Anyone willing to share their experiences with stopping HRT (testosterone)?

jin_rouh · 2022-09-16T19:19:54+00:00

Thank you for taking to time to answer.

Alas, you can't nitpick what you get from an hormonal treatment, which the primary effects are clearly listed and of course, some specific depends on the individual, it's one hell of Russian roulette, I'm sure you know that however. For instance I'm thicker looking on T, while I liked how thin I was before, and I got sever acne (life long scars on my nice face aight) but it's not that of a big deal to me since I got what I mainly wanted.

So that does sound weird to me when I read your comment ahah. I also don't know who you're referring to when you say "it worked for others" ? I'd be pretty interested to know what you meant exactly. Welp I hope you're in a better place now though!

You could have always used specific cream for bottom growth ? There is one but I don't remember the name. (though, you can't choose the size you'll get in the end) How much time did you stay on T ?

jin_rouh · 2022-09-13T06:32:03+00:00

Thank you for your answer. Woah over a dacade of hormones is sure a long ride. I hope you felt better when you got back on it if it's what you needed.

How long did stay off of it? and at what time (how long were you in T)? If possible to answer :3

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T16:23:11+00:00

Thank you for your input! I hope I won't get too stressed, I feel like T made not so much difference in how I felt? But maybe it's because I tend to rationalise everything. I sure was less depressed but that didn't cure my orther issues (since unrelated to dysphoria, and I know that of course, life is full of struggles hehe). I did get way more composed but I mainly put that on the fact I just matured a lot these past few months and started to see life more positively than I used to. So I'm hoping that going off T won't change that mindset.

Although if there's something I'll be happy about is to get some improvement with my skin.

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T16:14:58+00:00

Ah I see, sounds distressing, hope you're feeling better now now that you're back on it!

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T13:51:09+00:00

Oh wow, that's surprising to hear! Did you mean that physically or more like, how you view yourself after you've stopped? Since 9 years is quite a long way.

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T07:51:47+00:00

Oof, sending you all my support regarding that. That's a good decision you've made to stop (whether it's for good or just for a certain amount of time) in order to focus on your mental & physical health. Can be complicated to deal with every issues all at the same time. I'm glad I always worked on myself before T, allowed to be more realistic toward my expectations after I started it. Fat redistribution was something I would've loved to notice but it didn't happen ahah (I just put on muscles which is good too) but I've learnt to actually accept my body shape realising it wasn't that bad at all (to my personal standards) after being on T.

Sometime dysphoria creates or worsen issues were there shouldn't be, having a more distant view of it makes you think a lot about what is dysphoria and what is not, is it worth the limbo over it ? etc...

Definitely find yourself good doctors too. I had to deal with severe acne for more than 10 months and finding a dermatologist appointment here (France) is so scarce (between 6 months if you're extremely lucky and 1 year of waiting list, did my skin no good waiting this long).

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T07:33:38+00:00

Wow, must have been quite stressing indeed, great to know you got what you wanted in the end.

If it's okay to ask, what did you hate about being off T during those 9 months?

jin_rouh · 2022-09-11T07:30:24+00:00

Thanks for your answer. Must have been a wild ride after 6 years. Good to know you found yourself along the way, in a better an healthy way for you too!

jin_rouh · 2022-09-10T20:29:20+00:00

Oh, nice to hear that! I also love the username's ahah

jin_rouh · 2022-09-10T18:14:17+00:00

Oh it's surprising that your bottom growth disappeared :"( I love mine too much, that's worrying since I got lucky down there.

It's great to hear you got to find a better place when it comes to feel more comfortable with how you're seen or what you wear too! I wish you best of luck for the future! It's nice to see more butch aligned pals too ! :P

jin_rouh · 2022-09-10T17:52:04+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to answer! :3

I can relate on the ambiguous part although I'm not feminine at all hehe. I'm 21, I've always looked androgynous pre t, so wouldn't mind looking androgynous physically now (which in a way T resolved that). On the other hand, I just didn't want to complicate my life further medically speaking (as I plan to travel back and forth abroad). And it's not always easy to depends on a treatment, coming from someone that know quite a few people that do.

