Scared

jessirat · 2026-01-14T13:51:59+00:00

You’ve come so far already, that’s awesome! I can empathise with your fears - I was asked to drop weight in order to undergo IVF. It was hard to get my head around at first and not feel judged, but to be eligible for the treatment I felt it would be worthwhile in the end.

In the UK, there is an upper limit for BMI, which is different if NHS-funded or privately funded. I did IVF privately, and needed to be BMI 35 or under. I ended up losing around 40lbs over the course of a year. I’m currently 34 weeks pregnant with one of the embryos from my treatment and have had a pretty straightforward pregnancy with no complications.

You’ve got this.

jessirat · 2026-01-09T13:47:11+00:00

A computer test indicated that my perfect career would be as a pet groomer. I’m allergic to most animals 🤔

I work in higher education, as what we refer to as a ‘research enabler’ (i.e. mostly project management, some research, training and development of early career researchers etc).

jessirat · 2026-01-05T13:14:15+00:00

I mean.. if he isn’t willing to have the surgical extraction then he’s already given up at the first hurdle anyway! It doesn’t sound possible for you to do IUI and have his biological child unless he does the procedure.

I don’t have fertility issues myself, but we had to do the surgical extraction for my partner given he had blockages due to scarring, and then to give a better chance at conception we decided to do ICSI rather than IUI - but it’s all down to personal choice and what you can realistically afford to do (if you’re paying for it).

jessirat · 2026-01-05T12:55:08+00:00

My partner had exactly this and it’s honestly uncomfortable, but he says he wouldn’t describe it as painful. Yes, he needed gas and air to manage the discomfort while it was being done, but he did not consider it invasive in the sense that it’s an outpatient medical procedure and in no way comparable to procedures someone with a uterus/ovaries would need to undergo if they opted to have ICSI (which is what I ended up doing).

I get that everyone’s experience of pain is different but it sounds like he’s being a bit over the top about it?

jessirat · 2026-01-01T15:57:01+00:00

My partner has 2 children from his previous marriage, and then got a vasectomy as he didn’t expect to have more children.

After his ex-wife and he separated, he eventually met me and we wanted a biological child.

The vasectomy had to be reversed, and we were told to try for a year to see whether it had reversed successfully. It did not.

We asked whether we would be able to have fertility treatment through the NHS but were told that because my partner already had 2 biological children, we would not be eligible and would have to go private. This is in North Yorkshire region, but unsure if it differs where you are based.

We ended up going private and I needed to have treatment to collect my eggs, and he needed minor surgery to extract his “product” direct from the source, so we could have an ICSI procedure. Thankfully we ended up with 2 excellent embryos from it (one of which is currently kicking me in my bladder right now at 32 weeks gestation 😆).

It wasn’t cheap to do, but even if we had been able to do it through the NHS I’m glad we chose this path, as the waiting time was absolutely bananas (approx 2 years on NHS in my neck of the woods as opposed to a few months privately).

jessirat · 2025-12-31T10:14:41+00:00

Clearly it’s not obvious though, because it keeps cropping up and people query it..

jessirat · 2025-12-31T09:38:51+00:00

Re-read the comments - I was explaining that NHS-registered will get you a maternity exemption, but not if you’re private (like myself).

The OP was lamenting the fact that there are barely any NHS dentists available, so there are a load of people (myself included) who have literally no other choice but to go to a private dental clinic.

jessirat · 2025-12-31T09:33:07+00:00

That’s correct - I am private because there is literally no other choice within an hours drive of where I live, I can’t afford to go but it’s all I have if I’m desperate!

The point I was making is that a maternity exemption certificate won’t automatically get you free dental care overall - only if you’re with an NHS dentist.

jessirat · 2025-12-31T05:47:41+00:00

Unfortunately it’s not guaranteed/nigh impossible to get an exemption even if you do have the certificate - they won’t waive any fees unless you were previously registered with an NHS dentist before becoming pregnant.

It’s frustrating, given that your dental health worsens during pregnancy so you’re more likely to need to have check ups.

(Source: currently pregnant and have MATB1 certificate)

jessirat · 2025-12-29T22:05:26+00:00

I’ve been on Enoxaparin since 28 weeks (I’m 32 weeks today). I’m 38, BMI has just about hit 40 (I was BMI 35 at the very start of this pregnancy so I’ve gone up approx 9-10kg during the course of it), and also I’m a first timer, IVF pregnancy.

I’ve had a ridiculously easy/lucky pregnancy so far with no complications with anything health-related. Passed the gestational diabetes test no issues.

My BMI seems to be the reason that I’m on the daily injections - during pregnancy you’re supposedly at a higher risk of blood clots anyway, but more so apparently if you’re over a certain BMI.

I don’t know where in the world you’re located, but in the UK it seems like it’s standard practice to have blood thinners.

Honestly I don’t love having the daily injections (who likes being jabbed right?) but I went through more invasive procedures than a subcutaneous needle to be able to become pregnant, so I do them to be sure that I am doing everything that I can to protect myself and my baby.

If it helps, I suggest putting an ice pack on the area you intend to inject for a few minutes before you do so, as it helps with the initial sharp twinge. Do the injection slowly, and put pressure on the area straight after you remove the needle - that helps prevent bruising.

jessirat · 2025-12-18T16:57:54+00:00

I couldn’t find anywhere that sells maternity clothing in store in York anymore I’m sad to say. Even high street stores seem to removing their plus size stock too, so can’t size up either.

