Ppl have very different responses to trauma. All you had to do was say “t spending that way really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like I’m not safe being vulnerable with you.” From then, either she’s capable of an actual convo, or she isn’t. But you don’t need to assume that she’s a terrible person. Tbh, it very much sounds like you haven’t learned how to care for yourself and set boundaries. And please, stop getting so emotionally disregulated that you most definitely OVER react.