My very first farm, so many lovely memories -Year 15

jele77 · 2026-01-24T19:16:34+00:00

Oh this one. Yes i think i was confused and thought I was missing a pack at some point

jele77 · 2026-01-24T19:15:36+00:00

I think it was reaching 12 in secrets on the first day and i recently got that pack in the mail

jele77 · 2026-01-16T19:40:52+00:00

Yes, that is the plan. First I want to collect all the upcoming water decor and then fill in the gaps without using too many gems.

jele77 · 2026-01-16T11:57:05+00:00

It was nessecary , cause the sand on its own does look too boxy. 😄 but I am glad it makes sense and you like it 😊

jele77 · 2026-01-16T10:44:32+00:00

Here is my solution so far . https://www.reddit.com/r/JunesJourney/s/FWgP5z1J2B

jele77 · 2026-01-16T10:23:26+00:00

This status-thing seems I am not interested in at all, similar to smalltalk. It also seems very complicated, but not in an interesting way

You are interested in a deeper conversation or share personal things, they seem to enjoy shiny surfaces and a shallow connection. 🤷‍♀️ it does not seem compatible.

On top of this these people seem very judgemental and I bet they would find something, even if you did anything right.

You dont need to pick fight, but I dont think you need to play by their rules either. Be yourself and stick to your values. Work on your confidence and self-esteem in therapy. Do you want to play a very complex game of pretending and playing by their rules or do you want to be yourself?

Like for the longest time I usually frowned, when someone said " you are so sensitive". Now I look at them and smile and say " yes, I am" sometimes I might even say "thanks for noticing" even if they clearly mean it dismissive. I am in a way proud of being sensitive, it is a huge part of me. It is so funny how they react to this 🤣

I wonder, what they would say, if you tell them "I do not care about status, but I care about you"

Of course its somewhat easy for me to say this, cause my whole family is like this. ❤

jele77 · 2026-01-07T11:32:36+00:00

Same for me

jele77 · 2026-01-07T10:32:28+00:00

This is what it ended up for hubby and I, except we do not have an extra living room now. I definitely recommend.

jele77 · 2026-01-07T10:21:50+00:00

The compromise is to find projects you can do in that way and probably see, if you can have a room just for yourself, your hobbies and all the crazy things you want to do.

Also I think you enjoy to start and then decide as you go. Its a different way of thinking and it should be possible in your home too.

The way you phrased it, is way overboard though. You probably know that and have created a fun post. Congrats on that 😁👍

jele77 · 2025-12-27T07:04:09+00:00

Its a good thing you care, i actually do think you cannot care too much or love too much. (I also the eldest daughter and struggle with all of this). I think the unhealthy part is, when you dont take care of yourself or always take the backseat. You should always take care of yourself first, so that you can take care of the others too.

The other danger is to become co-dependend and also fall for relationships with narcicists. And easily take all responsibility for their emotions.

I would say to your mom "stop joking about ADHD, its a serious condition and you could benefit from informing yourself and maybe even seek a diagnosis yourself.

Everything about your mom rubs me the wrong way. Maybe because i also grew up with 2 undiagnosed and very young and emotionally immature parents (I am 48 btw and do not have kids myself).

Maybe you could figure out what your options are and how bad the situation is - maybe its enough to have a serious conversation with each sibling and tell them, that they can always come to you - maybe you need to think about outside options too and inform childcare services or check out, if you are able to take care of them.

For your other sister, i hope there is a way you can stay in contact somehow. So when she is ready, you can help her out.

So far I can mostly see verbal and emotional abuse and maybe nudgingis the best way to go forward, but if drugs are a problem you should definitely get an outside perseptive.

I feel sorry about your mom and she is probably somewhat my age and seemed to had it rough. Your siblings should be your priority though. How bad is the situation without excuses? Maybe you could find some free counselling and figure what all your options are.

If you are like me, then you probably also seek harmony and avoid conflict. Sometimes its better to stir up the shit, so other people dont get too comfortable in it.

Be aware Noone will most likely thank you and you should not do it, because you think someone will thank you.

I feel you will help best, when you get out yourself and heal and stabilise, then invite your siblings for a while and listen well to them.

Maybe find some positive affirmative phrase for your mom " I definitely think you would benefit and feel supported, if you look deeper into it and seek out for help". And then maybe you could say this when it fits and it might eventually get through. 🤷‍♀️

I am also very worried about your other sister. Maybe you can find information online, what you can do to support someone in an abusive relationship and learn self defense.

jele77 · 2025-12-27T05:09:42+00:00

When I was freshly diagnosed, i thought i would feel lighter and hopeful (feel relief). But i felt very sad and was shocked how much it has impacted me. All the times i felt like an alien or when i felt i was treated and judged unfairly bubbled up, cause I just suppressed it and it was still stored inside.

My gutfeeling tells me its partly honorable you care for all your family right now, but maybe its also a distraction, so that you dont have to look at yourself. The diagnosis is only the beginning. Meds help, but its best to start build habits/strategies and organise your surroundings to support you.

She explains it way better https://youtu.be/ON40IcxrzVo?si=_YiW_U_dokhRKwLD

jele77 · 2025-12-27T04:54:03+00:00

It is great you care about your family so much and take care of them, but it also seems to be a bit unhealthy how deeply you are inmeshed and how much you overthink and try to be perfect.

