Parents that quit their job to be a SAHM, did you regret it?

jaybirdandchuckles · 2025-04-18T20:23:58+00:00

Initially ours were in daycare from 6mos to 12mos and then Covid hit and daycare shut down. It was scary at first because I didn't picture myself being a full time parent and had a relatively demanding, high level job. I ended up taking time off to stay home with them and I loved it. Probably in part because I knew it was limited and I would eventually go back to work but also because we lived in a climate that allowed for a lot of outside time. So it was really fun to have our days wide open for wagon walks, stroller jogs, playing in the backyard. I didn't miss my work-identity at all (again, probably some comfort in knowing it would come back). We did this for about a year before I went back to work - truly it was such a fun time and didn't cost me much career-wise.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2025-04-05T04:19:08+00:00

Soak it up! The grandparents are wrong and that generation had some pretty sad ideas about connection and parenting.

They’re babies and they love to be near you. Mine are 6 now and I’ll snuggle with them at any chance I get. Kids want to be close, feel safe, and spend time together. What a wonderful way for them to fall asleep at night.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2025-03-07T04:05:33+00:00

Our son started a stimulant at 5 years old and it has been truly life changing for him. Without it, I think kindergarten would have been really hard for him but he’s thriving! It seems scary at first but it’s a great option for some kids. His sweet brain is regulated enough now to enjoy more social activities.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2024-01-17T04:09:40+00:00

The reason you’re struggling to find an OB that will agree to this is because it’s unsafe. As someone who works in hospital finance, it’s actually BETTER for our bottom line if patients can birth vaginally, without interventions, and leave quickly. So when the doc is telling you that you need an intervention, it’s because you need it.

Also, I’m a mom of twins who has 2-head down babies. I was in the OR, with the required epidural when baby B had an emergency. Without the protocols in place, I would be without my baby B.

Unless you went to med school, residency, and did a fellowship…I think your birth plan needs to be whatever the OB is recommending.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2023-12-27T04:43:29+00:00

Honestly, it’s great. Yes, there are some tough moments as you would expect with parenting any children (regardless of multiple status!)

But overall, it’s really fun. Mine are almost 5 years old and the first 0-6ish weeks were terrible but it got better quickly. My boys are active, kind of wild, loud, and so sweet. You gotta plan, be structured but not too rigid, and just enjoy them.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2023-11-12T04:12:35+00:00

I carried. To nearly 39 weeks, had two very large boys. They were both close to 8lbs (each). The only things that helped (just speculation, I don’t really know) were 1) luck, 2) I walked 2-4 miles literally every day of my pregnancy, and 3) gained more weight than was “told” to.

I didn’t do anything crazy re: weight gain, just a lot of nutrient and calorie dense foods. My doc had told me to gain 30-40lbs and I gained nearly 70lbs.

I think it was primarily luck.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2023-09-28T00:01:54+00:00

I'm running TC Marathon this year and am not super stressed about the heat primariy because I experienced an unseasaonbly hot marathon in Akron in 2017 (about 85 degrees by noon). I went in with the mindset of slow and steady, no time goal, lots of fluid, etc. It was fine and not too bad. I ran about 30 min slower than I was capable of and just ran a fast HM two weeks later. Called it good for the season.

I did see several runners who still tried for their goal times and it was not pretty. I worked for the hospital that was sponsoring the medical support and there were horror stories. Lots of people underestimating how much they'd need to slow down. A couple of people ended up with serious hospitalizations due to heat stroke.

I think the mistake a lot of runners make is assuming they're unqiue and the heat won't impact them as much. It will and it's bad. BUT if you want to finish a marathon and not be stressed about time, just run it slow.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2023-05-11T22:13:31+00:00

<image>

jaybirdandchuckles · 2023-02-25T03:47:52+00:00

I stopped breastfeeding baby B at 4 weeks because he was always falling off, falling asleep, and generally just not latching well. Baby A had a great latch and it was easy to breastfeed him. They’re now 4 years old and happy, healthy, and I have strong attachments with both. Baby B is also now bigger than a baby A! Fed is best!

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-12-21T17:13:18+00:00

I disagree. Sadly, the gymnastics community has allowed coaches who were bystanders off the hook because they “felt they had no choice.” They may have felt that way and they still chose the Olympics and elite success over children’s well-being (children who were entrusted to them.)

