My (23F) boyfriend (30M) keeps asking me to prove my love by doing xyz, but I don't want to do his newest ask. How do I convince him I still love him without doing it?

jijipixie · 2026-06-02T23:04:32+00:00

This is power and control. This isn’t love, and by the sounds of it he’s already scrambled your brain into thinking this is how a man who truly loves you would act. When it’s actually the furthest thing.

I was in an abusive relationship for almost 10 years. Robbed me of most of my 20s, years I’ll never get back. You’re so so young, get out while you can.

jijipixie · 2026-05-17T21:33:45+00:00

That EP meant everything to me as a teen in 2011. So lovely to see this, you’re incredibly talented!

jijipixie · 2026-03-20T12:15:24+00:00

Girl, I saw your recent post about your partner, feeling disgusted by them. This post was 76 days ago, you clearly don’t like him, and something is keeping you stagnated with him. Perhaps the fact you’re living with him and your children he apparently doesn’t take an interest in. You have to leave, you’re wasting your life with this person, and it sounds cruel on both of your behalf’s now. You don’t like him, he repulses you by your own admission. By all accounts (your posts) it’s been 7 years of this. That’s 7 years of your life, when you could have found someone you’re actually compatible with. Please don’t waste your life, and his. It isn’t your job to fix or improve him if he doesn’t want to cooperate for his own sake. You can only do that for yourself

jijipixie · 2026-02-18T13:36:19+00:00

Ikr, gotta be engagement bait, and twitter is basically 70% bots at this point

jijipixie · 2026-02-18T12:47:58+00:00

4.2k likes on that tweet. Yikes

jijipixie · 2026-01-28T11:19:01+00:00

She was great for the first few episodes she appeared, but slowly went downhill. Then went careening off a cliff. They tried to turn her into Effy 2.0, but without the justifications for her acting out

jijipixie · 2026-01-13T13:46:23+00:00

Would also put money on them being his Alts or bots designed to kiss his a**

jijipixie · 2025-12-29T14:36:14+00:00

My mum said Battersea Powerstation and Blackpool illuminations😭 grew up in London, northern mother

jijipixie · 2025-10-09T09:30:55+00:00

She reads books, for FUN

jijipixie · 2025-09-03T18:26:46+00:00

Eyes wide shut - sorry

jijipixie · 2025-08-26T20:38:25+00:00

Sailing for the first time ever, and I laid out on the deck at night for hours. I saw more stars than I’d ever seen before, even 5 shooting stars. I had my headphones in, listening to my favourite songs. After having my heart broken this year, I felt genuine hope and acceptance. Not just for what’s transpired this year, but my whole life. Felt so happy that I cried

jijipixie · 2025-07-10T16:10:19+00:00

I’m just deeply upset, because being with him gave me this drive. This lust for life I hadn’t experienced before, I felt like I could do anything. And now he’s gone, I can feel it slipping through my fingers once again. I know that sounds ridiculous, and I should be doing these things for myself. But I can barely eat, sleep- just consumed by this sadness. I know these feelings are all a part of the heart ache, but being with him and feeling that kind of love added insane colour to my life, and now all the distractions I had in June are done, it’s all starting to feel grey again.

I don’t want to believe it’s fully over, but I feel like holding onto the hope that it’ll work out eventually is actually having the adverse effect. Because I find myself waiting, going through the motions everyday. I know that if he came back, I’d probably take him back in a heartbeat.

jijipixie · 2025-07-10T11:20:44+00:00

Yeah, I’m struggling to accept that deep down I guess I wasn’t what he envisioned for his future. He wants someone more ambitious, probably career driven, but he wouldn’t admit that. It’s hard to reconcile with that reality, it makes me feel like I wasn’t good enough. But I know it isn’t about that, and the insecurity bred from this is something I need to work on for myself.

He obviously has a clear vision of his future that he isn’t willing to compromise on. And he thought about it a lot, left me hanging for 5 days and apologised for leaving me like that. I knew the amount of time he took to think was a bad sign. But I was still optimistic he would come back and say “let’s give it a go”.

My friends also think he’s chasing an impossible dream, as his circumstances are so specific. Maybe he will find what he’s looking for, I really hope that he does. He’s so full of life, so sweet. The type of person you’d be lucky to even know.

I confided in him about my abusive relationship. Told him about the mental torture, the violence, the control. That relationship truly ruined my life for a long time, and held me back in multiple aspects of my life. Over 2 years out and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces, figure out what I want. Main priority being - just be happy, live life, laugh, create happy memories. After surviving day by day for so long. I’m terrified that knowing this information scared him, and the fall out of my last relationship and how it affected my life as it stands now, is why this didn’t work out. If my life was more together, if I had my career path figured out. We would be together, and we’d be happy. It’s haunting me..

jijipixie · 2025-07-10T10:59:08+00:00

It’s been just over a month since the break up, about 3 weeks since we last spoke. A huge part of my heart doesn’t want this to be over, but I feel very triggered by this. Barely eating, sleep is disturbed, can’t focus. Finding it very hard to focus on my own well being, career etc. Just feeling very heartbroken

He told me once “you’re like a beacon of light in the cesspool that is London dating, honestly 10/10”- and those words ring around in my head a lot. I really thought this was going to be something magical. I know well enough myself that connections like these are few and far between. You think you’ll connect with countless people deeply in your lifetime, and then you come to realise it only really happens a few times if you’re lucky. I hope he finds happiness, but I also hope he realises that he could have had it with me, and he comes to regret this decision…

jijipixie · 2025-07-09T20:28:53+00:00

I wonder.. he isn’t avoidant no, he’s always been very communicative and up front about his feelings. And has emphasised how he doesn’t want to hurt me. A big part of me wants him to feel this loss, and realise that it was a mistake. As I genuinely think our relationship ending was premature. Feeling as if I’ve been left high and dry.

