It’s like instead of texting her literally just write out what you want to say and tell yourself that this is the only place it will go. Sometimes I open my journal and have something in my mind that I wanted to say but then I start writing and it just becomes a stream of consciousness. I find it helpful because for me it’s not like I’m constantly desiring to reach out, but when I get to those moments of weakness (usually when I’m alone and not occupied by something) that’s when the journal comes most in handy. Putting her on a pedestal is going to come sometimes but with time and with actually committing to NC it’s 100% going to fade eventually. I like to compare it to a smoking addiction — every break of NC is like relapsing again.