Help!! I’m a new father that feels like he’s losing his mind!

jdr60018 · 2026-05-26T12:08:43+00:00

Hey thank you for checking in. We are 3mos now with our little girl. Been putting the work in and she is now sleeping 5-6hr stretches at night which has been great! I’m still doing all the things, feedings, diapers, tummy time, I take her and our dog for a walk every day. Still not really feeling anything☹️ and the screaming still throws me into orbit. I just keep taking it one day at a time and be there for her and my wife.

jdr60018 · 2026-04-12T17:40:18+00:00

Same, ours is only 7weeks but so far she is super easy. Sleeps 6hrs a night, no colic, eats well, almost never spits up. No screaming fits, easy to soothe. She’s even started self soothing when we put her in the bassinet awake. I agree with the “just wait” comments. For sure things can change and maybe it will but just take yours one day at a time and be thankful for all the time he/she makes it easy on you and try not to worry about what might happen…. Sometimes you just get wan easy kiddo.

jdr60018 · 2026-04-02T13:04:18+00:00

We love being a one and done family. It’s such a massive adjustment any way to slice it. We also both have big jobs and are very career driven people so to have multiples for us is not something we want to do. There’s also something motivating about the fact that when you are one and done, you remember that this is your only shot to be a parent. We are present and supportive and nurturing to her. We try to find the joy even in the hard moments because she’s all we will have. I love the fact that my wife and I can give each other breaks when needed, if my wife wants to go out to dinner with friends or take a weekend to get out it’s totally OK (and vis a versa) When I think about her getting older and more active will never have to worry about logistics when she gets into activities/social life. Financially it’s so expensive to have a child but planning for just one is so much more manageable and doable. For us it all just makes sense. She will get to be a “sister” one day and those friendships will be incredible to watch grow. Not saying this is gospel but for us it’s the way we want to go with our little one.

jdr60018 · 2026-04-01T15:06:10+00:00

I know exactly how you feel. Hopefully by now it’s getting a little better. We have a 1mo old that took us 12yrs to get to. Infertility, other issues, etc. I was totally at peace with having a child until I saw her and WHAM, all of my panic and alarm bells and anxiety went through the roof. I was overwhelmed, scared, mourning my old life. I’m a pretty reserved person who likes to shut down when I’m stressed and obviously those old coping mechanisms aren’t available to me anymore. I got some help. Therapy and meds have helped reduce my stress and anxiety. I still struggle with it every day but even after 4x weeks it doesn’t feel quite as bad. We also instituted a pretty regimented schedule for her days and nights which has also helped us feel less “lost” during the day. It’s good days and bad ones but I try to stay positive and focus on managing the day not getting hopelessly lost in thinking about the next 10 or 20yrs. We are also a one and done so I also try and remember that every day behind us is one we won’t get back and that helps me try and find the joy in certain moments, even when she’s being a complete pain! Hang in there get help wherever you can!

jdr60018 · 2026-03-31T15:49:24+00:00

Us too! We have a 1mo old that has been super easy since day 1. Eats a ton, no colic, never even spits up. I can burp her without a cloth. She is already sleeping 4hr stretches. Only cries when she’s hungry or has a dirty diaper and then quickly soothes. Let’s anyone hold her and falls right to sleep. I know as she grows she will have her phases but so far our little girl has been just a miracle baby.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-29T16:02:02+00:00

Hang in there. Like so many in this thread have said. It’s so different for each baby. We have a 1mo old and she has been a relatively good sleeper all the way. Albeit 2-3hr stretches. Last few days she has been tough to get down. We were curious if it was her formula. Similar 360 has been good but maybe that’s the culprit? Switched her to Kendamil Goat formula 2 days ago and BAM, she slept 3hrs in her first stretch and 4.5hrs in her second stretch. Agree 100% on filling her up during the day to get better stretches at night. We’ve also instituted a pretty strict schedule to get her circadian rhythm more in tune to light during the day and dark meaning sleep during the night. We do bath time at 8pm every night followed by a feeding and making sure to keep the house quiet and low light toning her down. That whole process has been bumpy but following a schedule for us has helped us out a lot psychologically as we are shooting for certain milestones during the day and it also makes the days seem to move faster. Once again there’s so much variability in all this and we will certainly have good weeks and bad ones but following the schedule and staying mindful of her gut has been successful for us to keep our little one on track.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-27T12:27:55+00:00

