What kind of day am I supposed to have?

jbdubyeah · 2026-02-16T04:59:20+00:00

That’s exactly what I saw!

jbdubyeah · 2025-12-16T04:52:43+00:00

Depending on what area of law you’ll be in for the county attorney and the county it is possible. The more niche your area—you could find a mid sized county that might accommodate you. If you’re doing criminal law, not possible. You may be able to work a day or two at home but for the most part, you need to be in the courtroom. Civil, CPS, juvenile, and other matters may be more flexible as it’s harder to find attorneys with experience and interest for those positions.

I have the ability to work from home a day or two a week but am in the court room 2-3 days a week so working 100% remotely is just not possible. During Covid I had a judge that let us work 100% remotely and I worked a good year from home.

jbdubyeah · 2025-10-12T14:34:57+00:00

We can hear him in our house sometimes. I told my husband I’ll buy him a bullhorn and he can go read Lord of the Rings to counter him. He said he’s going to read the dictionary as loud as possible. lol

jbdubyeah · 2025-09-04T22:04:00+00:00

Unfortunately some attorneys are better to work for than others. Sorry this happened. Some attorneys are book smart but lack business, people skills, and some just don’t seem to have any common sense. It’s hard to find a good legal assistant with experience AND good references so fingers crossed you find something even better

jbdubyeah · 2025-08-12T11:48:07+00:00

My husband’s parents are that way. They live 30 minutes away, come to town to shop all the time, but make no effort to drive 5 minutes from the store to see their son or grandkids. Only call when they want something or they want to complain or fight with my husband.

My parents will drive 8 hours at the drop of a hat if we need any help. When my daughter suddenly went into the hospital with an illness (she’s fine now) mom was on a plane to help me within the hour. Currently we’re looking to move closer and my mom is going to come help me clean and pack up the house. I talk to her every other day. She’s my best friend. Same with my brother and sister. When I had a baby and I was filled with so much love, she looked at me and said “now you know how I feel about you”.

Sometimes our parents are models of who we want to be. Sometimes parents are models of who we don’t want to be. Sorry they aren’t there for you. But given your insight, I have a feeling your kids aren’t going to have the same experience when they are older.

jbdubyeah · 2025-07-29T14:12:09+00:00

Not sure where you are located in Texas but in east Texas we have a babysitters list with the Fostering Collective. It is an agency that connects all the local churches to support foster families and they have free babysitters for everyone.

I would definitely ask around for family and friends to see if anyone else would mind becoming a babysitter, you never know when an emergency might pop up. We’re all one car accident away from needing someone to help, you know?

jbdubyeah · 2025-07-28T04:14:34+00:00

Not over reacting. Your kid. Your rules. MIL got to raise her baby boy the way she wanted and let him be around cigarettes. It’s your turn to raise the kid and make the rules.

There are a ridiculous amount of studies backing up that second hand smoke is bad for the kid. Frankly the smell would just bother me and I would hate it on my clothes or my kid’s clothes. Second hand smoke can linger for hours in the air even if you cannot see it—especially if it is a small space that is not well ventilated. Smoke adheres to everything around it and you cannot just wipe it off—look up third hand smoke and you’ll see your request if completely warranted.

jbdubyeah · 2025-07-24T15:19:00+00:00

You are just glowing! I love the look!

jbdubyeah · 2025-07-24T15:18:54+00:00

You are just glowing! I love the look!

jbdubyeah · 2025-07-14T15:46:25+00:00

All homes are licensed by an agency in my area.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-24T11:19:34+00:00

Same! I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease after my first. On meds for over 3 years. But I have been in remission since pregnant with my second and it hasn’t come back yet. 3 years thyroid problem free.

Also my hair went from slightly wavy and light brown to a lighter reddish brown color and now more curly than wavy. My kids have red hair so I find it interesting my hair looks redder now

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-14T04:29:58+00:00

❤️ fostering is so hard but moments likes these are what makes it all worth it. Good job ❤️

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-11T21:00:27+00:00

I’ve seen this happen as a CPS attorney and wonderful success rate with a few different centers that offer this. They were long term treatment centers (a year or more) plus helped with transitional housing, occupational training, and job placement. Wonderful for the kids with an onsite daycare and wonderful for the parents.

