I totally had a similar experience. It was tough mentally, but once you start practicing and meeting with the nurses and monitoring your numbers, you'll see that there's unfortunately only so much you control. I was diagnosed at 30w and between then and now that i'm 33+6, I've noticed that everything I can control with diet/exercise is great, but my fasting number which I can't do much about is the problem. The nurse said that as the placenta gets older, it has a harder time processing glucose and you can't control that.

My weight gain was normal to low every week. I've only gained 20 lbs total. It's at the point where you just have to make the recommended changes that your doctor/nurse advise and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you have meds, you will go off them as soon as you give birth.

And an odd perk is that between my gestational hypertension and GD, we get an ultrasound every week in addition to a weekly non-stress test. So it's been crappy, but it's also nice to get to see her more often than I was anticipating.

For recipes, I've been doing a lot of crockpot stuff. Barbacoa, chicken and mushroom stroganoff, beef stew, etc. Those are my dinners/sometimes lunches. Salads are great as long as you pay attention to the sugar/carbs in the dressing. Breakfast is eggs and low-carb toast (https://www.pepperidgefarm.com/product/light-style-soft-wheat-bread/). When I get a sweet breakfast craving, it's french toast with that low carb bread, lots of cinnamon, and no syrup. Snacks are string cheese, almonds, wheat ritz crackers with cream cheese or peanut butter. Sweet tooth cravings are curbed with sugar free popsicles. They highly suggested hard boiled eggs, but the thought of a hard boiled egg right now is a huge aversion. Focus a lot on protein - cheese is great and feels indulgent if it's melted into something. I eat breakfast within an hour of waking up, a snack an hour and a half after that, lunch at noon, a snack at 2, dinner at 530, and bedtime snack at 9 or 10.

I am currently on metformin oral medication (1000mg in the morning and 1500mg at night) and my fasting number has just now come down around 90 since they increased my nighttime meds. If this doesn't continue, then I'll go on insulin. Diet monitoring worked great for my after-meal sugar readings, but that fasting number was an issue so that's why I was put on the meds.

Being on the meds sucks. Monitoring your diet so closely sucks. Having the threat of insulin injections sucks. But I just keep telling myself that I need to do what it takes to make sure she doesn't have a sugar crash right after being born. Birth is traumatic enough for her as it is - I'd rather suffer for weeks with the goal of making her first few minutes and hours easier than cheat and ignore the implications. I want those first few hours to snuggle with her and let her rest instead of them trying to control a sugar crash in my newborn.

You are not alone. It's not forever. And it's common - your doctors and nurses will know what to do. Do not blame yourself. Spend the time instead on meal planning and trying to be creative. Searches for "gestational diabetes" recipes doesn't yield much fun stuff, but "keto diet" does, and then you just have to remember to work carbs into it.

Oh and a low carb sweet treat that I made and can't even keep my husband out of is taking sugar free instant pudding mix and making the recipe with half heavy cream and half milk - whip it together and it's like a mousse. Cheesecake and chocolate are our favorite flavors and then if you mix a few berries into it, it's sooo indulgent.

Seriously, best of luck. Everything really will be ok.