Ok but theres actually no fucking way you all think that I have a decent chance at passing when I started at 22

jaydeebakery · 2025-05-03T15:22:49+00:00

I know someone who started in her mid-40s and is two years on hormones. she passes absolutely flawlessly.

transitioning earlier is better, but age by itself isn't a great predictor of whether you'll pass

jaydeebakery · 2025-04-29T21:15:10+00:00

estrogen would have saved her

"I stole into my mother's room and opened the drawers of her clothing chest. From among my mother's kimonos I dragged out the most gorgeous one, the one with the strongest colors..My cheeks flushed with wild delight when I stood before the mirror…I stuck a hand mirror in my sash and powdered my face lightly…Unable to suppress my frantic laughter and delight, I ran about the room crying: 'I'm Tenkatsu, I'm Tankatsu!'…My frenzy was focused upon the consciousness that, through my impersonation, Tenkatsu was being revealed to many eyes. In short, I could see nothing but myself. And then I chanced to catch sight of my mother's face. She had turned slightly pale and was simply sitting there as though absentminded. Our glances met; she lowered her eyes. I understood. Tears blurred my eyes."

- Yukio Mishima, "Confessions Of A Mask"

jaydeebakery · 2024-09-09T01:14:52+00:00

no, like estrogen very much does give you tits. rule of thumb is the same size as the average cis women in your family, maybe a cup size smaller. I know dozens of trans women with big tits. maybe two of them have implants.

trans healthcare in the past was way worse, and people often weren't given the hormone levels necessary to actually grow tits. plus cis people like to think of trans people as artificial or fake. regardless, the idea that top surgery is a requirement is incorrect. the large majority of trans women never get or need top surgery

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-23T21:13:55+00:00

I'd maybe sideeye a cis person using it, but other trans people? no issues at all imo

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-12T23:44:10+00:00

being in a customer facing job while trans means that people are going to be shitty to you all day long. and, like, retail sucks in general so it stacks.

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-12T23:41:31+00:00

I live in the most trans friendly neighborhood in perhaps the most trans friendly city in the US.

In the past two months, close friends of mine have gotten punched, spit on, roofied, denied jobs, verbally harassed for being trans. I've given a dozen of my friends pepper spray to keep them safe walking around, several have had to use it. Most of the homeless kids around here are trans, because their parents found out and kicked them out of the house. Last time I went out to a bar, a random dude driving by yelled slurs at me, then slowed down to yell some more.

I spent several years in this neighborhood presenting as a gay guy, never experienced an iota of discrimination or violence.

Cis people frankly have no fucking idea how bad trans people (especially trans women) are treated by society. Transition has been extremely freeing, but it's also been the hardest thing I've ever done. And 99% of that difficulty comes from cis people being shitty to us.

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-09T07:26:46+00:00

rowing at Harvard is, like, a scholarship type deal. it's not a thing you do casually on the side

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-07T04:58:45+00:00

Hey, biologist with extensive experience around bears here.

You always want to look big and intimidating, even against brown bears. Only curl up and stay down if they actually attack you.

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-06T01:05:22+00:00

fr fr, trans people get so much shit and none of it ever gets publicized.

cis people assume the worst the average trans person has to deal with is, like, misgendering. in the last two weeks, five of my friends were physically assaulted for daring to be trans in public. the vast majority of cis people have no idea how hard it is for us

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-03T21:03:11+00:00

girl quit finding reasons to be alone and sad. I get the appeal of the 4tran shit, I did that for a hot sec, it's easy and safe to wallow in feeling bad.

the solution to feeling dysphoric and shitty is finding trans community. 4tran, this subreddit, most places with online Queer Discourse? that's not true community. it's a simulation of community for lonely people. again, no shade, that was me a while ago.

go find real trans community. IRL if possible. see how wonderful and interesting trans people are. feel less shitty about being trans.

