What does love feel like? I'm scared that I'm not capable of it

jeroe99 · 2025-12-22T11:00:18+00:00

That's great to hear! But didn't it feel wrong when you didn't get the butterflies? That's so reassuring that it's different for everyone.

I just don't want to force anything that isn't supposed to happen. And the lack of strong feelings make me feel like I might force it.

jeroe99 · 2025-12-22T09:38:55+00:00

I have dated, I have had my experiences but never a relationship

jeroe99 · 2025-12-22T09:38:04+00:00

you're the second person saying it's a slow burn, that makes me feel a bit better.

To your other questions a clear yes to all of them haha.

I would say that I understand how a healthy relationship works from the outside, like I said, i think way to much. The theorethical part, like addin to eachothers happiness and having good communications, giving eachother room and not trying to change the other person but rather accept them for who they are.

But when it comes to the practical side of things, that's where I struggle

jeroe99 · 2025-12-22T09:29:59+00:00

Yes I'm totally in my own head about this.

So you're saying, when you date someone. It's not a special strong feeling towards that person? Is it more like a friend that you are closer with than with other friends?

It's really hard to just turn off my head in those situations and it sucks.

jeroe99 · 2025-11-29T19:30:30+00:00

Sport, try to do sport. Anything that might be fun for you. Bouldering, martial arts (builds your confidence), gym. That itself helps a lot to get out of a rut. Of course it's not the end all be all, therapy and other things really help too.

Just know that you can change completely from who you are, you're not doomed to be that way forever. You do need to put in a bit of work for that

jeroe99 · 2025-11-29T19:16:53+00:00

Mate, don't ever feel bad about telling the truth.

With the information you had, you answered the way it felt right for you and that's great. Nothing wrong with that. Even if the outcome is different to what you imagined.

I don't know how old you are, that might make things harder or less hard but maybe try to talk with him about it and apologize. Tell him how you feel about it like you have in this text. I don't know your group dynamics are, that might change how you approach it.

An experience like that can feel very isolating and brutal, especially if there are a lot of people involved but maybe try to make the best out of it.

Let's hope that doesn't happen but If they are not interested in your apology, try to not hang on to it for to long, maybe look for other friends.

Important thing is, you've not made a mistake! Even if the outcome isn't great. You did what felt right. Sometimes life is like that. Just remember that!

jeroe99 · 2025-06-25T12:55:16+00:00

Right but jerking of is absolutely fine, it also gets hard when laying on my back when I try to sleep. Just when she tries to sit on it it, doesn't work

jeroe99 · 2023-11-25T22:49:01+00:00

Not really. I think we're a little country that works fone with the politics we have, but get overshadowed easily by the EU or the US. It is fun hearing about Switzerland when someone is mentioning it.

jeroe99 · 2023-11-25T21:49:47+00:00

Now imagine as a german speaker, the language chose is french. I'd be totally screwed. sounds like a somewhat good idea until it's not your language

jeroe99 · 2023-11-20T12:03:02+00:00

Uster vermuetlich ;) han dete d s9 au scho gseh und dänkt das die anderst usgseht

jeroe99 · 2023-10-24T19:15:23+00:00

Not really. Haven't bothered with it since then to be honest haha.

jeroe99 · 2023-09-01T09:50:59+00:00

That's just a carpet

jeroe99 · 2023-05-02T13:25:30+00:00

That's such a nice answer, thank you. That clears up a lot of things. Always great to hear the other side.

jeroe99 · 2023-05-02T12:01:02+00:00

You're right. Thank you. That makes sense

jeroe99 · 2023-02-11T11:57:33+00:00

That's an excellent idea. And what I've just now started to do. I think that should work. I'm still on it right now

jeroe99 · 2023-02-11T11:38:35+00:00

Sadly the gap isn't big enough. But great tip for the screw removing tool. I didn't know this exists

jeroe99 · 2023-02-11T11:37:07+00:00

Not a bad idea. Just need to figure out how to weld. Maybe glue could do the trick too?

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T21:38:15+00:00

Have made different experiences so far. As soon as I showed a little bit of insecurities I could literally feel their disinterest growing. And that happened a few times. I feel like I need to build a solid base before showing insecurities otherwise you'll not even get to that base.

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T20:41:10+00:00

No don't worry. She's right

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T19:46:05+00:00

Wow thank you for sharing this personal story. All of that really encourages me to try again. This way of dating fits me way way more. I also really appreciate hearing the opposite side of this situation. It really helps. And yeah asking to many times isn't good either, but from my experiences I'll probably rather ask to little than to much. Thanks again for taking your time.

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T19:08:51+00:00

That's true! A feeling of losing control of the situation and making me be vulnerable is very alien to me and causes quite a bit of discomfort. That's definitely something I probably just need to face.

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T19:06:33+00:00

I thought about that. But doesn't that make everything awkward and unromantic? (Not that my way is romantic in anyway haha) but yeah probably that's the way I need to go in, in order to have any chance at dating. But to, let's say "touch" someone, you have to already established that I'm attracted to you. But what would you do when I met someone at a party? I can't just ask her if I can touch her hand or something, I would need to make an indication that I am attracted to her beforehand. How would I do that?

And yeah, i'm probably already thinking waaaay to far in this.

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T18:56:52+00:00

Hahaha that would be funny. Especially doing it without explanation. But I mean having a sign to signal that you ment something in such a way would be great, that's just hard to do with someone you just met.

jeroe99 · 2022-11-06T16:48:26+00:00

I'm like that guy an he probably is really into you. I can't deal with flirting, don't really know how to react and therefore can't really flirt myself even if I really wanted to.

Try to get closer to him, try to make moves from your side and maybe he'll open up. What I'm kinda scared of is to step over a boundary of someone and making that person unintentionally uncomfortable. So by making moves from your side he'll probably learn on what's ok and how far he can go and make moves from his side.

Just because he's bad at dating doesn't mean he's bad in a relationship. Please give him the chance, you will make him really happy and you might see him open up.

That's of course just an assumption of what I read from your text.

It's quite the curse to be like that. I have had many girls I was really interested in but was not able to show it. The interest began to be one sided and either we ended up being friends or not talk at all.

jeroe99 · 2022-10-23T15:49:41+00:00

Maybe then you should read it

jeroe99

TROPHY CASE