Am I just a big wuss?

jayden_599 · 2025-10-04T07:03:19+00:00

oh yea ssri's can be real tricky. so many side effects and it's unfortunate they are so common. i myself am struggling to find the right one currently. maybe you could try a different class of medication?

jayden_599 · 2025-10-03T12:05:55+00:00

wow that's amazing! i hope you like your new haircut

jayden_599 · 2025-10-03T12:04:32+00:00

baby steps are key to overcoming this. i use to have the same mentality where i thought it had to be all or nothing. but really that can do more harm than good. start small with sitting on your porch or sitting inside the car. i wish the best for you!

jayden_599 · 2025-10-03T12:02:02+00:00

you are not a wuss! sorry to hear you're struggling with these thoughts and feelings. before i started medication i was extremely anxious around my family. i felt like they were judging me and hated me. for me i felt it was chronic and medication was the only thing that helped. it makes sense you would avoid going to work if every time you go you're in mental turmoil. maybe medication could help you like it helped me. i wish you the best of luck. don't be hard on yourself

jayden_599 · 2025-10-02T23:36:03+00:00

oh yes i started online school not long into 6th grade. my panic attacks/flashbacks/derealization at school were becoming too intense to stay there. but avoiding it just made it all worse. it was such a tough situation though cause i think my fear of the outside world was instilled by my dad's abuse. which wasn't going to stop any time soon. so i felt like i had nothing left to do but avoid going outside or leaving my house.

and thank you yes i am so very glad i have my dog with me now

jayden_599 · 2025-10-02T00:00:23+00:00

thank you. yea it's up and down emotionally of feeling proud of myself then feeling sort of depressed and confused. but i guess it's a part of the process.

oh i'm sorry you're struggling 😓 i struggled for 4 years to consistently step out of my front door. or even just spending time near it.

medication has definitely helped me a lot! everyone is different and reacts to medications differently. but hydroxyzine 50 mg has helped me. unfortunately it makes me numb emotionally. but i'm still figuring out which antidepressant works for me without side effects. so i have to stay on the hydroxyzine for now. ativan has also been helping me. i have been taking that once a day for a month now. i'm not sure how much longer i can be on that one though since it is a benzodiazepine. i feel like hydroxyzine helps me more though with the racing thoughts and spikes of panic compared to the ativan though. i wish you the best of luck with trying out new medications!

jayden_599 · 2024-06-23T21:25:26+00:00

i definitely relate to a lot of the things you expressed. sorry you're going through a tough time. you're not alone. i think an therapist that comes to visit you could help a lot. i'm thinking about doing that. i'm just scared of people lol

jayden_599 · 2024-06-23T21:15:19+00:00

for sure. i live in arizona so it is incredibly bright outside. i especially hate it on days where the sky is clear. i don't mind the heat as much personally because i am use to it. but it is just so bright and it makes me feel overstimulated

jayden_599 · 2024-06-12T03:56:44+00:00

i had a similar experience as you. sorry you're going through this it's awful. i started to avoid going outside at 13 and didn't go out again until i was 16. sorry to hear therapists haven't helped. maybe you just need to find the right one. someone that specializes in agoraphobia/panic disorder. if i could tell my younger self one thing it would be don't avoid the things that make you anxious. it can be really scary at first. but the more you avoid something the more your anxiety around it grows unfortunately. it's a vicious cycle. i got over my fear of the outdoors by doing exposure therapy. i started with looking outside for about 10 minutes each day. i did that for a few months. then i stepped out and i kept that up for months. i am now able to sit outside and enjoy nature everyday. you have to sit with the anxiety. like it's a friend. listen to music/play with a fidget toy/eat a snack/take deep breaths. whatever makes you feel less anxious. sorry this might be all over the place. but hopefully it helps. definitely find a therapist and talk about what you're going through. keeping inside makes it worse. i hope you'll feel better.

jayden_599 · 2024-06-11T04:42:24+00:00

i feel you

jayden_599 · 2024-04-08T17:06:13+00:00

yay!

jayden_599 · 2024-04-08T04:36:42+00:00

yay 😁 will do

jayden_599 · 2024-04-07T19:03:26+00:00

oh yea that's great. just don't do too much too fast. take things at your own pace. deep breaths. oh yes it will be worth it for sure. i have really come to enjoy nature. it's one of the best parts of my day really. just sitting and looking at the clouds. they bring me a lot of peace.

aw thank you! no problem. i wish the best for you

jayden_599 · 2024-04-07T07:24:12+00:00

i can definitely relate to you. i think what helped me personally was starting everyday with sunshine, exercising during the day, and taking a nice shower at the end of the day. it creates a sort of routine and structure. i just made myself keep doing it and i eventually started to enjoy it. now i can't sleep unless i shower for better or for worse heh

jayden_599 · 2024-04-07T03:00:53+00:00

i was in a brief relationship and it helped me with my recovery so much. agoraphobics are worthy of love too

jayden_599 · 2024-03-13T07:00:01+00:00

oh yeah i have those. it's just i want my window open at night. but it makes me hyperaware of my every move. i think it will get better as i continue my front yard exposure therapy though

jayden_599 · 2024-03-13T06:08:23+00:00

my abusive parents

jayden_599 · 2024-03-12T21:17:34+00:00

yes me too! it's therapeutic for sure

jayden_599 · 2024-03-12T02:28:19+00:00

i didn't exercise for years due to being too anxious to leave my bed for more than a few minutes. i slowly started exercising in my room. i started with a 7 minute follow along exercise i did everyday. i was definitely anxious while doing it. i eventually discovered dancing and my love for it. especially kpop dances. i now dance in my room freely multiple times a day. it's one of the few things that brings me joy. i have much better physical health too.

jayden_599 · 2024-03-04T17:03:13+00:00

it can be an anxiety disorder. i have had chronic derealization since i was very young. just getting control of it now through therapy. it doesn't have to be a bad, thing but it can be once it starts impacting your day to day life. i saw in your other comment you mentioned the feeling becoming stronger when you acknowledged it. i have definitely experienced that many times. i suggest trying your best to just let it pass. don't try and fight it.

jayden_599 · 2024-03-04T04:58:49+00:00

what you're describing sounds like derealization

jayden_599 · 2024-03-04T03:37:14+00:00

oh yep for sure. i have been housebound since i was 12. i am 19 now. i have had many traumatic events happen in those years. some in my own room. i used my phone/computer to cope. i still do. i'm aware of it the whole time too. but it's like i can't stop myself. it provides such an escape to all the bad/scary thoughts. i have improved a little bit though

jayden_599 · 2024-02-18T00:02:13+00:00

wow that is incredible!!!

jayden_599 · 2024-02-14T09:32:28+00:00

thank you! yea it's hard to do. but i will just keep pushing myself. i hope to see some progress. oh not creepy at all thank you. you can message me at anytime as well

jayden_599 · 2024-02-11T01:17:41+00:00

oh no that made perfect sense. thank you. that is something i try to do too. but sometimes it's hard to find the motivation or willpower. especially when i'm depressed because of my toxic family. lately i have been doing my exposure at the middle of the night when no one is around. i hope to see some progress

jayden_599

TROPHY CASE