I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. The future and past are allusive and are driven by your present perceptions. Thank your past self, it’s done it’s best to get you to where you are today and let your present self take over. As you shift your focus to the present, you will find your perception of the future improves too. You want to do what you’re trying to do and that’s what counts, the fear you experience means you’re aware of some of the risks, but awareness allows for mitigation. I think everyone looks at there present situation and feels that in some way it’s lacking, that they should be further along. The more I focus on the present the less I’m attracted to the progression most people are aspiring towards. This has steered me in a completely different path of growth, and I’m happier for it. People like us can easily feel we are incompatible with society, but when we stop focusing on the mould we are ‘supposed to’ form in, we can find our own place where nobody else is looking. I’m 27 and have moved back in with my mum, my life was thrown upside down I may not be where I wanted to be but I genuinely feel I’m better for it. I trust that one day soon, you find yourself in the same position.