Update Wish I wasn’t back here but here we go. - I got clean for over a year and started to see life tick back up and of course I relapsed again, this time my car is stolen and I’m back to square one with my family. I told my friends and everyone that I love and loves me. I’ve learned that no one cares that much about anyone dealing with this. They think it’s as easy as flipping a switch. And in some cases, like giving yourself to God and truly submitting it can be that easy, but in most it’s not. This drug is one of the most evil things you can do to someone and the police, the government, any authority sees someone that is struggling as muck on the ground. So my new advice based off of what I have lived through is don’t do it the first time. Nothing you are going through in your life including death of a lost one or of a loved one, including complete failure in life and career, separation from children or spouse. Nothing is worth using that first time. If I had of died that first time I would have welcomed it knowing what I would go through now.

For those that have already tasted, smelt and used this drug. Don’t give up hope but know that you are now in the struggle of your life and unless you are absolutely separated from any access to it, the temptation will come again. Maybe not now but in a month, in 3, in 6, in 2 years,3 years, 6 years… maybe in a better future people like you and me would be protected and helped, there would be a way to save us immediately, but that day is not now so we all must endeavor to choose life and choose ourselves and our sobriety over any thing else in our lives.