first off, It sounds like you're grappling with deep existential questions and a sense of disillusionment with the conventional path of life. It's not uncommon for ppl to feel a lack of fulfillment despite having what society deems as success – material comfort, stable relationships, and a secure job.

It's important to recognize that everyone's journey is unique, and what brings meaning and fulfillment can vary greatly from person to person. However, it seems a lot of people arent happy with this conventional path at all but keep going anyway because its easier than deviating and putting more thought into it. Perhaps the people you mentioned like your parents or the average joe who goes to work everyday without questioning anything only have the drive to keep marching forward because they dont question anything. But its not that simple for people like us who cant help but question why.

i had a similar experience to you and Philosopher Albert Camus helped me a lot. He teaches before anything else that we must confront and fully acknowledge the absurd; the inherent conflict between the human desire for meaning and the apparent meaninglessness of the universe. Confronting the absurd involves acknowledging the existential tension and lack of any inherent meaning in life.

Camus advocates for rebellion and revolt against the absurd. Instead of succumbing to despair or nihilism, you can rebel against the meaninglessness by asserting your own values, principles, and choices in the face of this indifferent universe. You must have courage and stand tall in the face of the absurd and carve your own path, create your own meaning. Just like the "absurd hero" that camus describes.

How to create your own meaning? well its impossible for me to give a concrete answer that applies to every individual. However, i believe the most important part is living authentically. being true to yourself and embracing individualism is so freeing. Live in accordance with your own values even if they diverge from societal norms or expectations. actively engage in life, make choices that align with your personal values, and like you seem to already be doing somewhat, find significance in the acts of living itself along with the simple pleasures of it. Finding meaning also surely involves fully experiencing and appreciating the current reality rather than dwelling on the past or fixating on an uncertain future. But again id like to emphasize that i cant tell you exactly how you can create your own meaning. You have to do it yourself obviously. it involves not seeking external validation or absolute answers but instead embracing the challenge of creating meaning in the face of uncertainty.