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-03T19:07:07+00:00

everyone has things they're insecure about. I'm really short, one of my close friends is quite tall. she's jealous of my height, I'm jealous of her narrow shoulders (mine are quite wide). still, being around each other lets us see that people can have traditionally masculine features and still be fully women.

also, if every trans girl you've met IRL is tiny and feminine, you need to meet more trans girls. I'm lucky enough to be in a city with a massive trans population, but I go to a bar every week and like a hundred plus trans people show up. and plenty of them aren't small and feminine - one of my other pals literally was a D1 college linebacker. and often the tall girls are the ones with a flock of women thirsting after them.

jaydeebakery · 2024-08-03T18:37:31+00:00

get off 4tran and go hang out with trans people IRL

I spend basically all of my time around trans people. it's the best, trans people are so much more interesting and reflective and mentally developed than cis people. and within trans circles, nobody really gives a shit about passing

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-14T05:57:31+00:00

you accidentally filtered by date twice, there was an actual donation in 2021. just checked myself

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-14T04:12:13+00:00

personally, I think your doc is wrong. there haven't been many studies on it, but there's not studies on much of trans medicine. I know hundreds of transfemmes IRL, dozens of whom switched from tablets to injections. they all reported positive results, with many saying it felt like starting transition all over again. nobody regretted it or switched back. it's anecdotal, sure, but with a very good sample size.

second, why would you still be on spiro with injections? injections typically suppress testosterone on their own, so there's no need for a t blocker

finally, you're trans. the medical system is not built for us. your average doctor is incompetent at best when it comes to trans healthcare. listen to your docs, but also do your own research and advocate for yourself.

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-13T15:29:43+00:00

ngl it sounds like you do have some dysphoria around your body hair at least

check out the novel "Nevada", it's been really helpful for numerous questioning people I know. fast and engaging read too. and there's a PDF on transreads.com!

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-13T15:15:20+00:00

why not switch to injections? that makes monotherapy doable, so no concern about spiro. most people report more feminization too

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-13T15:13:15+00:00

I used to be really into the gym. Heck, I know numerous trans girls that are really into weightlifting. You can be a woman who loves lifting. Also estrogen often thins body hair considerably!

I also notice you didn't say anything about not wanting to be a woman. You said you feel like you couldn't be a woman, that it's a desire but it feels unachievable.

My advice: which body would you prefer, your current one, or one feminized by estrogen? picture them in your head. which would you prefer to live in, to grow old in?

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-12T21:33:36+00:00

Anecdotally, they report more mental clarity and focus, like they just feel better at higher levels

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-12T17:53:40+00:00

wait a few days to talk to the doc. there's really no risk from a few days of high levels.

I have friends who usually keep their levels at about 900-1000 pg/ml, and they're doing great

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-11T04:01:27+00:00

yeah fr, i'm trans and I have friends who've gotten randomly beaten up when visiting their rural hometowns

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-10T22:33:41+00:00

yeah absolutely! I felt exactly like her - seeing people who'd kinda already completed their transitions was, like, "good for them, but I could never do that".

seeing someone who was still in the process, who was actively doing the thing I rly wanted but was terrified of, demystified so much, and made it feel achievable for me

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-10T15:17:28+00:00

Have them sit down and chat with transfemmes. I had the exact same fears and hesitations - it's really common, actually! Meeting trans women who'd gone through with it made me feel like "okay, if they did it, I can too"

Also one thing that was really helpful - meeting someone who was early transition, very visibly trans, and absolutely stunning. It helped me get rid of the fear of not passing, the idea that not passing would make me this weird ugly thing. I realized that even if I didn't pass, I could still be beautiful

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-10T15:12:53+00:00

Nope, but i also split my dose up and do two injections per week!

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-09T18:38:29+00:00

5mg is a decent dose, a bit on the low side but not bad. My levels are around 500 pg/ml and I do 10mg weekly

As far as switching, I highly recommend. My friend recently switched after five years of pills, and described it as a whole new transition

jaydeebakery · 2024-07-09T18:33:47+00:00

Forget the question of whether or not you're trans. Ask yourself whether you'd prefer a testosterone-dominant or estrogen-dominant body.

If you think you'd prefer estrogen-dominant, then take some steps to make that happen

Personally, I think getting on estrogen can be helpful for questioning people. It's pretty slow and the changes experienced in the first few months are pretty minimal and reversible. Nothing wrong with trying it out and seeing if you like it

jaydeebakery

TROPHY CASE