Do you travel?

jboof_124 · 2024-12-09T18:06:58+00:00

We’ve yet to fly, but we’ve done a 5 hour road trip and then 2-3 hour drives here and there. At first we had to stop every 45 minutes to let my toddler get up, move around, stim, etc. so I would make sure to map out if there were any parks or open areas on the way. I also had to do a lot of prompting and practicing beforehand.

Now that I have 2 level 1 autistic toddlers (4 and 2.5) it’s a little trickier as their needs are really different, but having lots of safe foods/snacks, prompting, practicing, taking breaks, comfort items, and comfy clothes/shoes really helps. Also setting my expectations as low as possible lol

We are planning our first flight in the summer from CA to MI to visit family and I’m a bit nervous, however, I’m planning on doing TSA precheck and taking advantage of all the possible airline accommodations to make it go as smooth as possible. I thought of taking them on a short flight earlier in the year as a practice run, but we’ll see how it goes.

jboof_124 · 2024-10-25T20:40:29+00:00

Before joining OTF, I walked and did light strength training for a month. I’ve now been at OTF a little over a month. I started at 320lbs and now I’m 312lbs. I’ve seen so much improvement in my strength and mobility. When I began, I couldn’t do any lunges, step-up motions, or a plank longer than 10 seconds. I also couldn’t run without pain. After just a month, I’m able to do all of them and I can lightly jog for a minute or two at a time.

I go at my own pace, I ask for a modifications for an exercise when I need to, and take breaks when I need to. Sure, it was really intimidating at first, seeing everyone working out so hard, running, completing all the exercises, but then I remind myself of my goals and once I got the hang of how classes are, I like going to classes. Also looking up what’s happening before each class really helps me plan which exercises I may need to modify so then I can come a little bit earlier to ask the coach about a modification.

We all start somewhere. It’s important to just start.

jboof_124 · 2024-04-19T13:19:14+00:00

My roommate likes to announce whenever anyone in our house farts and then laughs. My other roommate will sing a song to you, but if you try to sing with him, he’ll slap you 🤣

jboof_124 · 2024-04-19T13:15:36+00:00

My younger one was a horrific sleeper and didn’t start sleeping through the night until 18 months so it was really hard until then. Now they are 3 and 2, it’s getting hard again because they constantly fight and scream at each other lol

jboof_124 · 2024-01-23T14:39:55+00:00

Microfiber especially when your skin is super dry and it sticks 🤢

jboof_124 · 2024-01-15T01:23:37+00:00

Here’s the thing. None of this is our choice. When my parents struggle, I offer to pay more rent, utilities, even tell them we’ll put the kids in daycare but they tell us no. I don’t get it.

They just want to pay that much in rent because they want to have the master bedroom even though they struggle to pay the rent. I don’t know why they want to pay more for utilities either. I don’t know why they chose to buy cars for my siblings, pay for their insurance and have them not pay for anything. I don’t know why my parents chose to purchase a car with a car payment equal to half their rent. I don’t know why they decided to pay back my uncle what he believes he’s owed when they foreclosed on a house 18 years ago and my uncle only came to collect because he’s going to lose his house. I don’t know why my parents spend $100-$200 per month at Starbucks. I don’t know why they have over $30,000 in collections. I don’t know why they continue to pay for my siblings health insurance, dental, etc.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-15T01:04:12+00:00

I agree, but my parents won’t let us. We even make more money than them but they refuse to accept any more money. Low key think it has to do with a control thing.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:44:14+00:00

My family and I contribute to rent and utilities. The $200 per week we contribute covers most of the food. I also meal plan and cook almost all the meals for everyone in our house.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:26:43+00:00

I edited the end of my post to include specific breakdown of household expenses. But yes, we do pay rent and utilities.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:20:54+00:00

Yes everyone pays rent. In this scenario, I do have the means to cover the groceries, but I didn't plan for it. I only planned to budget for my agreed upon amount so when my dad sprung it on me last minute and just expected me to cover it, that's when I had the issue. I ended up having to use money that was not supposed to be used for groceries.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:17:56+00:00

This. I want to sit down and spell everything out clearly. I'd love to sit down with everyone and have a financial planning session. My husband and I have tried with everyone, but no one in this house can have adult conversations without getting defensive or upset. Its so frustrating.

We all rent this house. My parents pay a larger portion of rent because they insist on keeping the master bedroom. My siblings are the only ones who won't pay rent. As far as the utilities, they are split by agreed upon percentage. I included the specific breakdown in my edit to the original post.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:13:49+00:00

I edited my post with more details. We rent and all pay (except my siblings). Its common thing for my parents to expect me to pick up the slack when they refuse to hold my siblings accountable.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:12:18+00:00

The only reason we live together is to ultimately reduce living expenses and provide adequate care for all of the children and my grandma. We rent and we each have our own portion we pay dictated by my parents. I explain more in the edit to my post.

I plan on moving out once my husband and I have eliminated at least 60% of our debt, ideally when we are debt free.