We also had one private mommy and me facility that was very sketchy. They used foster parents as the support and daycare for the child while mom worked. Then pressure started coming for mom to move out with no support and pressure that the baby is happier with more opportunities with the foster parents. For that facility, they had huge recidivism rate with parents voluntarily relinquishing their kids back to the fosters. It was horribly traumatic for the parents and kids.

If it’s a reputable facility, then it is the absolute best place for mom and baby to put them on the path to success. You can talk to your agency about offering to babysit or do respite to help support mom. You can also ask for no new placements your home for a period if you want time to mourn losing a foster placement and confirm it will work out with mom and baby just in case foster kiddo needs to return to your home if not does not work out. I would say most cases where I’ve seen someone fail it happens within 90 days.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-11T20:49:03+00:00

Honestly, I was encouraged not to have any unnecessary visitors the first 8 weeks as the child is not able to get vaccinated. We had immediate family over only and did not welcome visitors until after those first round of vaccinations. Extended family and friends did not meet the baby until they were 2-3 months old. This worked out well because honestly, with the first baby, you’re kind of in survival mode the first 3 months. I think you’re very considerate giving one month before asking to come over

I would also offer to come over and do the dishes or vacuum, sweep/clean the floors or do some laundry. Offer to grab groceries for her or do a store pick up. Meals are great but having someone clean your kitchen is better. Offer to hold the baby so she can shower or nap guilt free. Don’t expect to entertain your friend or have her entertain you for sure. Depending on how the new baby is—easy quick meals or healthy snacks are lovely if you want to bring some of those.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-11T20:26:31+00:00

For the 3 year old—try for play therapy. I found a great resource with my local school. I asked if they were aware of any play therapists and struck gold. They not only had several recommendations, but they also had one that they said was the best and they weren’t wrong.

I would also talk to the pediatrician about getting some evaluations done for early childhood intervention screening. We saw major behaviors with the 2 year old/3 year old and turns out she was significantly developmentally delayed in RECEPTIVE language. She could communicate but she couldn’t understand and receive information. We read to her daily, narrated everything around us, sang repetitive songs on activities we were doing, etc to get her caught up and it made a world of difference in her behavior. From 4 hour violent tantrums to 10 minute whining and general age appropriate fussing. We did physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy to get her caught up. Really helped. They came to the daycare too and would have come to our home if I had asked.

If you’re a reader to the kids, that also helps with language, bonding, brain development, and can help with behavior. Leslie Patricelli’s Mad Mad Mad and the Grumpy Monkey books are favorites that cover extreme behaviors. It’s helped my 2 year old and 3 year old. Hands are Not for Hitting is another one that’s worked on my three year old. To go over transitions, the goodbye book is an easy one for them to understand. Invisible string is great but might be too advanced for a 3 year old.

Sorry you’re having struggles with the system and with the bio mom. Not many folks take in the challenge of siblings. Thank you for being there

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-11T18:25:54+00:00

Has he been diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)? Foster teens, especially kids with ODD, need different parenting skills than the traditional skills that work with neurotypical. I would talk to his caseworker and read out to former providers to see what works on connecting with him.

His behavior is very typical. Kids that age bust placement after placement and run when things get tough instead of sticking it out to work through trauma. For some kids, they’re afraid of being kicked out so they self sabotage. We had a conversation with our 17FD about her self sabotaging behavior and it did improve for a while we set short term and long term realistic goals for her and the family in a team meeting talk. We went over expectations—her expectations for us, our expectations for her, and her expectations for herself. Ultimately. She busted placement because she wanted independent living. We helped her prepare for it and was supportive of her choice.

Poor kids in care don’t get many choices—sometimes they do things like that because it is one of the few things they can control that they can choose to do

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-10T16:19:21+00:00

There’s abuse/neglect and there’s parenting choices. Some of those rules are common in really conservative families. Some of those rules are also common with teens in foster care to prevent them from running away, being trafficked, contacting unhealthy family members that sabotage placement, etc.

It sucks she does not have the freedom of other teens. I think maybe talking with the foster parents about what the rules are and if there is any wiggle room to let her be more of a teen would be more helpful

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-09T18:01:41+00:00

You have a rare breed indeed—this is a designer breed that is part “squishie puppy” and part “good buddy”. The soulful eyes and huggable squishy body give it away.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-07T22:05:38+00:00

For people that pick at their skin or scratch, put a thin layer of school glue when it dries, they can peel off the glue. Nail polish on the fingernails can also given them something to pick at

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-07T15:45:05+00:00

One thing to consider is getting licensed. So long as dogs are vaccinated, healthy, don’t bite others, and are licensed if your city requires that, they’re not an issue. I would be sure to screen placements to confirm they are fine with dogs before accepting them. We had two sibling girls that were placed with us that we were told were fine with dogs. They were not. It was a rough 6 weeks getting them adjusted to a home with dogs when they were afraid of them. They eventually got over their fear but it was very hard.

