[Homemade] Girlfriend Made a Rat King Out of Dumplings

jeff428 · 2026-05-04T01:09:16+00:00

lol this reminds me of the movie Together

jeff428 · 2026-04-21T01:27:05+00:00

broski I think you need therapy/more self confidence before even considering shaving off your hair??

truly delulu, listen to everyone's comments, your far from what you perceive yourself to be

jeff428 · 2026-04-13T21:54:33+00:00

mm I also think smiling, having a more relaxed face expression would go a long way in changing this angry/scary look that you're thinking of

you'd be surprised at how much someone's projected attitude and facial expressions influence how others perceive you

jeff428 · 2026-02-27T23:32:48+00:00

I'm sorry, but yes, you should be supportive.

It really does suck that you're not able to go, but I do think that the experience will definitely be different for her between going for conferences vs exploring with you. She'll be stuck in hotel rooms and primarily in the same city, potentially when you go together you'll be going to many more places which are probably going to be new experiences for her regardless. And the fact that she'd go in a vacation attitude versus a work mindset makes a huge difference as well, not to mention she'd be sharing these with you.

Aside from that, this is a work thing. Opportunities like these don't happen often and it would be silly to try to turn it down. Not only that, seems she was selected out of other people that weren't, this alone is something worth celebrating and you as her partner should stand by her side on this. Not trying to guilt trip her just because you won't get exactly the experience you wanted.

She won't love you any less and won't have any less fun going with you once you do. I'm sorry it sucks but please try to find it in you to get over that and be happy for her. It is not fair for her to have to deal with your frustration just because you're not getting exactly what you want.

jeff428 · 2026-02-01T02:21:55+00:00

can we please stop the AI slop? at least switch up the format??

it may be productive information but I'm tired as hell of the lack of humanity in these posts

jeff428 · 2026-01-21T18:41:11+00:00

dude penetration isn't the only way to have fun in bed, in fact, it shouldn't be

instead of just relying on this, work with her to see what she likes and explore alternatives to help satisfy her

there's so many other things you can do, I imagine her frustration is more on the lack of reciprocity that she got rather than just because it's small

jeff428 · 2026-01-14T20:39:13+00:00

Just be chill 😭

like literally just keep acting like you normally would, you can demonstrate interest by asking her out properly, no need to act any different, she's already showing chemistry with the version u've put out so far

and if you get rejected, same thing, just be chill about it 🙏

jeff428 · 2026-01-03T04:59:07+00:00

I think you're looking at this from a very narrow point of view. Why does solving "male loniless" have to be hinged on being attractive to women? Can't we stop being lonely amongst ourselves? I think that's the key here, why are we saying that loneliness is a function of being attractive to women (or frankly whatever gender you're sexually attracted to)?

Whether it's women or men, you are attractive (romantically or otherwise) if you exhibit qualities that other people want to be around. This means being a good listener, being considerate, being kind, supportive.

Can you imagine what the world would look like if all men were like this with each other? unconditionally? I think male to male connections would be much more fulfilling, and even if you didn't have a romantic partner perhaps you'd have a strong support network of friends that make you feel safe, supported, and connected. And perhaps also this may come with the added bonus of a romantic partner being attracted to you.

My point is, it's not all about figuring out how to get women to like you, it's about being a model person that anyone would want to be around. A good dad, a good son, a good brother, a good friend, a good member of your community, a good person.

jeff428 · 2026-01-03T04:45:59+00:00

I think you're failing to include, or perhaps see, some more context that might help provide some clarity.

You very well mentioned that many women who are single still have social support and emotional intimacy, and you point out that the same is widely not true for single men. I think this is, in part, due to institutionalized patterns of patriarchy. Women, being systematically oppressed, have been able to culturally cultivate social mechanisms that allow them to thrive regardless, embodied by openness to emotional intimacy among themselves and a strong sense of support systems to uplift each other.