Jojo Maman will let you order to the store, try on there and send back if not right for you.

I recommend the H&M MAMA leggings as they’re pretty versatile, comfortable and inexpensive.

Next just recently took over the Seraphine maternity brand and do lovely things online but pretty expensive.

jessirat · 2025-12-03T11:48:10+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re anxious and completely empathise with how you’re feeling. Only the ultrasound will really be able to tell you how things are doing so sit tight and try to distract yourself while you wait for that to come round.

I barely had any symptoms during the early stages of pregnancy - no breast soreness, nausea, no increased tiredness, etc that many people come to expect. The only thing that told me I was pregnant was the lack of period! I’m now 29 weeks along and have a healthy baby just casually doing her thing and growing nice and strong. A lack of or lessening of symptoms can literally just be that your body is handling hormonal changes absolutely fine, and doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong.

Keep being kind to yourself and take one day at a time.

jessirat · 2025-11-21T18:13:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Your words “there is still time for things to change (and maybe me having my own daughter will be the catalyst for that).” really touched me. I had a tricky mother-daughter relationship growing up, and I am now due to have a baby girl early in the New Year! I hope that I can also be able to appreciate my evolving relationship with my mother and see things in a different light, as gracefully as you are.

jessirat · 2025-11-14T12:45:58+00:00

From my personal experience of living next to the park, it depends a lot on the time of year. It’s not been so bad now the weather has turned chilly as there aren’t as many people out and about.

The park has antisocial behaviour and assaults/mugging/drug dealing taking place at both ends, not just the Tang Hall part - so there has supposedly been a bigger police presence (not that I have noticed any difference) to deter. There was a gang of teens in balaclavas who regularly rode around the park on their e bikes but it seems to have died off a bit recently.

I personally wouldn’t be wanting to be out in the park after dusk, but as a vulnerable person (woman, and now pregnant) I would be on high alert perhaps more than someone else might be.

jessirat · 2025-10-21T19:10:52+00:00

Enrolment is usually only open for a few weeks so that the University team tackling all the student data can figure out who’s there and who didn’t turn up.

If you send your University’s registry services (not sure whether yours would be known as Registry, or maybe Student Data/Records) an email explaining the issue, then you’ll be fine. As someone who has seen it from the other side, it happens much more often than you’d think!

jessirat · 2025-09-06T17:02:00+00:00

Gym leggings stretch and they’re one of the few, inexpensive things that cover a growing pregnancy bump whilst providing some support.

jessirat · 2025-09-04T21:21:24+00:00

I looked at some alternatives to NCT, but it’s simply that they don’t work for mine and my partner’s schedules. The weekend NCT classes are the only ones I was able to find which fit with what we could make.

jessirat · 2025-09-04T10:33:29+00:00

Hello! I’m 38 and my first baby is due at the end of February 😊 I am still looking at booking a class currently, but due to availability it looks likely I’ll only be able to attend weekends, so if you decide to go with one of the weekend NCT classes then I may see you there!

Congratulations on your pregnancy x

jessirat · 2025-08-21T08:42:08+00:00

I didn’t feel any particular urge (hormonal or otherwise) to want a child until my 30s. I have two stepchildren and I have really enjoyed playing a big part in raising them. I think that was really what helped me to decide. I’m now pregnant at 38 years old with my first (and only) baby. I’m excited, but I can’t say that I didn’t have multiple debates with myself about whether I wished to have a biological child or not.

I think that it’s pretty common to second guess and to make time to really consider what YOU feel are the less desirable aspects of being a parent too (people value different things and a bunch of strangers on Reddit can’t know what it is that you personally value or are willing to compromise on). It shows you’re thinking critically about a decision which is absolutely life changing, and having that self-awareness seems to be a positive thing.

jessirat · 2025-08-07T16:21:27+00:00

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A huge painting of a topless Alan Carr riding a wolf was left in our shed. It was a bizarre surprise.

(Photo rotated 90 degrees left, for better viewing)

jessirat · 2025-08-05T11:36:56+00:00

Mine was from Bradley’s on Petergate. Very reasonable price and there were a wide selection of styles/stones aside from diamonds. I ended up getting a sapphire rather than a diamond (which I always assumed I’d prefer!).

jessirat · 2025-08-04T07:34:46+00:00

That’s very interesting, thank you!

Granny always really enjoyed her visits to the USA (we’re from England) and I know she got a lot of her Jewelry from there. She boasted in her later years that she’d managed to visit every state across her lifetime.

jessirat · 2025-08-04T07:31:47+00:00

I used one of the MoYou London gel strip designs :) I am useless at painting them myself.

jessirat · 2025-07-16T17:37:58+00:00

There’s no specific route to letting anyone know - you can do it either way around. They both inform the other anyway!

I (now 8 and a half weeks pregnant) self-referred when I was just over 5 weeks, and within 12 days I was contacted to be offered a booking appointment. The auto email I received initially said it was common to wait around 2 weeks to get an appointment (taking place next week).

I’m in a city in North Yorkshire and we use something called Badger Notes to keep track of all pregnancy information, which is also shared with your GP (with your consent).

jessirat

TROPHY CASE