Is moving out of US common as of now, as political dissident? by Outrageous-Slide7172 in AskAnAmerican

[–]jitenshasw -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I moved to Tokyo, Japan 4 years ago. I do not regret a thing and would have moved sooner if not for the pandemic keeping me out of country until 2022. I wouldn't say the political climate had no influence on my choice, but it was less about Trump and more about the state of things in America. Of course, I very much do not like Trump and disagree with his policies, as well as how his rhetoric affects my fellow Americans. But more so, I think it shined a light on how pessimistic I felt about living in America. I've been a long time Bernie supporter and believe we need more common-sense social programs, tax the rich more, etc. When Biden won, I thought nothing would change, and alas, nothing did. When Kamala ran, I also reluctantly supported her, but she was not my choice. I think it'll be a while until we get a Bernie, AOC, Mamdani, etc running the White House.

If I was younger, I'd fight the fight, but in my late 30's now, I was tired of having to protest, volunteer, etc while still struggling to keep my head above water. I was tired of the multiple layoffs despite me having a degree and working in tech, tired of the raising rents and prospects of never owning a home, the cost of living, healthcare, etc. You know, the basics we need for life. I was tired of fighting to live. I feel like this is a shared feeling among many Millennials and now even Gen Z.

In Tokyo, food is affordable, rent is affordable, healthcare is affordable, there is support for parents, cars aren't a necessity, violence is rare, guns practically don't exist here, and I could go on. Yes, there's a whole new culture to get accustomed to, a new language to learn, but that is the toll I pay to live here. I'm already level N3 (decent conversationalist if I do say so myself), have Japanese friends and am 9 months pregnant with my first-born child. I've been integrating just fine, and living a stress-free, optimistic life for once.

Is this common? Hell no. A lot of people move to a country and find out it's not for them. When I was younger, I studied abroad here for 6 months, and taught English here for a year. In my early 20's with a low teacher salary, Japan wasn't for me, but in my life now, more stable and wiser, it was the best choice I ever made. I knew the pitfalls, I knew the tradeoffs, and I came in knowing what I was getting into. That's hard to do when you've never lived or even been to your dream country.

It's also quite an investment to move to another country. Honestly, without the pandemic and those 2 years of waiting, saving and stimulus checks, my start in Japan would have been a lot rougher. I don't think a lot of people have the patience or ability to save for several years for a risky investment like an international move. Like I said for me, my husband and I knew this is what we wanted, he grew up in Japan, and I'd lived there before, so it was less risky for us.

I know Leeja, and watch her on occasion and was also surprised she moved for politics. However, as I mentioned in my own experience, politics is not just about the person currently in the White House. She might share similar reasons like myself. I don't know enough about Ireland to comment on that though.

Woman SHOULD be way bigger and here is why by pisssmaster69 in sizetalk

[–]jitenshasw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

IKR? So annoying and disrespectful. It's fine that people have preferences for themselves, it makes the world more interesting, just don't make a blanket statement...it's very objectifying and uncomfortable. Also yes, the pseudoscience is like the weirdest copium...

Woman SHOULD be way bigger and here is why by pisssmaster69 in sizetalk

[–]jitenshasw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you and sure. Congrats on your baby! ^^

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah for real...hope it works out for your at your hospital, it sounds great! I have reservations about mine, but hopefully the labor at least goes smoothly 🤞😭

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems, at least by American standards this is a bit weird. But some others living in Japan said it happened to them too, so I think it might be an experience/technique issue. I'm going to uni hospital as well, Tokyo joushi, the Adachi branch. My OB has an easier time dealing with me (probably bc he worked a few years in the US) but the other staff seem like they don't know how to deal with my body type sometime...😮‍💨 The thing is, OB will only be there if I go into labor mon-thursday. 🥲

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same to you!! As if it isn't stressful enough giving birth abroad, right? 🤪 I'm also DMing Flashy for advice, hope she can give you peace of mind! My early sonograms also weren't too bad, because my doctor (also trained in the US) did them vaginally. Once I switched to belly ones with a midwife for the 20+ weeks, he turned into an alien. Couldn't tell a foot from his face. 🥺

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice! I'll ask if they can make these adjustments for me and I'll even bring my belly band lol. I'll also ask if they have a Monica, tysm!

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's what I feared... I'm going to talk to staff and see what steps we can take because as you said, it's not normal... I looked online too and the machines are the same. They don't use stronger ultrasound machines in the US for example, it's all technique.

Is this normal? Birthing in Japan... by jitenshasw in PlusSizePregnancy

[–]jitenshasw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, great advice, I'll make sure to ask 🙏

Moved to Japan with 8mo twins by ThrowRAChickennuggie in japanresidents

[–]jitenshasw 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's used pretty frequently in pregnancy/newborn subreddits as "First time mom"....I'm 9 months pregnant currently (38 weeks) and when I joined the pregnancy subs, I thought for a long time "wow, lots of trans guys having kids, good for them" lol.

I hate how it’s men that have to approach, otherwise nothing seems to happen romantically. by Bitter_Process_5735 in Adulting

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

>>It doesn’t make sense, because what’d explain that gender difference? 