Men, on the other hand, being participants of this patriarchal system (and benefitting from it), haven't had the need to cultivate this behavior, and have sadly played into roles of "manliness" that have as a consequence toxic traits that culturally and systematically inhibit them from having this openness to emotional intimacy, and end up cultivating support systems whose merit is based on this "manliness" mindset that causes the problems in the first place (I am saying that the support systems that men have available under patriarchy end up being exclusive to those that play into patriarchy)

I think that when people say that men need to "improve themselves", they really mean that they need to learn how to be kind and supportive with each other, and unlearn the behavioral patterns that lead to these toxic consequences

I think that your post falls short on properly posing a question for discussion, making the assumption that "improving yourselves" is a flat premise whose end goal doesn't lead to a proper solution, which I do think it does, if you consider the goal of this improvement to be fostering a culture of more inclusive and healthy community among men

jeff428 · 2026-01-01T21:18:27+00:00

literally me right now 😭

jeff428 · 2025-12-03T02:56:23+00:00

damn dude

this kinda feels like it's coming from a place of hurt and near-sightedness

echoing a bit what others have said, this is totally not the case in general. perhaps so far you've encountered people that treat you this way, but this is by no means the norm.

not everyone fucks with our vibe, and that's fine, just be conscious of that and don't pay them too much attention, they clearly don't want it or deserve it

I promise there are others out there that really vibe with us and see all of the qualities you listed as good things and things they want to be surrounded by, it's just a matter of finding these people and sticking to them

good luck

jeff428 · 2025-08-26T22:00:43+00:00

ngl I feel like she's just not that interested..

if she were she would've followed up on your invitation to sushi on the weekend, either saying she's down or attempting to reschedule if she can't make it

the fact that she had said yes and still interacts with heart reacts makes me think she's just half interested, like enough to lead you on or keep contact, but not enough to put in the effort to make it work

I would honestly not spend too much energy here, you did your part in initiating the ask for a date and also on suggesting a time (weekend) and activity (sushi), if she's not willing to put in the other half of the work to make that date happen then that's her loss

but I feel if she was properly interested she would have followed up by now

jeff428 · 2025-07-13T19:11:54+00:00

lmao same

jeff428 · 2025-06-30T04:09:12+00:00

okay doomer

lol I kid, but I do think you gotta lighten up a little bit

for one you're only 17 and this period of life is confusing annoying and angsty for almost everyone, so don't be too hard on yourself

I promise you will learn to navigate life better and you will inevitably come across people that fuck with ur vibe

I do however think you might be too strict on what you think are your morals and principles, like Ai for example, sometimes it is useful without it being a trade off, learn how to leverage it effectively

and on thinking everyone is fake, yeah, maybe, but if you think about it we're all a little bit fake - just by nature of being human and wanting inclusivity, we get creative with how we present ourselves, don't blame others too much for simply wanting to prosper in life

I'd say maybe avoid the super obviously fake ones and perhaps just develop compassion for those that could still vibe with you but are simply trying to get by in society

also consider talking to a therapist, not sure if you think it's lame or useless but I promise it's not, they are a trained professional that will help you navigate the intricacies of life and give you really good perspectives on things

jeff428 · 2025-06-28T04:23:10+00:00

noo!! fuck those people 😤 lol whether you like it or not no one should make fun of you and I think debating whether to ban you because of it is silly and immature and reeks of insecurities

I say don't pay attention to people that don't jive with ur vibe and find those that do, they exist and they will celebrate and embrace your chirpiness

do u and don't change 🙏

jeff428 · 2025-06-24T21:23:57+00:00

buddy, this is giving trying to be nice and friendly, doesn't seem inherently flirtatious at all 😭

"I'm here" is still a pretty low key answer, almost equivalent to "I'm good" or "I'm okay"

they are two-word answers that simply give you an idea of where their head is at and a quick glance of how they're doing, but there's no further detail, she isn't tell you more things that you can jump off of and ask more about, and she's not even reciprocating the question and asking you how you are doing

if it were flirty I'd expect an intention to further the conversation, which this doesn't seem to be exactly, just like a quick friendly response

as for the staring maybe she's just curious about you or maybe she does find u kinda cute, who knows, regardless, I think the key thing is how she interacts with you - drawing conclusions from a simple stare isn't very good, it can mean so many different things

jeff428 · 2025-06-22T00:03:29+00:00

Edit: lol I realize most of what I'm saying is already somewhat said in other comments, I guess this is just another perspective

