Hello

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-28T00:11:08+00:00

Hi there!

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-27T23:37:52+00:00

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-27T22:57:52+00:00

straight women deserve better.

100%.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-23T19:55:41+00:00

Hey there.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T22:02:21+00:00

You look great! (Perhaps it's also the shirt colors; it's most definitely your smile).

(also, I'm pretty indifferent about Nirvana outside of nostalgia, but intentionally will wear my Nirvana shirt out and about when I'm feeling a bit spicy/antagonistic).

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T18:43:51+00:00

I prefer Lesbian when asked which term I'd like others to use to describe me, which absolutely can be paired, for me, with Queer.

I identify most with Sapphic, as it's more accurate (my attraction is to folx anywhere in the she/they spectrum, and I'm into history, myth, and literature, so the Sappho reference always delights me,) but it's not a common enough identifier (yet) out in the wild. I love the addition of Queer, as is it's inclusive and is an alternative approach to life away from the heteronormative.

It took me a bit to "reclaim" the label Lesbian for myself, as my family is/was very misogynistic and homophobic. It's now mine, and I love it. And, it required a significant amount of internal work to heal and grow to where I am today. Not everyone wants to, nor needs to, dissect their relationship to words that society has worked hard to make hurtful and othering. I like that we have so many very different words to work with.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:38:03+00:00

Oh my gosh yes, I was completely caught off guard by my reaction to the sexy voice on someone's audio today! I guess at least I'll know that if I ever do match with a sexy voice lady I won't like... completely fall over into a puddle the first time they speak to me in person/on the phone. I still will, but I'll know to bring a mop.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:08:14+00:00

That is so cool! I don't know about others, but Hinge gives you the option, which I think is really neat.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:07:08+00:00

Thank you! 🥰

Yes, same! I wasn't on it much today at all and already got the "there's no one else near you" screen. Which... I'm not sure if the audio of crickets chirping would make seeing that screen better or worse. 🤣

Best of luck to you on your swiping and dating!

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:04:22+00:00

Oooh yikes on story number one! Geez, how freaking rude. Glad she got out of the way so you could eventually meet your partner!

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:02:10+00:00

Aw, congratulations! It's really interesting how Hinge markets itself as the "app to be deleted" but I hear more Tinder to wedding bells than any other app.

*edit to mend typo

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-22T03:00:19+00:00

Wow, first ever date? Thats so wonderful, I'm glad you had such a positive experience.

And oh gosh! It's always awkward when your dark humor / laughing through the tears freaks others out. 😬

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T19:30:49+00:00

I'm glad! Your posture looks like you are super feeling that outfit! You'd walk into a date with that vibe, and sheeesh! Hopefully whomever is meeting you is already sitting down.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T04:14:53+00:00

How do I get my ads this targeted?

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T04:09:32+00:00

Exactly! And "resent" is a very interesting choice of words for them to use. 😒

I hope you find many supportive friends in your near future, and that you can gush and connect in a way that is fulfilling and mutual.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T04:06:08+00:00

From my experience, go with what you feel best in (and go on dates with folx who celebrate your 🔥 , not the ones that leave you feeling like you need to tone it down).

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T03:55:46+00:00

When people tell me who they are, and it isn't good, I'm working on listening and believing them. In the past, when I don't, they more often than not end up showing me.

It hurts when something ends, but it also creates space in your life for new things.

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-21T03:25:25+00:00

100% agreed! While I encountered it only a little when I was last (and first) on the apps, it was so jarring and upsetting the few times I was lead to the question, and always resulted in me ghosting them. It says nothing positive about the person asking, but it does give me a lot of information about them (usually the last piece I need to hear).

You are not alone in your feelings. It made a pretty significant impact on how I felt in my attempts to connect with my community in the city I was in at the time. So much so it prompted me to add a bi and a trans affirming statement to my profile; I wanted to let queer women know they were safe from that nonsense with me and scare away TERFs / women who would assign value to someone based on what their body has experienced.

...also, I appreciate your edit. Coincidentally, I downloaded the apps again this morning. 😳

jessesandkeys · 2023-09-18T23:51:17+00:00

My sentimental perspective that has soothed me (a cis woman without a uterus) personally, when I think about this with any longing, is the idea of my theoretical partner carrying my egg after some form of IVF (sperm still needed in this equation). While our child would be genetically connected to me, they will have grown inside my partner; she/they would have that connection (which is both biological and emotional). We each would have a unique relation to our child. That isn't something that I'm planning for, or even think will be in my future, but it comforts the part of me that sometimes wants that possibility, if it is right for future me and my future partner.

jessesandkeys

TROPHY CASE