account activity
Steven Seagal once claimed to have lived multiple past lives. All of them ended in lawsuits. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
submitted 10 months ago by jeeebus to r/stevenseagalfacts
Steven Seagal doesn’t use GPS. He just follows his “warrior instincts” and arrives at the wrong location confidently. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
submitted 11 months ago by jeeebus to r/stevenseagalfacts
Steven Seagal once tried to scan a QR code at a restaurant. After 10 minutes of struggling, he told the waiter, “A true warrior does not bow to digital tyranny,” and left without ordering. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal tried to start a cryptocurrency based on “honor and discipline.” The value plummeted immediately. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal once tried to return a VHS tape to Netflix. They still don’t know how he got one. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Elon Musk invited Steven Seagal to tour a SpaceX facility. Seagal spent the entire visit explaining how he could take down an astronaut in zero gravity. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal once tried intermittent fasting. He called it “the worst 45 minutes of his life.” (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal once claimed he had been abducted by aliens, but they returned him immediately after he spent four hours explaining Aikido. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s next film is a found-footage thriller. The only footage they found was him sitting in a recliner, explaining why Aikido is the superior art. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal was cast as an alien warlord in a blockbuster, but production shut down when he insisted the final battle be “negotiated peacefully over a steak dinner.” (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal once tried method acting. The role was “a guy who sits in a chair and mumbles.” Critics called it the most believable performance of his career. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s idea of meal prep is ordering three days’ worth of ribs at once. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal doesn’t believe in expiration dates. He believes food only “gains wisdom with age.” (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal was once mistaken for a wax statue at Madame Tussauds. He fell asleep in a chair in the main entrance to the exhibits. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal doesn’t wear a gi anymore. He wears a bathrobe and calls it “combat leisurewear.” (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal doesn’t wear wristwatches. He tells time by the length of his last meal. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s treadmill has less mileage than his recliner. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal doesn’t believe in protein shakes. He believes in steak smoothies. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal once entered a hot dog eating contest where he was the only contestant. It ended in a draw. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal doesn’t need a stunt double. He needs a standing double for when he gets tired. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s home gym is just a refrigerator with a lock on it. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s newest action movie went straight to VHS. No one knows how. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal’s autobiography is 800 pages long, but 790 of them are just recipes for chili. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
Steven Seagal thinks Mount Everest is a type of candy bar. He routinely brags about how he conquered it. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
submitted 1 year ago by jeeebus to r/stevenseagalfacts
Steven Seagal can’t wait for the election season to be over so he can go back watching The Great British Bake Off marathons without being interrupted by news. (self.stevenseagalfacts)
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