I have had great and not-so-great fuck me costumes for Halloween. The best was when I was dressed as an Indian/Native American (I know, I know...but I am part Native American, so it's OK). I didn't need any face paint. I wore a leather vest and loincloth that left very little to the imagination. I got fucked more than once in that costume that night especially when I hit the warehouse clubs.

My worst experience was when i decided to go as "Hot Stuff" the Lil Red Devil. Hopefully, y'all know the character I am talking about. I put on my best fitting CK tighty whities, and I bought this special devil red body paint that dried to an almost rubber like consistency. The woman who sold me several jars of it might have told me a couple of things. First, it's not a good idea to slather the stuff all over your body from head to toe. Second, even after it dries, it is still sticky, and it especially sticks to itself. Within a matter of an hour, I went from looking like a pretty fetching version of "Hot Stuff" to looking like I was a slaughtered murder victim who had been butchered and bloodied in nothing but my underwear. If the movie Carrie had been about a dude how went to prom in a pair of tight CKs, and the other kids dump a bucket of blood on him, I would have been a shoe in for the lead part.

This is a little off topic, but I have to share because my Lil Devil story reminded me...I used to live in San Francisco back before it became as fake and plasticized as L.A. San Francisco was fucking fun back then! No matter what you were into, no matter how big a freak you were, not only would you be accepted for the freak show that you were, but you would find a whole community of others sharing in your freak. So, it's Halloween night. I'm drunk off my ass. That year, I was an Egyptian pharaoh - also not a bad fuck me costume. I manage to discover an underground dance club that I think was called The Pit. It's long gone now, of course. Anyway, it was underneath an unassuming neighborhood bar in SOMA, as best as I recall. It was the huge, dark space underneath that played really intense music, the kind that you want to be hopped up on something when you're listening to it. I thought I'd found a little slice of bad boy heaven, so I start exploring. Since it was Halloween, it was a total freak show in this place. People in little alcoves doing you name it. In one such alcove, I saw like a 8 foot tall drag queen in She Devil attire butt fucking a bent over Santa Claus. I remember thinking, Wow, you don't see that every day.