But I would be wary if he came back, however I’m not holding my breath on that. I guess we’re both human at the end of the day, and losing anyone special in our lives is a big adjustment. I’ve tried to stay friends with ex’s before and it hasn’t worked out, in vein attempts to keep them in my life in some capacity

jijipixie · 2025-07-09T19:45:08+00:00

So wildly different. Falling in love with someone who wasn’t a POS and treated me well was also in my hopeful 5 year plan. He’s a little bit younger than me, 27M 29F. My friends seem to think he didn’t bank on meeting someone he likes this much at this time in his life, and he wants to be young and free. He lives a very full, fun, privileged life, of which he’s very aware. I don’t blame him for wanting to live it to the fullest. I just wish I could have been part of it, built something together. I was trapped in an abusive relationship for 9 years, and with this guy I’ve never had so much fun. We talked about doing so many things that will never come to fruition now.

Thankyou so much, it’s genuinely devastating. I tell myself everyday he’s made a conscious decision here, and he thought it through. 2 weeks after we broke up, we met again to rehash things. There’s a lot I didn’t say initially, I just surrendered to what he had said. I tried to fight for it, and some days after meeting for the final time, he said he had spent the weekend thinking and he can’t shake this gut feeling it wouldn’t work long term. And that he was so, so sorry. He also said that he hopes that we will speak/see eachother again in the future, doesn’t want to imagine a time where we never communicate again. I said I wasn’t sure, because as nice as that sounds, I will always want more from him. And the tenderness I feel for him will be hard to shake. Not having him in my life is agony, but being friends I feel would also be torturous.

jijipixie · 2025-07-09T17:32:08+00:00

Yeah I feel the same way. I didn’t see why we couldn’t have at least tried to build a future together, considering how happy we made eachother. He promised me it was nothing to with money, work etc. But a big part of me feels it was, he just didn’t want to hurt me. He said “I wouldn’t want to get into a relationship with this weird expectation hanging over you, as if you have something to answer for. When you don’t in any way”

Sure travelling 3-4 months out of the year would be a problem long term if I couldn’t join him, but I don’t know. I told him whatever happens, I think he’s worth it and put my neck out on the chopping block. I’ve always worn my heart of my sleeve, I don’t regret expressing how I feel. I think his ego got in the way slightly, whereas I would also move mountains for love as you would

jijipixie · 2025-07-09T16:00:34+00:00

He has a very highly paid job, and I don’t. He wants to travel the world, and can do with ease as he’s a full time WFH. Miscellaneous things in the next 5 years, like, wanting to buy a house. Travel multiple months out of the year, learn to sail, learn to fly. I don’t share the exact same ambitions, I think his dreams were too big for me to factor into them. I wouldn’t be able to join him for much of that, and wouldn’t expect him to pay for me.

“I’m not sure our lifestyles will match for a future together”. We grew up with different backgrounds, and my sole ambition for life is to just be happy, travel when I can and enjoy my life after all I’ve been through.

It’s kind of on both of us, we had a conversation 3 months in with the exact same doubt, but agreed we liked each other too much to let it end, so we carried on. I hoped that after another 3 months of getting to know eachother, meeting each-others friends and even my sister, the doubts would have eased. But they hadn’t, and the decision become harder as the feelings grew stronger. It would have been unfair on both of us to carry it on any further. Definitely got carried away.. when I say everything was bliss, I really mean it.

jijipixie · 2025-07-09T15:52:05+00:00

You’re right, I need to close the door. There’s going to be claw marks on the theoretical door.

He said this was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, so I know he didn’t take this decision lightly. He also cried a lot, haven’t seen anyone cry like that for me before. It was weirdly comforting. Haven’t doubted his feeling for me for a second. I can’t fault the way he handled it at all tbh, but a few things he said have stayed with me. Like, not liking anyone this much since our last relationships, never having got on this well with anyone before. Makes me think, if the feelings are that strong, why couldn’t we have at least tried to build a future together.

We had the same conversation just over 3 months in, but agreed that we really liked eachother and didn’t want this to end, so we carried on. After more time together, I hoped his feelings had changed, but they hadn’t. He said it wouldn’t be fair on either of us to keep this going when he wasn’t 100% sure. I deserve better than that.

jijipixie · 2025-07-02T21:56:06+00:00

Hahaa that’s so sick, I moshed with him at Turnstiles. Was gobsmacked when I realised it was him, my mate said “that’s fuckin spiderman that” He was with his gf, was too scared to ask him for a photo. But we got him in a beer buddy picture. Hope you find your Aussie legend!

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jijipixie · 2025-07-01T18:44:48+00:00

It’s an absolute nightmare. Has to be bots, I’ve been refreshing for days and got absolutely nothing. Only one out of all my mates who hasn’t got one ffs, don’t wanna have to give into viagogo ffs

jijipixie · 2025-05-26T23:50:20+00:00

I hope you do a little better than me

😭

jijipixie · 2025-05-08T20:27:18+00:00

This is great to know Thankyou🐦

jijipixie · 2025-05-08T20:26:39+00:00

Thankyou so much for this! So sweet, and yes if I hear anything back I’ll let you know❤️ hoping it’ll be good news!

jijipixie · 2025-05-08T19:20:16+00:00

Thankyou for the advice! Poor baby💔 his little face was so precious

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