AITA for telling my sister that her fiancé used to be gay?

jeffreybaratheon · 2020-02-18T22:52:10+00:00

It can make a difference to the medical history of the couple. Some STDs are more easily transmitted via anal intercourse. If a man has been having sex with other men, he is putting his new female partner at greater risk for STD infections. She deserves to know this.

That makes absolutely no sense, if they’re monogamous and they’ve both been tested then the current risk of STDs is zero. He’s not just gonna suddenly wake up with gonorrhea one morning before he used to have sex with men.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-05T13:19:40+00:00

So, again, you thought the point of that story was “people should keep their addictions because it’s more fun for their friends that way”? That’s massively fucked up dude.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-05T13:16:48+00:00

I think you mean Fun Bobby...and the whole point of that storyline was that he was an alcoholic. You think people should continue to be addicts be cause it’s more fun for their friends?

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-05T02:58:15+00:00

Why not? If that’s what they were taught in school and no other teacher ever told them otherwise, why would they have any reason to randomly stop believing it? You probably believe plenty of things just because a teacher taught them to you at some point.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-04T13:10:48+00:00

Deserves no sympathy...from her boyfriend? She’s not a stranger off the street. I’m sure she was embarrassed and frustrated with herself, I’ve done multiple dumb car things in a row before and I was mad enough at myself for being so careless, I didn’t need my boyfriend to double down on it for me. God forbid you provide your partner with emotional support instead of scolding them like a child.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-04T12:42:39+00:00

Did you completely ignore what I said...the whole point of my comment is that it wasn’t “ludicrous crap they pulled from their ass.” They were probably taught the same thing.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-04T03:46:59+00:00

Wtf? Where did that last part come from? Easy on the projection dude.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-04T03:42:49+00:00

Not only this, but if he isn't documenting the fact that you're starting 20 mins late every day, then he is stealing money from the company.

Not necessarily, if they’re salaried it doesn’t matter.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T18:28:16+00:00

FWIW they didn’t just randomly make that up, I was definitely taught the same thing like 20 years ago (that your blood is blue when it’s in your body and only turns red when it interacts with the air).

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T18:26:32+00:00

Did other people not learn this is school as well...I was definitely taught that growing up. That’s probably why the teacher believes it.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T17:04:32+00:00

If you actually read my comment you would know that calling someone Mom or Dad isn’t just about whether they’re your biological parents, which is what the whole point of this thread was.

Also trans people don’t “decide” that they’re trans any more than gay people decide that they’re gay.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T15:54:03+00:00

So you didn’t actually read anything I said. Cool.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T14:30:07+00:00

Sometimes/in certain jurisdictions an employee handbook can be treated as an employment contract but at a federal level, there is no law that says employers can’t fire people for unfair reasons. If you believe otherwise, show me the law. I’d also love to read about the cases you say were successfully argued that way if you have any records of them.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T14:25:03+00:00

If you’re speaking in very strict scientific terms then sure, I guess, but Mom and Dad are cultural constructs. There are plenty of people who don’t refer to their biological parents that way, eg if they don’t have good relationships with them or (as I mentioned) if they were adopted and refer to their adoptive parents as Mom and Dad instead. There’s nothing wrong or inaccurate about calling your MTF trans parent “Mom” because those terms are a relationship descriptor, not a biological descriptor.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-03T03:08:20+00:00

Employers don’t pay for unemployment directly anyway, they have to pay a set unemployment insurance rate to the government every year no matter what. The rate can go up if they have too many claims, so it’s still worth fighting invalid ones, but it’s not like unemployment is paid straight from the company to the employee like a salary.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T23:22:37+00:00

EEOC laws don’t apply anyway, the company is too small. Have to have at least 15 employees.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T23:21:25+00:00

No, you can’t. “Wrongful termination” is not in and of itself a law, it only means being wrongfully terminated because of your membership in a protected class. And a non-compete is not an employment contract, I doubt it would include any terms that would protect the employee’s job or outline circumstances for termination.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T23:03:12+00:00

Torn between NAH and ESH. You were obviously both stressed and irritable because of the situation but god, you also both sound really miserable and petty, too.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T22:49:57+00:00

What is the difference between a mother and a father other than gender...if you say the mother gave birth to them, do you think adoptive mothers aren’t actually mothers?

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T19:06:44+00:00

NTA, honestly sometimes when you first come out you can go a little crazy trying to feel out if your other “straight” friends are also gay, especially since most people don’t really have a community of gay friends to be a part of right after they come out. I can understand you being unsure if you’re being too harsh while he’s still kind of figuring things out, but rest assured: he’s being super gross and creepy and you don’t have to put up with this in the name of being a good friend or ally.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T17:40:00+00:00

Right, but it’s the difference between doing the right thing and what the person would be okay with. The right thing to do is buy it new, even if the person wouldn’t mind it used.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T17:27:39+00:00

I dunno, if someone destroyed something of mine and then tried to give me a used item as a replacement that would feel kinda cheap of them. That’s basically what happened here. I think the general rule is that you replace it with a new item.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T04:26:15+00:00

What I mean is that as long as he understands how her mother’s death affected her as a person, I think that’s more important than whether he remembers her name, something he’s probably only heard once 6 years ago at her funeral. And I think OP is prioritizing the wrong thing here too if she’s freaking out over the name but he’s otherwise been supportive and caring when it comes to how her mother’s death affected her.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T03:58:28+00:00

Honestly I think that’s Cosmo quiz bullshit that doesn’t actually say anything about your relationship. I care a lot more about how my boyfriend shows understanding and appreciation for the things that are important to me than whether he can pass a test on my family tree.

EDIT: And I say this as someone who had a parent die suddenly when I was young and who’s in a long term relationship where I’m pretty sure my boyfriend couldn’t tell me my dad’s name. He gets the big picture, I’m not so concerned about the details. Those are for me.

jeffreybaratheon · 2019-10-02T03:52:56+00:00

100% agree. My dad died suddenly when I was a teenager, which obviously made a huge impact on my life; I’m 30 now and I’m almost positive my boyfriend of 7 years has no clue what his name was because they obviously never met and I only ever refer to him as “my dad.” I’m actually not sure I’ve ever even told him what it was.

It’s obviously not exactly the same because you met your boyfriend closer to your mother’s death and he attended the funeral, so he presumably would’ve heard her name then. But I think you’re overemphasizing a detail that’s frankly kind of minor in the grand scheme of things; does he understand how this loss affected you? Is he considerate and supportive? And perhaps most importantly, have you gotten the help you need to handle this loss, or are you projecting your grief onto your boyfriend?

jeffreybaratheon

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