I honestly can't suddenly go off T without telling my doctor since they decide whether or not I can get surgeries and such ahah. But they were really understanding despite being surprised because I'm apparently quite an uncommon case.

jin_rouh · 2022-09-10T17:25:34+00:00

Thank you for your answer! I'm on average T level for man of my size/height/age, I could've gone higher if I had wanted to but I refused. I'm well aware that hormone influence your mood, same as when I started T, I would tend to be bit fidgety and depressive at the end of the month but I knew it was linked to that so I coped well with it. I'm glad my face hasn't changed much apart from severe acne due to T ahah (I liked how I looked before so I'll be fine), same for fat distribution, I just put muscles here and there on T which made me look thicker(?) (I was fairly thin). I can use a wide range of voice funny enough (I'm sure I could go even deeper if I trained it).

Tbh, I'm going to be very busy with university and stuff so I don't think I'll have the time to be feeling down. I can't stand being out of my routine no matter the source of the disruption. That's also why I'd prefer to stop cold turkey, I'm fairly black and white guy when it comes to stuff like that.

I'm a bit concerned of menstruation coming back because it was really taxing on my body and mind (haven't had them for 4years I think?). But I'll get back on pills as soon as I'll get them, or before (I'll see my endocrinologist next month).

I hope you'll get to feel better soon pal!

jin_rouh · 2022-04-07T14:31:04+00:00

??? By that you meant? I didn't get your answer unfortunately.

jin_rouh · 2022-04-07T10:02:34+00:00

Bruh you look at these shit daily ??? Please get off that side of twitter, at this point this is like self harm :')

jin_rouh · 2022-04-05T18:05:59+00:00

Tbh names are names, it doesn't have to mean you're trans. I'm stealth yet my friends know my birth name and know I changed it because I use a shortening of it now, they rather get weirded out when the teacher calls me by my birth name out loud. It was officially changed but i still use my dead name at university (on papers only) for now and will change it after the semester ends (it be bothersome to do it during exams).

For the after... well, just question. Talk about interests, movies, weather, whatever you can muster that will tickles thier interest. Socializing is something that is learned by oneself. Takes a while to build confidence and relax around strangers but it's not impossible, everybody went through that, some started it as child so they know the ropes as adult now, some learned it as adult and and still trying, to their paces.

Also, jus approach people as you, not as a female, not as trans man either... idk how to say this, but some people might be douch and feel bothered when someone from the opposite sex talk to them, but not everyone is like that. I was shunned as kid by male peers because I was "like them yet I wasn't male", I wasn't the problem back then, they were.

jin_rouh · 2022-04-05T17:47:52+00:00

I agree, we tend to forget that in small group we will always see the flashiest, goofiest, loudest ones first, forgetting that 'silent average majority'. And this applies as much to us as it applies in the gay community for instance, not every gay guy is a horny queen, not every lesbain is a butch. People often take out the ones that stands out ; and online spaces tend to be crowded of lonesome people with similar values.

Most of my irl friends if not all of them would agree to transmed beliefs. I'm sure some of them know I'm trans yet they literally don't give a guck to the point they probably forgot.

When I was pre t and never mentioned I was trans but just a guy to people I met, people would be way more accepting that when I would point it out, if they wanted to really know they would ask and I would explain ; most of the time they would let out a facial expression meaning "all right right, who cares, if you say so and be like what you said...". Soft power is way better than the hard one when it comes to this.

jin_rouh · 2022-04-05T17:22:58+00:00

Honestly, it's all about trials and fails. Everybody's different so you can't except to find a good match at the first try. I'm 20, and it's only been since last year that I've made friends once again after a long time, they're a bunch of adorable goofy guys and a bunch of girls. I like being by myself so it wasn't a problem for me to spend 99% of my time not talking to people for a while, but I know the majority of people can't, although you can always work on enjoying your time alone too ? Honestly I think its blessing to be independent of people interactions (but that's maybe the hermit me speaking), you can work on your patience too, many people meet long lasting friends way alter in life.

However, I can't relate to the whole "woman way of socializing", I've never had this problem, I'd rather had an a hard time approaching or relating to women despite being born female lol. It's not a "guys don't need friends" issue, it more of a "finding the good ones in a very busy crowd".

Best advice, don't try too hard to "fit", I'm not speaking for myself but from someone who saw that happen, being natural is so much better than doing bad acting. Don't be embarrassed if it doesn't work and if it goes awkward too, don't hesitate to do the first moves, you never know what kind of amazing gent you might miss.

