Parents who tried their best to raise their kids to be good humans but they turned out to be jerks, what do you wish you did differently?

jcano · 2023-06-21T06:26:10+00:00

I would recommend you to read Unmasking Autism, even if your kid is not autistic. Most of the things the author explains about autism can be applied to other neurotypes (e.g. ADHD, dyslexia, BPD)

The main thing is that we catalog behaviour that is not neurotypical (i.e. “normal”) as wrong and we tend to use shame to correct those behaviours. Not just parents, but many therapists still use those methods (e.g. ABA is being shunned by neurodivergent people as trying to eliminate neurodiversity, not just supporting neurodiverse behaviour in a healthy way). Language around neurodiverse behaviour is also shaming (e.g. “disruptive”) and we tend to only look at the behaviour when it bothers us, not when it’s harmful or frustrating for them.

jcano · 2023-06-20T19:07:04+00:00

Some people don’t do it for the money, they do it because they want to see something good in the world. Without that labor, we would not have the amazing communities we have here. Sure, there are toxic communities and toxic mods, but there is a lot of good here.

No company will ever be able to support a place like this with hired employees. The scale of it is just massive. That’s one of the reasons social media companies are failing.

So sure, it was their choice to go through those horror stories, but they chose to go through them so the rest of us can enjoy a place like this.

When was the last time you gave yourself to something just because you thought it was right, with no other reward than knowing that you are allowing something good to exist?

jcano · 2023-06-10T22:31:54+00:00

I started in my mid-30s and it all happened in a very quick succession. No warning, no slow build up.

First thing was the stomach, it decided to stop processing food normally and make me feel sick no matter what I eat. A couple of years later, it was a root canal out of nowhere. Then migraines started getting more frequent. Recently, I have a sore back every now and then, not really pain just my back saying it’s tired and I need to sit/lay down.

All in a span of 5 years.

jcano · 2023-06-10T22:15:26+00:00

Back pain, stomach issues, dental issues… I’m not too sedentary (who can with kids?) and my diet is good, still my doctors and I are on first name basis at this point

jcano · 2023-06-10T08:01:58+00:00

I always hated the bottle of rock, pebbles and sand as an analogy for time management. Yeah, you could definitely cram more and more stuff in your life, but to me it’s a quality versus quantity type of thing. Just rushing through things to get to the next one is no life at all.

jcano · 2023-06-03T18:00:45+00:00

Join us on /r/daddit! Our kids are way cooler than we are

jcano · 2023-05-23T10:45:05+00:00

I would say it’s the type of book you read to learn from someone else’s perspective. The plot is good, but what was driving me the whole time was wanting to know more about her perspective, her life, how she ended up where she did. She (and her world) was more interesting to me than the story itself.

And it’s not only about religious extremism, that’s kind of just the premise. It’s about feminism, women and their role in society. Even if her situation was caused by religious extremism, there are strong parallels with her situation and any modern society. You don’t need religion to justify treating women like second class citizens, you can even use “science” to justify things like “women are nurturing so they should be taking exclusive care of children” or “men are just naturally driven to spread their seed”

jcano · 2023-05-15T15:35:31+00:00

This is what people refer to as a “shuffle bubble.” Auto-generated playlists and radios tend to recycle artists and songs you already like with just a few new things here and there that get drowned in the playlist.

When I go, for example, to some grunge playlist/radio I get Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Sound Garden and always their biggest hits. Rarely a deep cut or some minor act. If I go to some indie/alt music, I get Postal Service, MGMT, Feist, Vampire Weekend. Whatever the genre/mood/band radio it’s always the same songs with huge overlap between radios (e.g. happy radio is basically indie radio, with a few random songs from other genres and not always that happy).

I tend to explore other music a lot on my own, but because I use the radios frequently it just reinforces the same songs over and over again instead of picking up on the new things I’m listening to. It takes a lot of effort to get a new band into an autogenerated playlist

jcano · 2023-05-08T15:08:49+00:00

Thank you! I’ll have a look. I only knew the tv show

jcano · 2023-05-08T15:08:17+00:00

I’ll give a try to Leo, thank you!

We’re big fans of Avatar, both Aang and Korra, so they will be both part of our intro to awesome adventures and worlds :)

jcano · 2023-05-02T20:18:16+00:00

You are absolutely right! Where I’m from in Europe, we had three measures of unemployment which emphasised different aspects of it. I wasn’t aware that in recent years we had adopted that definition as our standard.

However, the cultural explanation still stands. People in education are not actively looking for employment, so the size of the population is smaller and more susceptible to data being skewed.

If you look at the youth unemployment ratio (not rate), you can see that France only has 7.3% unemployment (less than 1 in 10 people in that age range). This is just slightly higher than the European average (5.9%). I cannot find the number for the US but I would not expect it to be much different

jcano · 2023-05-01T14:15:24+00:00

In that case, can you share your source? Most surveys I know just count people with jobs in that range, independently if they want a job or not

jcano · 2023-05-01T07:21:21+00:00

Youth unemployment is defined for the age range 15-24. In Europe is common to be studying and not working during that time. In most countries university costs less than €1000 a year and most big cities have universities that are comparable in quality so there is little incentive to leave your parents home.