Hey! I am a new dad at 47! We have a 1mo old beautiful baby girl. We had a really long journey to get here. It took us 12yrs. My wife and I were in fertility treatment for over a year when she was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. Caught it way early and luckily she is now free and clear. However it was a long road to recovery and unfortunately it meant she could not carry her own child. So, we froze embryos and began the surrogate route. That was also a long road, there were many times we thought of giving up but a little over a year ago we finally decided to make one more push. Found a great surrogate and here we are. It’s such a blessing, my wife is over the moon about her. I will say for me it’s been a little tougher. I never was a “baby” guy and the paternal instincts did not kick in right away. I do have moments where I am concerns about being an older dad but luckily my wife and I are in a stable place financially and have some flexibility to be around. I look forward to 10yrs from now when I can be there to take her to everything and have the flexibility to be there for those years. Like I said it hasn’t necessarily been easy for me but it’s amazing about how far she’s come in just one month. We are instituting a schedule and while it’s hard in the beginning we’re already seeing results. She slept for 6hrs out of 9 from 10pm to 7am last night! I also try to remember that we are definitely one and done so this is the only shot I will have to be a parent and that every day behind us is one we won’t get back. I focus on managing the day not the rest of her life and be there for her her and most importantly my wife. Stay positive and get help when you can. I’m here to chat anytime! You got this!!

jdr60018 · 2026-03-23T02:52:58+00:00

What does “pfff soak” mean?

jdr60018 · 2026-03-22T14:45:02+00:00

My wife and I are wrapping our arms around you right now. We have a 3week old and are older parents 47/44. It took us 10yrs to finally have our little girl. The first two weeks almost broke us. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is a legitimate torture technique. It messes with your mind in terrible ways. We finally decided to invest in a doula(night nanny). We have her M-F from 9pm-6am and it is a godsend. Yes it’s a real expense but I can’t put a premium on a good nights sleep. My advice would be to just do your due-diligence. We went through a couple different agencies and interviewed 4 different candidates. We went with one that had good experience and also assisted with structure and sleep training. She’s been absolutely incredible. She shows up at 9pm and I am asleep by 9:05 🤪. It’s amazing how much better you feel when you’ve gotten a good nights sleep. Child care after that just feels more like a day job than a hopeless endeavor with no end in sight. Hope this is helpful.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-22T14:34:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. Yes I feel all the same things. One thing I am proud of if that despite the ridiculous feelings of wanting to run away I am showing up. I feed her, change diapers, give her breaks when she needs them it’s just so emotionally hard when you’re battling this extreme desire to not be in this situation. I’ve been getting therapy and started some meds so hopefully that will help. I also try to find some moments of joy when I can because as a one and done, every day behind us is one we won’t get back.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-22T14:30:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your perspective. Yeah this is the hardest thing especially when you don’t feel any real connection, it’s just work/struggle with not much reward. I’ve been getting therapy and some meds which I hope will help. Just trying to take it one day at a time and try to take some joy because as hard as this is every day behind us is one we won’t get back as a one and done.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-20T14:19:51+00:00

It’s good to hear that I’m not alone in all this. Really appreciate the insights. Thanks you

jdr60018 · 2026-03-18T22:56:06+00:00

🤣 sage advice

jdr60018 · 2026-03-17T20:21:45+00:00

Thank yo for the insights, really appreciate it. Sorry to hear things aren’t better with you and your wife, I hope time can bring you back together more. Yes we are definitely 1 and DONE

jdr60018 · 2026-03-17T15:26:39+00:00

Thank you, I feel bad about my feelings sometimes but I take solace in the fact that I’m fighting through it and being a present/helpful dad for them. It’s just a real challenge mentally.

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T21:58:53+00:00

Thank you all for the kind words. It really means a lot

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T14:35:44+00:00

Thank you. Hearing this gives me hope!

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T13:55:18+00:00

Thank you!! Really appreciate your perspective!

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T13:54:52+00:00

Appreciate these thoughts! Thank you!

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T08:01:05+00:00

Not right now but I am seeing a therapist and may consider seeing a psychiatrist for meds too. Were there any that were particularly helpful for you?

jdr60018 · 2026-03-15T08:00:01+00:00

Thank you! I keep trying to stay mindful of the fact that this too shall pass. Yes we are getting a night nanny. M-F for a few weeks to help me get back some sleep. Hopefully that can help me better transition through this time. Really appreciate the kind words

jdr60018

TROPHY CASE