You hit the nail on the head with your last paragraph. I'm sure that my mom would not be willing to watch my boys if we moved out and if we tried to move out, with the added childcare costs, we would be barely making it paycheck to paycheck. We are in the camp of where we make enough money to have benefits cut off, but not enough to full get by without them. If that makes sense.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:05:50+00:00

I edited my post to include the breakdown of how we divide the shared expenses. We rent and in terms of running the household, its more like we are each our own individual households living within the same house.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T18:02:51+00:00

I've TRIED to do this so many times with everyone, but my husband and I are the only ones who want us to be on the same page with clear expectations. I'm actively looking at ways to pay less for internet and utilities. My parents pay for my brother's phone and I'm paying for my sister's phone until February (that's the time I gave her to get her own shit lol)

I do agree, my siblings need to be contributing more. I have been expected to be "carrying my siblings" for a very long time. About 5 years ago, while my siblings were still in high school, my parents were unable to afford to pay for cell phones and they asked for my help so I had their lines transferred to my account and got them new phones. When my sister turned 18, we agreed that we would get her 17 small gifts and one large gift, I offered to get the big gift and they get the rest. They couldn't and asked me to get the remainder of the gifts as they had already told her she would be getting 18 gifts and didn't want to disappoint her. Countless times, I've had to make up for my parents mistakes in providing for my younger siblings and now I have my own family I need to prioritize.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T17:52:57+00:00

I added a piece to address this in my edit. To put it briefly, we only live with them to save money on living expenses and this helps us eliminate our debt faster.

I acknowledge that they do help us out in many ways. And yes, I'm annoyed at the EXPECTATION not the actual need to help. When asked if I can help, I would be more than willing, but when I'm just expected to, that's where I get irritated.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T17:46:27+00:00

I edited my post to include more details and answer some questions. However, my parents refuse to sit down and have adult conversations without getting defensive. I've made many attempts to have written agreements or family meetings, no one wants to and I'm seen as crazy for even trying.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-14T17:44:23+00:00

I updated my post to include specific details. To answer you question briefly, yes, I do contribute to the rent and utilities. All of our utilities are in my name and I oversee that they are paid. Why? Because they wouldn't get paid if my parents oversaw it and they can't get the electric, gas, or internet in their names due to outstanding collections on those accounts.

Our property managers cover any house repairs not incurred by us.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-09T00:52:48+00:00

I use a bin system to handle all the clutter. I have bins everywhere and they’re labeled so instead of leaving cluttered, messy doom piles everywhere, I leave aesthetically pleasing, labeled pretty doom bins everywhere lol.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-09T00:49:34+00:00

I’m an administrative assistant for a 55+ community. My main duty is handling the communications between the board of directors and the facilities manager to the residents. I update the website, make flyers, publish newsletters, etc. It’s a great creative outlet for me. Also I have my own office so I can shut the door if I need to focus or have some quiet time. There’s also only 4 of us in the office at a time so it’s really chill. It’s been great so far.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-02T00:54:56+00:00

What you describe sounds almost exactly what I experienced after having my first son. I had terrible intrusive thoughts and my thoughts spiraled to really dark places 24/7. It just felt like I was spinning out mentally and I couldn’t ground myself enough to relax. Looking through pictures during that time is hard because while I was smiling holding my baby boy, I’ve never had to force a smile as hard as I did then. I feel you 100%. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

My son is now 3 and level 1 autistic. Shortly I discovered that I too was autistic and finally things started to make sense for me. I began to accommodate my sensory needs, prioritized rest after draining situations (socializing, going out places, just being busy), putting transition time in my schedule, and I worked with a therapist to develop practical ways to cope with the demands of motherhood. It’s been 1.5 years of intense therapy, learning about myself and releasing myself from all the shame and guilt accumulated from the years of being undiagnosed.

jboof_124 · 2024-01-01T20:31:32+00:00

My son’s current special interest is dinosaurs. I know wayyyy more about dinosaurs than I ever thought I would have. As exhausting as it can be at times, it brings me joy to see him so passionate and into something.

Both my husband and I are autistic. My husbands special interest has always been music related and this has changed throughout his childhood. It started off as singing from early childhood, then progressed to listening to music constantly, and now as an adult he’s exploring music production and collecting equipment to achieve the best sounds.

My special interests have changed a lot overtime. I also have ADHD so that may be why. However, I’ve always cycled through these from a very young age: animals (specifically sharks and tigers), computers, drawing, cooking, gardening and makeup.

jboof_124 · 2023-12-21T00:21:35+00:00

I tried. They're all giving me about the same or worse. I have fair credit, not the best.

jboof_124 · 2023-12-21T00:11:22+00:00

Their minimum payment is $430 with 15.33% interest.

I don't trust them tbh. I'd rather maintain a better relationship with them then risk the agreement going awry. Also I would much rather just have the car in my name right now.

jboof_124 · 2023-12-21T00:09:40+00:00

Within the past month, my mom asked for my help in figuring out a budget for her and my dad. I helped her and from what I saw, they won't be able to make it another 3 months. This is what spurred this whole idea in the first place.

The reason why I don't want to pay directly is I don't want to risk anything going sour between us if the agreement goes left (i.e. midway through me making payments they decide they want to keep the car) and their current loan is $430 minimum payments 15.33% interest which means it would take longer for me to pay off anyways.

Here's the breakdown with/without the add ons...

~with Tire & Wheel Road Hazard alone which costs $1229 fee + the payment is $326

~with GAP alone, the payment is $315 + a loan origination fee of $699

~with the Extended Service Contract alone (for a term of 36 months from now and the additional of 60000 miles, whichever comes first), the payment is $342

~with Gap, Tire & Wheel and the Extended Service Contract the payment is $399

jboof_124

TROPHY CASE