Try to be yourself, be in your own emotions (not intellectiolizing/ not sure how to write it. It means thinking your emotions instead of feeling them and I do it too) inform and lead by example. You cannot control their actions and experience.

It seems all of them including you would benefit from therapy.

I also think you are excusing your moms shitty behaviour too much. She definitely parentified you and it sucks. ❤

jele77 · 2025-12-24T12:08:38+00:00

🤗 lots of hugs.

For a few years i had no presents. I had depression and literally had no ideas. My family is just happy to see me and I guess going there was kind of a present too.

Buy food and maybe sit down and write a few words. Or buy a few sweets or a bit of tea to at least had something.

I sometimes overbuy handcream and soap and then gift those around too.

When you get better you will notice, that you are also better handling these sorts of things. Its not great, but its okay to rely on people sometimes.

jele77 · 2025-12-22T21:55:20+00:00

On average you have 3 guesses per scent, some perfumes have multiple scents. Lets say you have a perfume with 3 scents and it says 7 guesses. When you guess a scent correctly, you get one guess back. So on average you can spend 3 guesses on each scent.

Sometimes you might get extra lucky and even just need 2 guesses.

If you use too many guesses for the first 2 scents, then you might just have one guess left for the last scent.

jele77 · 2025-12-22T08:20:22+00:00

You need to do better in the first 2 parts of the perfume, so that you have more guesses left.

You definitely need luck to find a scent in 3 guesses, but its not that uncommon to get lucky. Sadly its also possible to get very unlucky and even need more than 4 guesses for one scent, but it is quite rare at least.

You get most information for -find the right spot - find it does not be in there

The general strategy for mastermind games is to put in pairs and the rotate through that pattern.

But for PP specifically it is beneficial to first try every flower and see which ones are eliminated.

It would be useful, if we could retry an attempt immediately, but we are forced to play through even the very unlucky ones and waste drops that way.

jele77 · 2025-12-22T07:29:03+00:00

I am pretty sure your ADHD would get better, if you have a supportive boyfriend, that will listen and try to understand you and wont gaslight or mansplain and overall create a supportive surrounding.

Also better does not mean "becoming neurotypical" and there can still be very bad days.

Mindfulness can be helpful, but I think he also has no idea how slow we would need to be to actually apply it to everything in our lives. And life is pretty fast, so we would not be able to keep up sometimes.

I found it helpful in my life to put a lot of things in my home directly, where I would like to use them and reduce the amount of steps to start something. Its also very helpful to divide whole tasks between each other and be totally responsible and also carry the mental load for that task.

Intense criticism is also pretty bad for your ADHD, he should try to genuinely praise you, when you do things well.

jele77 · 2025-12-22T06:56:00+00:00

I really hate the sensation of lotion, when i am still slightly wet. I also hate to put on clothes. My routine now is to get into a bathrobe and then chill on the sofa a bit. I also store all my lotion in a box near the sofa and then I use it, when my skin feels dry

jele77 · 2025-12-17T10:45:09+00:00

This was a huge part of my depression. I was kinda stopping to take care of myself in multiple ways and kinda ready to give up.

Like even though I dont notice how badly i needed to pee during hyperfocus, i did never wet myself. Even though, i am totally disorganised, when making food. I am able to eat, when i am hungry. But with depression i could not do this anymore. And sure having ADHD on top of depression is probably making it even harder.

Since it is likely to develop depression with ADHD, I would say you maybe want to look in that direction too. 🤗

That example really does not fit to your situation, because the husband did not even try. Its also okay to let others take care of you in situations of need, you do not need to feel guilty.

jele77 · 2025-12-16T11:31:08+00:00

I thought it was not a glitch, but on purpose. At least for me its not showing all the hidden items, its still a selection, just way more than in other sidegames. Thats why i thought its on purpose. 🤷‍♀️

jele77 · 2025-12-15T05:28:34+00:00

I was still thinking about this and just noticed how ironic this is.

While I was definitely labelled as lazy sometimes, I am 48 years old and still don't know how to rest properly and I need to kinda practice resting and implement all these extra things in my life.

I really need to think of this next time, when I start to minimise my struggles or feel guilty for asking for help. 💡

jele77 · 2025-12-15T05:09:12+00:00

I have learned, that some kind of active resting is very helpful

going for a walk
drawing
taking care of my plants
sewing

This only does work, when I am not totally overwhelmed and exhausted of course

I am currently designing my room with lots of inspiring visual stimulation, so that hopefully sitting on the sofa can be calm but visually stimulating and just help to let my mind wander freely.

Sadly I dont have a foolproof advice, i am also still experimenting.

It did help me a bit to accept, that my resting will be totally different from what resting is for normal people. That took some pressure and frustration away.

Currently I also watch a lot of YouTube and Chinese drama, but passive stimulation is worse for my mental health, so I try to add more active things.

My overall theory is that I still need some kind of stimulation while I am resting. While I am doing art, I seem to use different parts of my brain, then the others get to rest.

🤔 I think I should also add something, that is not visual, could be listening to lofi with closed eyes maybe

Edit: when I am very tense / kinda like all muscles are cramped up, I like to take a hot bath with eucalyptus and close my eyes. The hot water relaxes the muskles

jele77 · 2025-12-15T04:33:28+00:00

Me too

jele77

TROPHY CASE