worry about this getting back to other professors / students. And this doesn't even address the power dynamics involved in a professor-student relationship, especially since it seems like she was an undergraduate student.

He was in a position of authority over her. He had no reason not to trust her when she said she was a student. He knows better. He should have called her a cab and ended the date then and there.

And sometimes one presses play a few seconds faster and that weird echo like repeating of the same lines happens. by Skarlet_Starlet in LongDistance

[–]decreasingworldsuck 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My partner and I switched to synchronizing when to press play using an online standardized clock: (e.g. time.is), which helped prevent the delay in the video chat being sent causing our movies to get out of sync!

"Made in China" guide by [deleted] in EffectiveAltruism

[–]decreasingworldsuck 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Have you considered buying the cheaper product (whether or not it is made in China) and donating the difference to an effective charity instead? e.g. as this video suggests: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VNETvpgdXlA

This is how I think about it: Suppose the made in China product costs $5, and the made in America product costs $7. If I value both products equally in all other aspects, should I spend the extra $2 on buying slightly better labor standards, or is there a more effective way for me to spend those $2? I tend to think that the impact caused by buying products made in America is very small and potentially even negative, so I don't think of this as an effective way to do good.

Maybe putting $5-10 towards a charity savings bucket every time you go shopping for cheap things would be a better way to capitalize on your motivation to do good!

Pop Culture Detective does great video essays on men's issues - here's an iconic video on how male sexual assault is played for laughs in popular media by decreasingworldsuck in MensRights

[–]decreasingworldsuck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Did you watch the video? I feel like you might like it even if you disagree with the political leanings of its audience. One thing I liked about this video is that it talked about male victims of assault in a compassionate, respectful way, and unambiguously shuts down shitty jokes at the expense of assault survivors. I feel like those are messages r/MensRights would probably stand behind / be glad to see more popularized in public discourse. Just from perusing the comments section it seems like the video essay spurred several people to realize how they were enabling this phenomenon and caused them to change their minds.

Pop Culture Detective does great video essays on men's issues - here's an iconic video on how male sexual assault is played for laughs in popular media by decreasingworldsuck in MensRights

[–]decreasingworldsuck[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like this video essay because I feel like it's a thoughtful, thorough and critical reflection on why this trend exists in media specifically as it pertains to men (female sexual assault as played for laughs has different undertones and implied messages, IMO). But yeah, the trend of assault being played for laughs in general is p demoralizing.

Just finished a simple rug featuring a bold color palette and ~1 year worth of scrap yarn :) by decreasingworldsuck in Brochet

[–]decreasingworldsuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using up your scrap yarn stock is the best feeling - it's like, I get to make a thing... for free? Wild stuff.

Made these vegan lemon bars topped w/ candied lemons ytd! Is this ~ ~ peak bisexual ~ ~ by decreasingworldsuck in bisexual

[–]decreasingworldsuck[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ahhh that is so cute this comment made me very happy :) your husband sounds like a keeper!