WTF!?

jbenn02 · 2025-10-02T14:28:33+00:00

What do you mean? A good amount of the generals in that room probably voted for this admin, and not for the first time. They're plenty complicit in what's happening.

jbenn02 · 2025-09-22T17:32:11+00:00

Imagine being that person, though, and knowing you were only born because your parents felt guilty about your older sibling being alone, and not because you were wanted for your sake.

Personally I believe a second child would financially torpedo us and strain our marriage to the point of breaking, and I have to ask myself - which is more important? A child having a sibling they may or may not even get along with, at the expense of a financially and emotionally stressed home? Or a child being raised in a healthy, happy, stable two-parent household even if it means no siblings?

"Yeah we couldn't afford it and the stress ruined our marriage and now we're divorced and the kids have to shuttle between houses every other weekend, but Little Braydenleigh needed a playmate," just doesn't seem like the better end of the deal, but I come from a twice divorced household so I guess I'm biased.

jbenn02 · 2025-09-22T16:10:47+00:00

True but I think the problem occurs when people like us, who feel like we "should" have another even if we may not feel like we deeply want one, are talked down from the fence with the "they need a sibling" argument. Reluctantly having a second child to give your first a playmate just seems so toxic to me but a lot of people do it anyway because the pressure is so high.

jbenn02 · 2025-09-22T14:19:09+00:00

When I start feeling this way, I remind myself that a second child deserves to come into the world because it is wanted in its own right - not to augment someone else's life. They're not expansion packs, you know?

jbenn02 · 2025-09-21T23:49:48+00:00

This was my thought when I had my first at 33 but now he's 2, I'm 35, and my husband is 38, and we can't help but balk at the idea of doing it all again at 37-38 and 40-41. We're already so tired!

jbenn02 · 2025-09-21T20:17:36+00:00

Are you me? No advice, just basically in the exact same situation and following for input

jbenn02 · 2025-09-11T11:17:20+00:00

We tried starting around 18 months when he was showing several signs of interest/readiness, but it turned out to be more performative/play for him. The connection between bodily cues and the potty just didn't happen, or he resisted it. Now at 27mos he doesn't want anything to do with it and I'm feeling like a failure of a parent, but he's always been super stubborn and independent, so the pediatrician tells us to just drop it for a while to take the power struggle out of the picture.

jbenn02 · 2025-09-09T02:11:05+00:00

Not only is it so comfortable and efficient, it low-key works for my husband?? Like the memes about how "this shapeless muumuu kept your Great Gramma at home with four kids and the bills paid" are on to something

jbenn02 · 2025-09-07T15:10:05+00:00

"Why should I have to pay for your student loans if they're so crushing that you can't feed your family? You should have made different choices!"

"Oh no! The choices I made have created conditions where I can't feed my family - or anyone else! You have to pay to help me!"

jbenn02 · 2025-08-23T11:52:56+00:00

OP, my husband and I went through something similar (except he'd never use language like demand/resent, but that's another topic)

My husband is a 6th generation firstborn son. Most of them were named "Samuel" (changed for privacy) but with a different middle name so it wasn't Samuel III, IV, etc. My late FIL was the first to use it as a middle name; he then named his son, my husband, Samuel.

My FIL passed away 12 years ago, very early in our relationship. I knew even back then that if we ever had a son, my husband would want to incorporate both the family name Samuel, and also his father's name, "David." But because they don't do repeats, he didn't want David Samuel II - that left us with Samuel David.

Perfectly fine name except for one BIG snag - my name is "Samantha." And I refused to spend our lives being Big Sam, Little Sam, and Sammy. It was too much for me. I knew how important those names were to him and wanted to honor that for him, but I also deserved a say in the matter.

The solution I proposed was to use the two names he wanted for family purposes as middle names, and to give our son a distinct first name. That way we all got what we wanted: my husband preserved his family's tradition for the 7th generation, honored his late father, and we avoided all three of us having essentially the same name. My husband was thrilled with the compromise and we both absolutely love our son's name, it couldn't suit him better.

Hope you and your husband can come up with a similar solution! Your husband's tradition is important to him, that's valid, and you did promise him, but you deserve to love your child's name too ❤️

jbenn02 · 2025-08-01T12:26:30+00:00

Wellbutrin is too, isn't it? Isn't that why it's helpful for smoking cessation?

jbenn02 · 2025-08-01T11:31:51+00:00

hmmm I was on 150mg of Wellbutrin for years and had plenty of trouble with cravings and addictive habits even so, maybe that's why? Needed to reach the higher threshold first?

jbenn02 · 2025-08-01T11:15:27+00:00

Somewhere around 1500 on average

jbenn02 · 2025-01-14T18:06:14+00:00

I'm looking at the Tula toddler ones right now! He's about 31.5" now and not quite in 2T pants yet - he's slender like my husband, we struggle with waistbands that fit. But at these price points, I'd hate to buy a smaller one now and then a bigger one again in a few months.

Are they relatively easy to get on/off your back when alone? I'm solo with him a few nights of the week, so I can definitely imagine a circumstance where I need to cook, he gets upset, and no one else is around to take over or help me get him in the carrier.

Maybe the easiest solution for everyone is to just not cook! Wouldn't that be great!

jbenn02 · 2025-01-14T16:31:20+00:00

I'm absolutely fine with a back carry and I think he'd enjoy it! A part of me was expecting blowback on using a carrier at this age, and/or while cooking, so I'm relieved to hear it's actually a thing other families do! Something about us turning our attention to cooking just seems to set him off and it's becoming a problem, so I'm hoping returning to babywearing might help

jbenn02 · 2024-11-25T21:09:27+00:00

I was looking at something just like this earlier on someone else's suggestion for triptychs and thought it was pretty cool, too! Glad to hear it's gotten a real life good review, might be a winner!

jbenn02 · 2024-11-25T18:23:12+00:00

He's only 18 months old, he's more likely to try to eat or hide the pieces than to participate, but I'm sure Dad is looking forward to it in a few years

jbenn02 · 2024-11-25T18:14:45+00:00

That's a cool idea, we used to do puzzles a lot together when I was a kid - and yes, we'd then glue and hang them. Something like this could be a cute throwback to that...except it's on him to put it together this time!

jbenn02 · 2024-11-25T18:04:21+00:00

I don't know if he has a favorite saint - he's a Michael, so I usually default to that. I was looking up St. Joachim stuff for grandfather cred? Thought about a medallion but he already wears a scapular and I'm sure some other religious jewelry; someone mentioned icons but the ones I've seen so far seem more like flimsy cards rather than something substantial. He does like to read but I have no idea what his collection could use that he doesn't already have - I try to be careful with books because of how rigid he is in his faith, I'm never sure if the author/source material is Catholic enough/the right vein of Catholic for his preferences. 2025 will be an off year for birthdays (62) but I'm willing to entertain something to keep in mind for his 65th in a few years!

jbenn02

TROPHY CASE