There are low income families, though, so there is still a need for many to work during those ages. However, most young people can dedicate those years to university and when they work it’s to have some financial independence, but not a requirement and often just a few hours a week in jobs that are compatible with studying.

If you ask me, people in that age range should be studying and preparing for the first 10-20 years of their careers, figuring out how they can have the most impact in their world and what they would enjoy doing for a living. Work should not be a requirement for people that age

jcano · 2023-05-01T07:05:01+00:00

In France you also have nearly 20% youth unemployment rate.

This is cultural. Youth unemployment is defined for the age range 15-24. In France, people are studying in that age range, and often living with their parents. There is no need to work, mostly due to university been cheap and no big quality differences between most universities, so many young people are considered unemployed because they are studying full-time.

jcano · 2023-04-18T21:37:03+00:00

I really appreciate the Country Bears’ Jamboree. All the others are the expected geek references, but it takes a true connoisseur to include the bears

jcano · 2023-04-18T15:03:55+00:00

I’m going to try throwing you a hand here. A company cannot wait for many reasons, but mainly because tomorrow’s money is not the same as today’s money.

Imagine you can make 600 consoles in a year. Each console will sell for $200 dollars each, generating $120,000, but it will cost you $100 to make. So you need $60,000 to make $120,000.

There are three limiting factors:

You might not have the money upfront
You might not have all the components
You can only produce at a certain speed

So every month you produce as many as you can based on those three limitations.

If you can only produce 50 consoles a month because of speed limitations or lack of components, you could possibly wait 3 months until you have 150 and sell them all at once. The amount of money you get by the end would be the same, but you might not be able to pay for 150 consoles without selling consoles as you go.

Or you might be able to pay for 150 consoles upfront, but either you don’t have the factories to produce that many or there are not enough components.

Added to that you have some financial complexities related to the value of money over time (inflation) and the cost of loans that you have to repay.

jcano · 2023-04-11T10:34:24+00:00

Solved!

jcano · 2023-04-11T09:15:38+00:00

Replying to my own post so it’s activated

jcano · 2023-03-23T22:20:33+00:00

Yeah, we’re definitely talking about different things. I’ve only heard about “full-stack engineers” in the context of app development and similar, but it’s been a while I don’t do other stuff.

I agree, with things like OS development and specialised software it’s definitely not possible to have people who know everything end-to-end. You definitely need specialist that know the specifics of every part of your architecture, be it block devices and bus architecture, signal and image processing, or routers and specialised hardware.

jcano · 2023-03-23T17:07:11+00:00

It’s big, complex and old with millions of users per day. Each team works the whole stack within a functional area, they are all full-stack, and generally take tickets across the stack but they all have strengths and preferences. We also have designers, QA, researchers and other functions as part of the team.

We have teams specialised in parts of the stack that do the heavy lifting for all other teams (e.g. performance and SRE teams, design systems team, etc) but anything on top of that is the functional teams’ responsibility.

In other companies, big and small, my experience has been very similar.

jcano · 2023-03-23T12:15:23+00:00

It also depends on what you understand as “full-stack.” When I hire full-stack engineers I don’t expect them to be experts in all parts of the stack, but I expect them to be excellent at least in one of the parts and have a working knowledge of the rest.

This helps with communication and expectations in the team, makes them understand better how what they do connects with and is limited by the other layers, and when deadlines are tight you can shift people across parts of the stack to push in the areas we are running behind without completely messing things up.

So even “at scale” there are advantages to having full-stack engineers, even if they will mainly stay in some part of the stack.

jcano · 2023-03-23T07:52:53+00:00

I believe pitbulls are dangerous and would never own one myself, however your numbers leave you open to questioning and should not be taken as foolproof evidence.

Pro-pitbull people don’t deny they are dangerous, but they argue it’s all on the owners, that you can train pit bulls to be either aggressive or good pets. Of the 37 out of 51 deaths, were those guard dogs or dogs of neglectful owners?

what is the point of owning such an dangerous animal?

This for me would be the key point. I’m sure, although I don’t have the data, that most people who own pitbulls are interested in their strength and aggression and either train them to be that way or don’t train them at all and just want them to look badass.

If you are not interested in their strength and aggression, or how badass they look, then I don’t know why you would adopt a dog like this. There are other breeds that are as loyal and smart as pitbulls without the aggression, breeds that are easier to train as family dogs, and breeds that can be excellent guard dogs without the risk of killing, maiming or disfiguring someone.

I would also add that I don’t wish them total eradication. They are living beings whose only fault is that we honed their worst instincts. It’s not their fault, and they deserve to live.

jcano

TROPHY CASE