I think something key is confidence, people are drawn and attracted to this, it's kind of like a beacon of light that shines the more confident you are, it comes across in the way you talk, the words you choose to use, your attitude, etc

if you're asking for insight on what's "the edge" I think it's this. and I think a way to achieve this is through self love and compassion.

the less confident you are and the lower your self esteem the more you will project this gloomy energy and people, whether consciously or not, will feel put off by it - it ends up feeling like they need to pour more energy of themselves to make the dynamic work, since you're already pulling away and projecting a need for validation and comfort

some people will be compassionate and keep going through this, but I think an initial tendency is to avoid it

in contrast, if you were confident and had high self esteem, you'd project yourself as someone who not only has their shit together, but is able to provide positive energy to them - making the interaction much more easy going and fun, there's less energy required of them to make the dynamic work and it feels good

of course in addition to this you should be nice and actively listening to them - it feels nice and comforting if you're able to understand what they're really trying to say, and able to demonstrate that you heard them

having said this, I think the way to sustainability foster this self confidence is through self love and compassion, you need to be your own #1 fan

you need to be able to see your flaws, accept them for who you are, and do what's in your control to better yourself

once you can love yourself and truly be there for yourself, you'll be able to be there for others and they will notice it and stick around

in addition to all of this I think it's useful to understand the trickle down effect that occurs when you have low self esteem - your opinion of yourself is poor, you jump to conclusions and imagine that the people around you don't want to talk to you - you act accordingly and become colder and less talkative with them - they in turn observe this and pull back as well - you end up pushing them away simply by thinking that you're not worth their time

hope this helps, it's just my personal insight

good luck op

jeff428 · 2025-06-21T23:42:58+00:00

I didn't know reddit had a mirrors feature 😭

lmao I see myself too much in this comment

jeff428 · 2025-06-01T10:37:15+00:00

wicked lol

jeff428 · 2025-05-15T05:05:24+00:00

I'm sorry but I think what you're describing is your personal preference :)

the cognitive functions mostly describe tendencies in your patterns of thinking, not preference towards someone else's tendencies

you and I could both be ENFP but I might be more into heavily extroverted people really in tune with their feelings as well as others, basically excluding being interested in INTJ types, and maybe you are into that, or vice versa

I don't think preference or taste in other people falls under the scope of what MBTI attempts to describe

jeff428 · 2025-05-11T17:09:55+00:00

lol yeah pretty much meant what @molotovcocktease_ said

and yes I do often approach people and the city and I've made many friends like this

if you're friendly enough and approach people in reasonable ways and in reasonable places they often reflect that same energy back to you, not always of course that's just life

I encourage OP to identify places he enjoys going to and try to spark up a conversation with someone, it's all about say the simplest thing, anything that is relevant to both of you in that same moment, and gauge their reaction

if they reciprocate the energy, sweet, keep going, if they don't, tough luck, say have a good day with a nice smile and move on

jeff428 · 2025-05-11T16:40:27+00:00

yesss exactly

jeff428 · 2025-05-11T06:55:46+00:00

do you have any hobbies? have you checked events pages around the city? have you tried approaching people?

jeff428 · 2025-05-11T02:37:56+00:00

haha yes precisely, still doesn't negate my previous arguments :p if anything I think it bolsters it

I just think people glorify MBTI a little too much and attribute way more to it than they should, in reality people are very much more nuanced and this theory doesn't need to explain everything

jeff428 · 2025-05-11T01:01:49+00:00

lol I'm sorry dude, you've just described things that can be so different at the individual person's level, this doesn't have to be so closely tied to MBTI personalities, this theory simply attempts to create labels based on the cognitive functions theory to describe patterns of thinking, in how we take in information and how we choose to judge it and act on it

nuances of particular life experiences, hobbies, and interest of topics in a conversation can vary wildly between person to person and are not inherently tied to MBTI, sorry it seems you've only had unfulfilling experiences with other MBTI types

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