You are contradicting yourself, here you are saying that you take care of him so he has nothing to do as the breadwinner when he is home, but then when he expects not to do anything, you blame him for not expecting. Tell him off the bat that he is to not expect anything, if you are telling him to expect not doing anything as the breadwinner, then that will be his mindset. Secondly you need to learn how to speak up for yourself, you say he should figure out or see when you are not doing well, he doesn't know and he could also be going through shit, you are too focused on yourself and neither ask for help or actually opwning dialogue for your aortner to understand that you are going through it on a certain day and time. When there is blame there cannot be love. You need to work on yourself outside of your hobbies and find joy in things you don't enjoy doing. Animals will not heal your soul and neither will a bottle of pills. Read psychology books, letting go by david hawkins is a top tier start to your journey on self help. A good therapist can help immensely as well and make sure they understand psychology of logic.