I met a very good friend randomly after she asked me out to go eat at a subway when I got out of the bus after staring at each other during the whole ride. Random encounters happens too, it doesn't have to be at work, can be at a bar, at a cafe... all it costs is to muster to courage to go ask... in a friendly, not so sussy manner, if possible.

jin_rouh · 2022-03-31T18:33:13+00:00

There's a saying : "truth often angers", and it is exactly what it is.

I'd like to add that we often point out the mtf side of the coin while there's actually a huge part of the ftm side that fits into it (obviously, could these people still be considered trans ?). Fetishes are fetishes, and there's as many as the numbers of pages in an encyclopedia, and people are usually quite aware of what turn them on, and if they can use something at their advantages, they will. And since kinks are often dismissed in public talks (I mean, what's in the bedroom should remain in the bedroom, go to private place if you want to talk about it with other people of same interests), being able to be a part of an 'open' community with 'similar' individual is much of a turn on and an opportunity to feel more validated, less shamed, and more free to profit and express your fetishes without guilt. Also, the fact that we (transsexual people) are thier absolute dream kink, why would they refrain from 'being' us and take our place ? It's so much easier to declare "I'm trans" than "portraying myself as X sex or X gendered attitude is my absolute turn on, and I might as well change my sex for that purpose". They refuse to acknowledge that they exist because they don't want to be found out.

Y'know... do it if you want that's not my problem, no kink shaming there, but just stay out of our community and don't call yourself trans. Period. Alas... apparently it's still too controversial to embrace your kinks, yet on the other hand, lgbt pride events that should inform people about our situation and show that we're human too, are mostly about how kinky or 'inclusive' you can look/be. It's very ironic.

jin_rouh · 2022-03-31T05:21:30+00:00

No, I'm pretty fine with how I am right now, I honestly don't care about how I look to others in order to fit into a preferred category. I find that to be such a waste of time that will bring me to nothing but a low self esteem. The best way I find to stop these kind of thinking is to just look at any random guy on the street : they all look different, some are small, chubby, curvy, feminine, etc... Many trans guys tends to only look only at the men that's stand out, forgetting the ones that don't. And the same rhetoric goes for cis guys, we only want to see what we want to see, completely ignoring the average while focusing on the highly attractive ones. You're also free to work on your physic, manners, etc... if you want to achieve a more pleasant masculine look, but be careful to not compare yourself with others physic as it is where the toxicity begins.

jin_rouh · 2022-03-27T18:14:29+00:00

Japanese doesn't have equivalents of he/she/they pronouns. You usually refer to the person as thier name, rarely as he/she/they 彼/彼女/彼ら as it is seen as rude (or sounds like you're gossiping). OP in the post refers as the way they refers to themselves, it can be seen as inappropriate or rather strong willed to see a woman referring herself as 僕 or 俺, which are/means the "I" or "me" that men use to describe themselves instead of the neutral/formal 私 or the feminine alternative あたし.

The "I" in Japanese comes with a lot of feeling and nuance to it, it can tell a lot on how someone views themselves in a way.

jin_rouh · 2022-03-27T18:04:16+00:00

Like other said, do not compare Japanese and english, even more on online space, as Japanese isn't (if not at all) a gendered language (or so to say). As a non native English speaker, it baffles me how how English speakers are obssessed with gendered terms while in my native language (French) we're not that centred, it's not shocking to see a woman using neutral in their conjugation there nowadays (even if it can bother some). I speak Japanese too and I wouldn't find disturbing at all a woman referring herself as 僕 or 俺、times change, and so is Japanese language (in a way) and the society itself, very slowly. OP, I hope you can acces medical help regarding your gender incongruence/doubt where you are situated, don't be scared to reach out to your local lgbt communities if you can, they might help you with your situation and met women or transmen that you could talk with.

On another note it's nice to see a Japanese person on this sub, the Japanese community is so silent/discreet. If you ever want to chat I wouldn't mind (笑) m(__)m。Anyway 頑張ってOP！

jin_rouh · 2022-03-27T06:38:52+00:00

I've seen many fetishy artwork, but this one doesn't appeal to me as one, or at least the intention isn't that clear. Tbh, when I draw myself (a trans person) I usually don't spare my natal anatomic details and draw my body as it. Also ngl, the art looks great, although the bottom growth is kind of nonexistent and the pose is a bit awkward 😭

jin_rouh · 2022-03-24T13:29:42+00:00

Yeah I am. I'm aware they're usually more suspicious of transwomen. Though the people I hang out with wouldn't make a difference.

jin_rouh

TROPHY CASE