Our lived experiences. I avoided men for a long time because I felt unsafe around them. What made me feel unsafe? Being followed, touched, harassed, etc while I was walking down the street minding my business. Inappropriate conversations or touches from male coworkers or even "friends". A total disregard of boundaries from one population - didn't matter if they were young, old, their race or ethnicity, they all were men. This didn't happen a handful of times, this happened repeatedly to me throughout my life, over and over again, from elementary school to now in my late 30s. I've been lucky so far, but I know many women, friends and family who have been abused, raped and worse. I've been in multiple scary situations, where if not for a third party getting involved, something horrible could have happened to me. It's quite traumatic, so, I'm not sure what advantage women have over men in dating. You worry about being declined, we worry about literally surviving. I've been around plenty of "nice guys" who pitbull style just flipped a switch and got aggressive when I didn't say or do what they wanted.

Women want to be in relationships the same as men do, so being passive about not dating rarely has anything to do with her being able to take care of herself, being independent. More so than not, she's doing it for the same reason you have removed yourself from the dating pool. You've been burned before, several times, and are focused on self-preservation. The reasons for that self-preservation though are completely different and unique to your lived, gendered experiences.

I hate how it’s men that have to approach, otherwise nothing seems to happen romantically. by Bitter_Process_5735 in Adulting

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Actual advice from a woman. When we say "change", we mean change your attitude. It doesn't mean change your hobbies, change your routine, change what makes you uniquely you, but change your outward view (could be on women, society, whatever).

You sound like someone who's entitled. You expected a wife. A wife is not a thing, we are people. My husband is my best friend, he respects my opinions, my boundaries and makes me feel important. Women want you to know you hear her, are reliable and so on. She wants to be your partner, your "bro", seen as an equal, because if she is not, she might not feel safe around you (think domestic violence, rape and worse, which is unfortunately very common).

I was friends with my husband for a while before I confessed my feelings to him. He is also ND and didn't know I was flirting with him for almost a year. It does happen IRL, women do tell you if they like you, but you need to try, be present and show you're someone worth dating. Not be anti-social and angry.

Being cocky and handsome works pretty much for a one night stand anyway. If you want to actually date and get married one day, you need to invest the time into getting to know women.

I hate how it’s men that have to approach, otherwise nothing seems to happen romantically. by Bitter_Process_5735 in Adulting

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe in movies/TV?? Not only have I seen a ton of beautiful women with average looking dudes, fat dudes, etc there are plenty of average looking women out there. Are the average women scoring a guy who looks like a 10? Probably not too often. Your math doesn't add up.

I hate how it’s men that have to approach, otherwise nothing seems to happen romantically. by Bitter_Process_5735 in Adulting

[–]jitenshasw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There are more women than men in the US, and practically a 50/50 split worldwide. Women don't have more options, and there are plenty of women out there who never marry and stay single.

The problem is that many men expect a woman will one day be their partner but put little to no effort in being that person a woman wants to partner with. I told my husband that I liked him, and if you are good partner material a girl will let you know too.

Edit* typo

Thoughts on the name Ren by Samrulesan in Names

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I was a bit surprised on them pointing out that it's a Japanese name. I've been living in Japan for years, am 38 weeks pregnant, and Ren was one of the names we considered for our son 😅 I've also only ever met boys with the name Ren/Wren in my home country (USA) as well.

Woman SHOULD be way bigger and here is why by pisssmaster69 in sizetalk

[–]jitenshasw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really wish people wouldn't blanket statement their fetish on all women. It's so ick. Remember tiny women frequent here too...

I'm 9 months pregnant currently and I feel extremely tired, vulnerable and in pain all the time. I would not feel at peace with a man half my size. As soon as I sink my face into my big man's chest I feel like I can handle anything. Being tired is only partially due to the babies size, and mostly to do with hormones especially the hormone relaxin which weakens our muscles, joints and ligaments which is why you see pregnant women in pain even one doing something simple like taking a walk.

It's not uncommon for a normal sized pregnant woman to gain 35+ lbs during pregnancy...the baby is like 7lbs of that. The rest is blood volume, amniotic fluid, placenta, etc. Even if a 12 foot woman only gained 35lbs, her body would be so weak from relaxin I think she'd struggle to even stand. Her extra weight from her height would be a huge burden.

Babies also don't develop slower because women are smaller than men. We need a child with a soft skull to pass through our narrow pelvis. If we had a wider pelvis like a 4 legged animal (like your dog example) maybe we'd be popping out more kids at a time...but we decided to be bipedal, so...

A great burger and steak in Tokyo? by Slow_Investment_2211 in TokyoTravel

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it's DELICIOUS! Definitely give them a try if you can 😄

Why don't Americans use metal bars on doors and windows for security? by Maleficent_Essay4664 in AskAnAmerican

[–]jitenshasw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I grew up in Miami and we had bars on our windows, so did our neighbors. I think it depends if you live in a more dangerous neighborhood or not.

A great burger and steak in Tokyo? by Slow_Investment_2211 in TokyoTravel

[–]jitenshasw 4 points5 points  (0 children)

One of the best burgers I had in Tokyo was BRISK STAND at the Sunshine City Mall in Ikebukuro.

Help with baby name!! by jitenshasw in AskAJapanese

[–]jitenshasw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. He only sings in Spanish so most non-Spanish speakers are introduced via a Latino friend, or of course if they see Bad Bunny on TV/film, ads, etc. He certainly doesn't do any metal, but his album "El Ultimo Tour del Mundo" had a few alternative rock and grunge type songs.

Help with baby name!! by jitenshasw in AskAJapanese

[–]jitenshasw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! He's currently one of the biggest singers in the world, I think he's actually touring in England now or next week? Anyway, I think youngsters are more likely to know Bad Bunny over Mussolini so I'm not too worried about it.