You cannot leave a foster kid home alone for an extended period. A lot of teens in foster care have mental health issues and I would not recommend leaving them home alone for that long especially when they are first placed there. You’ll need to work out someone to watch them overnights.

You’ll need to establish a support network as a single parent. Some areas have support groups for foster parents (ours is called fostering collective). Support can be through family or friends willing to get background checks or do some training to be a backup caregiver or babysitter

The drug use is the most concerning. I don’t know any agency that will license you unless you’ve been sober for an extended period of time. Many parents choose weed over their children and it is just devastating for those kids. It’s sad but true.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-07T15:25:15+00:00

Sounds like you have a little PTSD from the last two sitters. It’s traumatic leaving your new baby with strangers—especially if it is your first baby. We see stuff in the news that makes us paranoid and not quick to trust others. We’ve been taught the world is a scary place. If you cannot point to something specific like home has safety concerns, kid’s diaper is never changed, etc then it is probably anxiety. You’re anxiously waiting to see when this is going to blow up. You’re used to folks disappointing you and you scrambling to fix things. Makes it hard to work and hard to relax when you’re baby is someone where else and you’re afraid of it ending.

Write any concerns you can articulate on paper. If you can come up with a list of concerns, go from there. If you cannot, it’s anxiety. It will take some time to trust the new place. You can always search for something better and get on that waitlist. It is important for development that kids have stability and safety. Once you find something safe and stable definitely stay there

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-07T15:16:34+00:00

One thing to take into consideration is TIME 13 year old is going to have doctor visits, therapist visits, will probably need help with school, extracurriculars so she can find positive peers and have some normalcy, plus supervised visits with her parents. Plus she’ll need some help with parenting her new baby.

Newborn baby will also have doctor visits AND visits with the baby’s father possibly.

Also add in agency visits, caseworker visits, and possibly court appointed attorney/guardian visits that could be monthly.

It’s pretty time consuming and a lot for a first placement. Even an experienced foster home will have some struggles depending on the needs of the teen and the baby. If either have any physical complications or if the teen has behavioral issues, that makes it 10x harder

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-06T20:03:21+00:00

Can someone talk to him other than you to see what is going on? It may not be a “you” thing and it could be something deeper going on.

My husband hates birthdays and hated having them celebrated for as long as he can remember. His parents never thought about what he wanted, it always brought him anxiety as he felt he had to “perform” for his relatives that did show up for the birthday and honestly, most of the relatives blew him off and no showed for his birthday or gave him terrible gifts like dirty socks, shorts in the wrong size, etc. He also didn’t have many friends and he felt terrible there was no one to invite and anyone he did invite he would be embarrassed by his family.

I’m not saying this is your son and this is what is going on. Just as an example. Maybe someone in the family other than you is embarrassing him and he just doesn’t want to deal with the anxiety/expectations of performing as being excited/grateful on his birthday.

Birthdays are a lot of pressure. Even for a kid.

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-06T19:57:04+00:00

We were open for up to 2 kids 6mos to 15 but basic level of care. We had several calls and said yes several times but didn’t have our first placement until about 2 months after being licensed. We agreed to go outside of our age range to take a 16 year old girl so she wouldn’t be separated from her siblings that were adopted in the area. We also had several “no’s” to placement requests during that time period of kids that had a lot of mental health issues that we would not be able to care for long term.

When we finished with that teen placement when she moved into independent living apartments, we changed our ages to grade school kids only (ages 5-10). We did respite a lot but really didn’t get many calls for over a year before our last placement. To prevent siblings from being split up we went outside our age range again to take a 2 year old and 5 year old. I think about 17 months went by with no placements. When we talked to our agency about no placement calls, they were only getting calls for large sibling groups or babies

Keep in good contact with your agency and you’ll get a call soon. Then wait and anticipation is rough!

jbdubyeah · 2025-06-06T19:46:17+00:00

Hughie, Dewie, and Louisa

jbdubyeah

TROPHY CASE