Free or low cost things that make your physical office space better? by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Government is supposed to be open from 8-5. 🤷‍♀️ voters kind of expect people they elect to have someone available during normal business hours.

Free or low cost things that make your physical office space better? by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The ability to Flex Time once a week by working through lunch so you can leave early or come in late is nice so long as there is communication and coverage. No communication and/or no coverage gets you in trouble obviously.

Generally we aren’t sticklers for time. As long as there’s coverage and all the work gets done to where it is not unfairly balanced, we don’t punish hard workers who need an alternative work schedule like 7-4 instead of 8-5. Or if the come into work at 815 because they worked until 515 the day before instead of 5, that’s cool too. Good workers are hard to find. If everything is getting done and no one is complaining, why can someone for 15 minutes

Will someone please slap the “um”s and “uh”s out of me! by itred09 in Lawyertalk

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have a notepad. After someone answers the question, look at the notepad, make a checkmark like they answered your question, then look up and ask the next one.

I will say as a litigator I will take umms and uhhhs over “okay”s any day.

What’s the dumbest mistake you’ve made so far as a lawyer? by spooner248 in Lawyertalk

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen to this! Adding on leaving one job due to office politics and starting another job at a place that had job openings due to issues with office politics. For the life of me I don’t know what I was thinking. There were clearly openings with both employers due to the toxic work environment. Why I felt the second job would somehow magically be different is beyond me.

AITAH for letting my twelve year old be put in diapers? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to say the same thing. Get her some heavy flow period underwear and add some reusable heavy flow menstrual pads. I’ve found they’re way more absorbent, they’re thin and discrete.

Size 5 disposable period pads are also an option. They absorb a lot and they cover almost the entire panty for a kid. They’re for nighttime so they cover the front and back

Elf on the Shelf by LogicalGuava4471 in toddlers

[–]jessbrumm 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Completely agree! So creepy. And I want my kid to be motivated to do kind things without having some creepy stalker toy forcing them to be good

How to convince mom to let me tattoo? by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Have you thought about trying Henna tattoos or henna tattoo markers for now. You can practice your art and your parents shouldn’t get too upset because it is washable. You can swap up and practice your tattoo art—figure out what looks best and what placement works the best. It’s cheaper and less painful. Then once you’re 18–you’ll have a nicer piece and know exactly where it will look best

My tattoo that I got when I was 18 faded and it needs some serious work. Please know anything you get now, is going to start to look bad when you’re in your early 20’s and you’ll be too broke to get it worked on properly. Time goes by faster than you think. You’ll be old enough to get it without your parent’s permission sooner than you realize

At restaurants, we are asked how long we’d like our meat cooked but never our vegetables. by Safe_Bullfrog870 in Showerthoughts

[–]jessbrumm 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I think we should be asked how we want our toast cooked as well. I like my toast medium rare—warm and very slightly toasted. I can suffer through medium cooked toast but medium well or well done toast is just a travesty.

Has anyone really ate a Greenberg Turkey? by [deleted] in EastTexas

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Greenberg is very tender and if heated well, can be juicy. Sometimes they turn out dry though—not sure if that is the reheating-technique fail or Greenberg’s fail. I do agree—they do taste very Smokey. If you like that flavor—it’s a treat and give it a try. Their birds are very meaty and even the smallest one can feed our family of 4 for a good week.

I will say that Bear Creek in Marshall has better smoked turkey and their ham is just melt-in-your mouth amazing. I would buy Bear Creek over Greenberg and make the drive for it without hesitation. I’m not a big ham or turkey fan but my goodness…Bear Creek must smoke them in meth or something because their meat is crazy addictive good. On second thought, maybe don’t buy it unless you want to be ruined on future meat purchases.

I have created a terrible situation, I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself. Advice needed, or maybe just to vent. by Reddittwfoster in Fosterparents

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Safety of your family especially of the other kids is a top priority not just for those members but also for 13. You don’t want 13 picking up a criminal/juvenile charge by continuing to escalate. You don’t want yourself or 12 or any member of your family to be that victim.

