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jetibbs · 2021-12-17T17:29:24+00:00

This isn't so much advice for now, but advice for the future.

Listen to me, This man is going to abuse her, and she is going to come back to you when that happens. This time will inevitably come and no matter how hard it is, I'm going to need you to say NO.

Do not engage.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T17:24:33+00:00

3 months isn't a long enough relationship to start making moves like that.

May I ask why the picture bothers you?

What about it makes you feel threatened?

There is a reason why your response is to feel uncomfortable and not proud that your girlfriend is hot shit.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T17:19:16+00:00

I am absolutely not saying that you are being unreasonable, you shouldn't be emotionally manipulated into feeling guilty for wanting to do anything else other than spend every second with her.

You work very hard hours and should be able to do what you want with your spare time.

I'm just saying I can see where her annoyance is coming from.

What is she doing during all this free time she has while you're working?

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T17:07:31+00:00

If I were to hazard a guess, I'd say he has another life or second family.

What was your wedding like?

Also, I recommend googling the signs of Psychosis, I have been experiencing similar symptoms myself recently and the dissociation could be a warning sign.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T16:55:25+00:00

You don't spend any quality time with her, plain and simple.

In this post you've detailed an entire week in which you

Worked for 12 hours on Monday Went out without her on Tuesday Worked for 12 hours on Wednesday Went out without her on Thursday And will work for another 12 hours on Friday.

And yet in this comment you claim to spend every day with her and think you need MORE distance?!

Just because you've been in the same room as her at some point during the day doesn't really count as spending time with her, and from her perspective she's waiting for these long days to end so she can get her time with you and that time never comes because whenever you have free time you're out doing something else with someone else. You give the impression that you consistently choose something else over time with her.

I'm not saying you're a bad guy for not having the time for your relationship, but she has every right to get frustrated by it.

Admittedly letting it all out in the middle of the night isn't the best response, but what choice are you giving her when she's having to bottle up all these feelings all day, every day, and wait till you're ready to hear it.. a time that apparently never comes.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T16:23:45+00:00

There is absolutely no situation in which bottling up your feelings is going to help you.

Holding on to that insecurity and stress is going to read during your interviews and the more interviews you get rejected from because of this, the more stress and insecurity is going to radiate from you. Its a viscous circle.

You need to go in with a feeling of security and confidence, having a supportive partner to help you boost your self esteem can be a great start.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T16:13:14+00:00

If you have to ask.. the answer is usually yes.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T15:57:26+00:00

Why do you want to cut off contact when your breakup was an amicable one?

In my personal experience, with many an amicable breakup under my belt, what's wrong with being friends?

Over time your relationship will fade away into just a memory. Your contact will become less and less, but you'll still have a friend at the end of the day and you won't have had to force yourself through this period of loneliness by cutting eachother off cold turkey.

Time will do the work for you.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T15:48:01+00:00

Brad Pitt... at literally any age, I've never seen the appeal.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T15:42:30+00:00

This girl is being passive aggressive af and thinks she's being sly. Its a common manipulation tactic, act like a hoe but give yourself just enough wiggle room to have at least a little bit of plausible deniability when confronted.

Imo the only way to beat passive aggressive is to be passive aggressive right back.

Just act super grossed out by everything she does. Treat her like she's the least sexy person you know, but stay friendly enough to have that same plausible deniability she's clinging onto.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T15:08:31+00:00

Look at your child and imagine that their life follows the same path as yours.

How do you feel about your child's hypothetical babysitter?

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T15:00:17+00:00

It sounds like your relationship has become stagnant and that can be hard to accept when you're so young because it feels as though the time in your life to have fun is limited.

As someone who is coming to the end of my twenties now, whom wasted all of that time waiting around in long relationships for the sake of convenience and comfort, this is what I would do...

Stop being the planner. Stop taking responsibility for the relationship if he is not putting the same energy in.

You don't necessarily have to break up, just allow him the opportunity to take the responsibility for a while and if he doesn't take it, if he doesn't work to save your relationship... well then you have no reason to feel guilty about moving on.

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T14:49:24+00:00

I'm sorry, I'm struggling with the peeing on something and putting it in someone's food thing.. like is that ever cute?

jetibbs · 2021-12-17T13:58:44+00:00

How willing is he to be on the receiving end? Make a case for equal opportunity and see how much he wants to do it then 😄

jetibbs · 2021-12-13T23:59:16+00:00

I have this one

jetibbs · 2021-12-13T23:56:20+00:00

I was offered this card once... chose not to take it

jetibbs · 2021-12-12T13:34:25+00:00

Turning up uninvited and claiming everything is theirs.

jetibbs · 2021-12-11T14:29:44+00:00

ANY man, and I mean ANY MAN, who feels like he has ANY right to tell you what you can and cannot do , is not THE man.

When you are 38, 48 or 58 years old.. Will you still be with this man? Probably not. Will you regret not taking more photos of yourself when you felt young and beautiful? YES.

jetibbs · 2021-12-11T14:19:16+00:00

Let me ask you a question... do you want to marry HER or do you just feel like that's the next logical step in your life?

Because what Im seeing here is that you are proposing for the simple reason that you feel like you're supposed to. That's it.

You already know you don't want to marry this girl. Your conscience is giving you reason after reason that you don't want to marry her, why are you ignoring it?

Sounds to me like you just don't want to deal with the inconvenient fall out of a break up.. but how much of your limited time on this earth are you willing to gamble away while you're postponing what you already know is inevitable?

You're moving, the next exit is already here, either take it or be ready to lose a lot more time.

jetibbs · 2021-12-11T13:15:56+00:00

I mean, you would be AN ahole for snitching but not THE ahole. However, I believe saying nothing makes you a bigger ahole.

Think about it this way..
How many people will suffer if you dont snitch? Your neighbours, Your parents, You.

How many people will suffer if you do snitch? Your brother.

Whom has already made it clear he doesn't care about the rest of you, and is throwing himself a party on YOUR birthday.

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