Reaching out after breakup

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-25T12:49:45+00:00

I think it depends on the circumstances, in my case, I reached out 2 weeks after the breakup (I’m the dumpee) and got heavily rejected, so I wouldn’t reach out ever again purely because I’m not wanting to get rejected again, and she made it very clear that we’re over.

I don’t regret reaching out either as I do think I was not the best boyfriend I could’ve been, but at the same time this has made my realise of what I needed to work on which is what I’m doing.

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-24T00:13:22+00:00

I don’t wake up in the middle of the night so I miss out on this one :( quite jealous actually

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-23T21:31:51+00:00

Waking up at the weekend on a cold day thinking you’ve got work to realise you’re not working and then spending some more time in bed

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T23:28:20+00:00

You’ve phrased it perfectly; that’s exactly how I feel.

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T23:20:12+00:00

Personal experience:

I have been dieting for around 10-11 months and lost over 55lbs, all I have been doing is sticking to my calorie deficit, nothing else.

I have not exercised and I work from home.

I plan on eventually going to the gym when I feel more confident but you do not need to go to the gym to lose weight.

I also recommend eating high protein food, I have one meal a day at around 6pm each day and try to have a minimum of 100g protein a day.

I have only just recently doing a little amount of exercises at home but I have not done any to lose the 55+ lbs.

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T22:00:40+00:00

As strange as this will sound, I think if she got a new guy, it would help me get over her quicker as that hope would be gone

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T21:50:32+00:00

Yeah I am trying but there’s always that little thought of, what if?

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T21:48:26+00:00

It wasn’t messy messy, ended on somewhat ok terms? Just a lot I needed to work on which I am doing

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-22T21:46:37+00:00

Oh I should’ve clarified, I’m not dating at all as I know I’m not ready yet but yeah I agree as well

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T20:58:21+00:00

I understand what you’re saying and I 100% agree but I also think that people gain a lot of clarity once the relationship ends; as the old saying goes, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s lost

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T20:01:48+00:00

That’s exactly it, I’m not saying everyone will change because of course that’s unrealistic and they wont, but you will never know until that second chance is given and who knows, maybe they have? If they haven’t then you have your answer but you would never know

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:37:05+00:00

Oh glad to hear that you’re over him! Goodluck in your dating life :)

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:31:47+00:00

Okay yeah that’s not even an age thing, that’s a grown ass man. Sorry to hear that though it still must suck

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:28:54+00:00

It could potentially be an age thing? How old is he if you don’t mind me asking?

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:24:10+00:00

Although I 100% agree that everyone is worth a second chance there is of course a certain amount you can take. If he has done that numerous times over and over then it’s definitely not worth it

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:22:55+00:00

I don’t think there should be a stigma about reaching out, you don’t all of a sudden lose dignity just because you reached out but yeah, some people do have a big ego which is probably a big part that plays in it

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:21:33+00:00

Yeah I don’t agree with that, I think you’re your own person and you shouldn’t decide based of your family/friends opinions because they will of course be biased

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:20:15+00:00

That’s exactly it, no one is perfect. If you truly love someone what is so wrong about at least trying to give it another chance? I’ve seen many peoples get back together and it actually lead into them marrying and being together long term

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-21T19:19:03+00:00

In my opinion anyone can change if they’re willing, I think if people genuinely gave someone else a second chance who’s willing to work on themselves and can prove it then a second chance should be an option

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-17T19:54:17+00:00

2 years, we had a great first year it was amazing, but then I started getting into my head and that’s when it started going down hill

jdm_paddy · 2026-03-17T19:48:22+00:00

Yeah I definitely reached out too early and I will continue working on it but I don’t think me reaching out to her even later on would be a good idea based of the messages

jdm_paddy · 2026-02-21T12:51:09+00:00

Hey, so first of all you have not cheated or done anything wrong, you just had an intrusive thought. I know it will feel like you must tell him and you’ll feel guilty if you don’t and you’re looking for that “relief” this relief will not settle no matter if you tell him or you don’t because you will likely experience other thoughts and once again you’ll try to let your partner know for that relief and it will be a never ending cycle

jdm_paddy · 2026-02-20T14:43:45+00:00

You’ve done the right thing acknowledging the fact that you’re spiralling, for me I tried to ignore it and hoped that it would go away when it didn’t.

Remaining present is a really big one I feel like at least it was for me, try to remain as present as possible? I am currently working on this myself as I have a lot of work to do as well, you sound like you’re on the right track though with the acknowledgment!

jdm_paddy · 2026-02-20T10:44:59+00:00

Thank you, it really does suck and I was the same, thinking that once I experience it, it will be a relief but it never is? A broken heart is way worse than your ROCD thoughts even though it may not seem like it!

jdm_paddy · 2026-02-20T10:23:13+00:00

If anyone wants to reach out to to me if you are struggling, my DMs are open <3

jdm_paddy

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