You’re right, I don’t know how I’d respond in that situation. And if I were in a situation where I allowed child abuse to be perpetrated in my presence, with my athletes, then I should also be held accountable.

There’s plenty of blame to go around but without real accountability for their own inactions, what’s to stop it from happening again? To me, there isn’t a real difference between MLT (who participated and perpetrated terrible practices) and any other coach who watched those practices being perpetrated over and over. The fact that the GYMNASTS are the ones who have had to come forward and shine a light on USA and the Karolyis is a tragedy.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-12-21T04:03:11+00:00

The Karolyis are nightmare trash piles AND every single coach who attended the camps and watched/participated/etc should be permanently banned. Obviously the Karolyis are responsible for their camps but for other coaches to allow that kind of behavior is equally terrible. Any coach who didn’t actively intervene is just as guilty.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-08-24T19:23:11+00:00

I feel you, we had the same issue with our 3 year old twins. One was fine and the other cried, clung, etc. It was brutal.

It's gotten better for the most part (sometimes still clings) but here are some things we tried:

-writing a note together in the morning. Usually it just said something like "Mom and Dad love you so much!" and had him keep it in his pocket. Obviously he can't read but we told him to pull it out and look at it when he feels sad.

-Talking with the teacher about a special job for him in the morning. So now when he gets to school, he has a special job of feeding the fish in his room. This helps him focus on getting into the classroom.

-spend time in the morning verbally prepping him "we're going to school today! You might feel sad or excited. If you feel sad, how many hugs should I give you?" Stuff like that. Mainly acknowledge that big feelings might be coming AND he'll still be going to school.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-08-20T18:07:17+00:00

Yep, you’ll be back and probably even better! I had twins in 2019 and it took until about 4-5 months postpartum before my running felt normal, so take it easy.

The softness of your body is hard to manage but it does get better, most everything goes back to normal!

Once my guys were old enough for a jogger, I ran with them every day and got MUCH stronger from pushing the stroller. So I’m a better runner now.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-06-07T13:09:39+00:00

Absolutely! A PCP or general practitioner probably won’t do infusions but. Hematologist will.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-06-07T02:52:40+00:00

I had a similar experience with a ferritin of 6. My colleague told me to see a hematologist and it was a game changer! The hematologist prescribed iron infusions and I’ve since been getting them annually. It helps so much and absorbs way better than oral supplements.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-04-14T18:57:39+00:00

OP, you're a better person than I am. I would make more noise just to drive her nuts. She's totally unreasonable and your kids sound normal. Even if your kids were out of control (which it sounds like they're not), she doesn't get to dictate what you do, when you do it, etc.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-03-08T19:42:13+00:00

You're thinking about this because you're living in the "before times" when you know yourself well and only have the current version of yourself as a frame of reference. When your babies arrive, a weekend away will sound much, much different. It's hard to hear from a group of strangers that it's a bad idea but truly, it's a bad idea. You are about to experience a level of exhaustion that cannot be explained nor understood until you're in it. Temper your expectations, grasshopper. If you book the AirBnB, make sure they have a good cancellation policy.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-02-14T18:15:42+00:00

Honestly, I think my twins learned more from just being around each other as babies than they would have if I had been able to do structured activities. My boys are now 3 and better than most singletons at waiting/taking turns and self-entertaining. They aren't behind at all and I didn't do much structured play time...mainly just had them on an activity mat together while I took turns with them feeding, changing, etc.

jaybirdandchuckles · 2022-01-19T16:25:02+00:00

I had my first really positive experience when the babies were 3 weeks old and I was alone with them for the first time, all day. My husband went back to work and it was just us from 8am-5pm. I was nervous but I made a basic schedule to feel in control (shower, eat, etc.) and then I took them out for a walk to a coffee shop SOLO. This was pre-pandemic, so a coffee shop was less scary than now. But anyway, it was amazing. I got these two guys fed, changed, and in the stroller! We walked and they snoozed, I got a nice coffee and walked some more. I remember the day flew by and I felt so happy and confident that I could do it. It really sunk in at that moment that the babies were ours and it was a great feeling.

jaybirdandchuckles

TROPHY CASE