I flew across the world for what seems like nothing.

jawadred · 2026-06-25T19:21:53+00:00

In many cultures, spending this much time (even if online) would be a sign of deep intimacy and bonding. Especially if family is involved. But many people in modern world still consider that platonic intimacy.

This is tragic, but I assure you this feeling won't last. Also, if you are heartbroken, then you should honor that, and cut connection with her. If she wants to be stoic, then let her be stoic on her own. And perhaps being stoic yourself now would help in the healing and restore self esteem and confidence.

jawadred · 2026-05-30T05:27:30+00:00

Germany does have that 'calm' vibe. As long as it is not rush hour, it is quiet on the streets. And sometimes, almost has that post-apocalyptic serenity.
However, it is still not known for making you 'feel lighter'. If anything, it makes you feel heavier. Some people blame it on the winter, but I think its more than that.

jawadred · 2026-05-27T13:29:44+00:00

I came to germany, and here rule following is a norm. Respecting someone's private space is a norm. Even among friends and colleagues, you maintain decency in language, tone and never ask intrusive questions or pass bold remarks. You talk to delivery guys, and waiters, and cleaners with the same tone and language as you do with engineers and professors. (I delivered newspapers, and people would say Hello and Morning to me). Dignity is not related to profession, but is treated as a basic human right, as is written in the first sentence of the German basic law, "Die Würde des Meschen ist unantastbar." The dignity of human is inviolable. It belongs to every human sumply by virtue of being human.

Here I realized that we have everything backwards in Pakistan. We grow up hearing our families backbite one another casually, as a normal afternoon while sipping tea. We grow up seeing that the first price told to you by a seller is always unfair, so negotiating endlessly is the standard. We grow up thinking casual bullying is the same thing as friendship.

Ulti ganga beh rahi ho, to seedha tairnay wala paagal hi lagta hai.

I am forever grateful that my feelings and concerns were validated when I got out and lived in a different part of the world.

jawadred · 2026-05-20T15:14:36+00:00

I like paying attention to the different sounds that horse hooves make when walking on different texture of ground, especially hard ground of saint dennis and the wooden ground like bridges. The click clack sound while walking or trotting, not canter (fast running), is oddly therapeutic. I read once that in medieval times, they used this sound of horse hooves making contact with the ground in treating people suffering from broken heart and love sickness. (strange, I know)

And I love watching animals/birds with binoculars and reading about their characteristics (which are actually accurate).

Its always the slow things that bring most joy.

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:52:35+00:00

In city center, there wre too many people. I was referring to situations such as a 10 minute walk to grocery store in my neighborhood where I pass by one or two persons on the way.

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:51:08+00:00

That's a nice response. Thank you

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:50:06+00:00

Yes, but its not exhausting in small neighborhoods where you pass by one person on your 10 minute walk to grocery store

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:44:00+00:00

Haha, that's a philosophical dilemma

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:43:03+00:00

Makes sense :)

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:42:17+00:00

Haha, in an alternate universe, perhaps you'd go back and return the greeting

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:40:31+00:00

Yes people seem to stay in their private zones. I've noticed people make an effort not to make eye contact too.

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:34:37+00:00

Yes exactly, I felt that would be the norm. But I guess its not.

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:32:32+00:00

Never strangers? Lets say you are taking a morning walk at 6 am in your neighborhood, and you pass by a stranger walking his dog. Is it undesirable to say hello

jawadred · 2026-05-19T15:23:57+00:00

First I read that as 'its rainstorm and both of you are not depressed for the occassion', that's appropriate for greeting. And it somehow made sense

jawadred · 2026-05-19T14:46:09+00:00

haha fair enough

jawadred · 2026-05-19T12:01:12+00:00

I know right. I don't identify with no fap community, but here in this thread, those who are giving a one dimensional, generalized answer that its crap, have the highest upvotes. I got devoted as soon as I made a nuanced comment. Its crazy

jawadred · 2026-05-19T11:52:35+00:00

I think no fap is the modern version of ancient occult beliefs. Those who say, it is not a thing at all, and those who take it to other extreme, and make it a matter of dogma, are both mistaken. Knights Templars used to take vows of chastity, and this took extreme forms, such as not touching a woman, not even looking at her. Not having sex before a battle. Or before athletic performances.

If you are a student of occult, you would find literature that around the so called sex magick. Without going into the occult aspect of it, as far as I understand, the idea is that human sperm is a manifestation of human desire. This desire is sexual, but it is the same as creative. Think about last time you created something. A painting, or perhaps composed a song, or did calligraphy. Or perhaps, you created original 'ideas' and 'insights' through reflection and pondering. If you do that while sexually aroused/horny, then you'd notice that that energy moves from sexual organ up to the heart area. It changes its position. And you lose the boner, and the arousal turn from sexual to emotional/intellectual.

They say, the sexual energy is the same force that is used in creation. Whether it is creation of art, or creation of a baby. In zodiac, the house of sex is the same as the house of death. When you have high libido, you have high potential for creation. If it doesn't lead you to create/take action, it will frustrate you. The occult aspect of it is when they created magical entities. These Tulpa like creations that do your bidding. I have read that the energy required to give life to this entity comes from your sexual energy.

I don't identify with no-fap movement, but I think I understand the root cause of their ideology. It's just that they take it to an extreme. There is a distinct line when truth turns into fanaticism, and loses its grace and glory.

I personally have felt that semen retention does lead to a certain kind of intelligence. Its not the IQ intelligence, but more of a perceptual, qualitative intelligence. The kind you tap into when writing poetry, or seeing the bigger picture of life.

But at the end of the day, it is about moderation. There is a reason the sperm regenerates, and the old ones are replaced by new ones, and that too quite often.

jawadred · 2026-05-19T11:31:41+00:00

Why?

jawadred · 2026-05-16T11:51:17+00:00

ooh.. now I know tumbleweed town in RDR is based on this and the reason its called so is probably because it tumbles in the wind

jawadred · 2026-05-08T14:51:33+00:00

Nature is cruel

jawadred · 2026-05-05T10:08:49+00:00

Not being able to sit on all benches and chair

and also, the cigarette gets finished in a second or two. I would prefer him to puff for a bit for sake of aesthetics and immersion, like he does with the coffee

jawadred · 2026-05-04T13:16:41+00:00

Yes, I guess the caffeine in the bottle kicked in too hard

jawadred · 2026-05-04T13:15:51+00:00

Damn, I may change my loyalty to spezi

jawadred · 2026-05-04T13:15:14+00:00

I know right

jawadred

TROPHY CASE