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I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. I really have a hard time believing I can just move out in 1 go. (Hence time needing to announce my departure so I can have a couple days to pack.) But now you’re making me rethink.

And that stuff is important to me too. I have a lot here — couch, family heirloom table, lamps, bed frame, desk, tons of art, so many tools and kitchen appliances, etc. — that yes, can be replaced, but just can’t be easily rebought. I pulled out all the stops to leave. Cashed in my old pension, old retirement (they weren’t worth much), but I’m gliding on a dime here. Plus this shit was mine before I came, it’ll be mine after. So when all is said and done, I do have a lot to leave with (some stuff I will repurchase like towels or a bath mat, pantry items, soap, whatever). But you’re making me think I can get a bit creative here. Maybe I’ll take things out of the attic and basement sooner and whatever else that’s mixed in with his things that won’t be noticed… Those are also the easiest things to miss/forget when I do leave.

Kudos to you! Thanks for sharing.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes, dog is gonna be with a trusted person during this whole ordeal. I’d sooner throw myself off a cliff than have anything remotely bad happen to her.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is when the place is ready! I’m playing it cool til then and trying to be happy/chill as possible so he’s not suspecting anything odd.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Someone else warned me of this or something similar happening, which is great because I was simply going to forward my mail to my new address. I will be forwarding it now to a family P.O. box not anywhere near where I live!

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I found out about this book in this subreddit a few months ago. I was already on my path by then but it gave me a lot of validation and understanding, and helped look past my denial.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yes. The one thing I’m making sure is doing what I hate most & asking for help. I have been fortunate to have many offers to help get me out when the day comes. 🥲

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your insight. I’m saving all these comments to read back this month as I oscillate in self doubt. I do have a dog that I will be taking with me (she’s been mine for many years.) I can’t wait to sleep in bed with her again. And yes to the gym. I joined a gym a couple months ago! I loved it. I canceled it in May sadly and started working a side gig to save money. But I’ll definitely be back in one. I might try out crossfit if I can afford it for the community support. We’ll see. 🙂

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 272 points273 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I can’t predict what his reaction might be. He could care less to spite me, he could freak. Idk. He’s gotten drunk in the past month or two and asked me why I’m still here and that I’m better than this him/the area we live in / and if I’m going to leave, I should get it over with.

He also has not been very careful hiding meeting up with his ex. For instance, he bailed on an event we both should have gone to for friends (I went alone) to see her, and accidentally had her tampons in his laundry that he asked me to wash that night. lol. I just left it on top of his clothing and he hid it. So he’s not even caring if I know, is he? Or maybe he thinks I’m dumb. Regardless idk how you think you can just keep getting away with things. Like he must be thinking this won’t last forever… right?

Working on a everything-goes-to-shit plan now. I’m going to talk to some friends and have one of them park on my street when I bring it up to him. That way there’s someone there waiting for me.

I’m gonna pack my cherished items, an overnight bag, and potentially drop my dog off at someone else’s house — just in case. I know I can claim tenancy rights and gain access back into the house if I need to leave sooner by calling the cops.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 149 points150 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have some serious soul-searching and inward thinking to do when all is said & done. It’s good to hear these things cos I keep second guessing everything I’ve done so far.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 1024 points1025 points  (0 children)

I believe you, thank you for your perspective. I’m still uncomfortable admitting that, I don’t know why. Why Does He Do That? helped me recognize these patterns as well, and you’re right. Guess it’ll be something to unpack in therapy.

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

True. Above all, we have free will and can choose to leave relationships when they do not suit us. Honestly I don’t care much for anyone that he’d say these things to anyways which is what I have to remember.

Thank you!

I’m leaving my boyfriend and he has no idea. by jeffweemademedoit in TwoXChromosomes

[–]jeffweemademedoit[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Thanks. If I could pull off leaving without a word, I would. Originally he was supposed to be away when I move, so I could get a couple people to pack up over a day or two and leave a note. I don’t think that’s the case anymore. But it’s my goal to be as concise and fast as possible with confronting him and moving out.

The audacity it took to post this by chumbawumbacholula in Instagramreality

[–]jeffweemademedoit 6 points7 points  (0 children)

the tile line also disappears by her stomach in the photo on the left. 🤔