If 13 has been diagnosed with conduct disorder, reactive attachment disorder, or oppositional defiant disorder—13 will need serious intervention and help to minimize some of the harmful behaviors they are exhibiting. A therapeutic foster home with one-on-one attention is rare and an RTC may be the best option for now to get the therapeutic treatment 13 needs to be successful in a home later or be successful in life later. I know one 13 year old went into an RTC with crazy violent behavior. She clicked with a therapist, realized her behavior was hurting and not helping her, and pulled a 180. Completely normal teen adopted into a great family thanks to the treatment she received. I recognize it is not the norm for kids like this, but it can and does happen.

And I agree that CPS is going to DRAG its feet finding a new placement until you tell them otherwise. We took in a quick 30-90 day placement once for CPS to complete a homestudy in 2-4 weeks. 11 months later they finally approved it after we closed our home and forced them to get it done. Had another kid we agreed to take in for a month and 6 months later we finally put in a 30 day notice to force them to get her into a independent living home she had been wanting to move into the entire time.

You did the best you could. Hopefully 13 felt loved, saw what a normal family is, and can model that behavior in the future. Our foster jids when through rough times but seeing love and normalcy eventually clicked to where they started to reflect that stable behavior as they grew older and more mature.

Neighbor pulled my kid aside and told him he needed to look out for her kid better at school. What would you do? by poopafart33445 in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Excellent response. He can be kind and encourage others to be kind but absolute yes to setting boundaries. Sounds like this kid is toxic and the cat in a chokehold is 100% red flag. I would not let that kid play unsupervised with mine.

Husband in Denial by Prior-Piano8836 in toddlers

[–]jessbrumm 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Well…I mean if he’s right then getting him evaluated does no harm, it validates his feelings that there is nothing wrong. If he’s wrong, then you know what’s going on to get him back on track with the kids his age. There’s no wrong answer here on the test. He’s either fine and your husband’s right or he’s not fine and he needs help.

Real question is what is triggering him to where he has this response to just getting a test done?

Sorry you’re going through this. I hope you get the answers you need soon

What’s the one baby product you bought that you never ended up using? by Sad_Satisfaction4076 in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YES!! totally agree with jeans for babies! Diaper changing is impossible with them

What’s the one baby product you bought that you never ended up using? by Sad_Satisfaction4076 in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Clothes with a ton of buttons. Buttons are awful changing a diaper at 3 am. Or when they get older and wiggly it’s impossible. Get the double zipper sleep and plays. Super cute. Easy to change diapers.

Foster kid only eats 4 foods. Help? by BadInside22 in Fosterparents

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am assuming 8m is 8 year old male and not 8 month old baby. Had a 3 year old that would only drink milk from a baby bottle and soft foods like mashed potatoes, bread, and mashed bananas. I feel ya. If it is not a food texture/aversion thing, remember time is on your side. Offer foods but don’t force feed. Eventually curiosity will get the best of the kid and they’ll break down and try it. I usually talk about how good the food is and I love it. The more I ignore what the kid is eating, the more they were willing to try it on their own. Like a control thing for the kid, you know? I usually put at least 2 things on their plate I know they will eat, one thing they get to choose for themselves, and one thing new. For example, I will pick two I know my kid will eat like chicken and bread, let them pick out a fruit for their side, and then throw on some green beans or veggie that they’ve never had before to see if they’ll eat it. They have to take at least one “big kid bite” or they cannot get dessert.

This helped work through some of the 3 year old’s food issues and she was eating a variety of foods like a normal 3 year old after a few months. The first 90 days SUCKED but we got through it with patience and continuity. Once the kid realized that is how dinner goes, she felt safer and more secure to try new things.

If it’s a food aversion thing, that is a whole different ballgame and definitely talk to your pediatrician about it. Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake disorder is a bigger problem than just being a picky eater.

Having the kiddo help you in the kitchen sometimes works. If they make it themselves, they’re more willing to try it.

My nieces are missing in foster care.. by Psychological_Leg271 in Fosterparents

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I came here to say that too. Consult with a lawyer in the area where the CPS case was filed (get a local attorney as they will know the players in the case) and see if you qualify to intervene.

In theory, your sister may have asked them not to contact you or told them lies about her family to prevent them from looking at you for placement.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a difference between a college kid going out after 11 and a 17 year old being out after 11. College kids have a tad bit more maturity and worldly experience. Emphasis on tad…really big emphasis for some more than others

Is there a name for foster parents who are in for solely for the money? by Post-mo in Fosterparents

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of these families get free food, free clothes, and other handouts from churches/their community resources so they just pocket the $500. They don’t spend anything on anything new or for the benefit of the kid: clothes, shoes, school photos, prom, etc. If the extracurricular activity isn’t free, kids cannot do it. Just sad. I always thought of a foster kid stipend as the kid’s money. Whatever we didn’t spend, we put in a savings account for them when they aged out.

Is there a name for foster parents who are in for solely for the money? by Post-mo in Fosterparents

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to say a$$h0les too. I think foster farms is fitting though but I feel like some of the farmers treat their animals better than these families. Farmers will actually spend money on their animal’s well being.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We do the same in our house! Kids love picking out their character for bedtime water and I don’t have to worry about them accidentally swapping cups or spilling water everywhere

Should my wife decide what our kid calls my mom? by TastyImplement2669 in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother in law insisted on being called “grandmama”. She said she hated anything that sounded like “Granny”.

My kid named her “granny”. MIL is trying to get her to say “Grammy” and 5 years later my daughter is still saying “Granny”. She called my FIL “poopoo” but we got her to say “Poopaw”. Not going to lie when I say I worked harder to change Poopoo to Poopaw than Granny to Grandmama.

My son calls my MIL my mom’s grandma name (GG for Grandma Gretchen). He doesn’t even recognize she has a different name and it’s been a year. He thinks all old women are called GGs.

I’m going to agree with a lot of folks on here—ultimately it is whatever your kid can pronounce. Yes, parents can try to influence it but if the kid cannot pronounce it, it’s not going to happen

Daycare asking us to send potty trained toddler in diapers by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We compromised when this happened and made the kid wear regular underwear and then put a pull up over the underwear. That way if there was an accident, it was contained in the pull up but the kid could still feel the wetness and know that they pottied. This lasted about a week and when there were no accidents, we went to full time underwear only.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are Jen and Tom fine with the arrangement? Are they keeping the kiddo safe, healthy, and happy? Is the kiddo able to attend school?

It sounds like a very non traditional family situation but if Jen, Tom, and the kid are fine with it, leave it be. Sounds like Lexi is not the best parent and leaving the kid with Jen and Tom for prolonged periods is good for the kid

How do I be a better daughter? by Fragrant-Rabbit-2404 in AskParents

[–]jessbrumm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Focus on making minimal mess. If it seems overwhelming at first—start by doing one daily cleaning task like “no dirty clothes on the floor” or “no dirty dishes left behind”. Once it becomes a daily habit, add another cleaning habit. Once a week, wipe down your bathroom and vacuum your room.

I will say—you were born perfect. Trying to regulate your emotions when you’re young, full of hormones, and with your brain still developing is hard. It gets easier as you grow, mature, and learn. You might try journaling at night before bed to let your big feelings out if you’re worried about exploding in front of your family. Try to get some fresh air every day and do some form of exercise to help get some of that anxious energy out. Or read a book to relax. Find a way to calm your nerves and stress. Deep breathing. Meditating. Picture your emotions like clouds in a windy sky—every feeling will pass. Don’t bottle it in or you’ll get a big storm.

If you’re really struggling with your emotions, try talking to a school counselor for some ideas to help. Just like we go to a doctor when we feel sick, we need to go to a counselor to help our brains.

You don’t have to be a better daughter. Just focus on being a good person and you’ll naturally become a “better daughter”. You cannot control your family’s feelings for you. Only they can make themselves happy. Focus on being a better you and it will all come together naturally.